(Written 3 years ago... Possible S.I. Trigger)

Not sure if this is the right place to post this... If moved will I be able to find it?

I was labeled Manic Depressive but today the acceptable term is Bipolar...
They also label Bipolar as Bipolar 1 or 2... I was told I am Bipolar 1... 1 is worst then 2... But what do I know...

Manic Depression

I laugh but deep inside I cry

I hit rock bottom,you think I’m high

how could you see behind my smile

its been painted there for such a while

all my troubles hide inside

they are like a mountain high and wide

its not your fault, you cannot know

if what I feel I do not show

you see there’s more to this depression

the wish to end all this suppression

the anger you have never seen

is more to me, its not a dream

a wish of death, desire to harm

yet on the surface full of charms

a problem shared is not halved to me

in fact it turns at least to three

I share my feelings and then you are blue

a problem shared passed on to you

what causes me such grief such pain

will I truly smile again

as friends go I am sure I’ve many

but when I get low I have not any

its true I can express others grief

and they stand back in disbelief

'how could you know the way I feel

how can I say it is not real

there is no god at least I think

its no surprise people turn to drink

its hard to look toward the future

when all you see is on your wrist a suture

the shrinks just smile and say 'there, there'

what do they know? Why should they care

imaginary friends beat you up for a laugh

then try to drown you in a bath

voices that tell you things so weird

and yet you are convinced you heard

tablets that make you sick and confused

if that is helping, you are doomed to lose

I could go on 'please don’t!!!',you scream

but sadly this is not a dream

the voices wont stop cause its me that I hear

When I found that out it filled me with fear

Fear of knowing just what I could say

More fearful of me with each passing day

If this is manic then take it back

Cause if this is manic then something I lack

I miss the high that I had before

I am permanently low and yet high I’m assured

The voices I hear used to be my friend

But those voices now predict the end

If the end was only of this depression

Then perhaps I’d feel much less aggression

But here right now I am making no sense

This tangled web is to immense

The price of being bi-polar I guess

Is walking around like me

IN A MESS!

---------- Post added at 02:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:59 AM ----------

Please feel free to comment...

This is my all time favorite poem of all I have ever written...

T