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Difficulty in expressing myself

Self-Injury - Other Topics, Problem Areas, and Disorders: Hi, I am having an increasingly hard time in expressing myself, obviously i Self Harm I try soooo hard to ...

 

  1. #1

    Difficulty in expressing myself

    Hi, I am having an increasingly hard time in expressing myself, obviously i Self Harm I try soooo hard to curb the feelings but when i feel upset or angry its what i turn to.
    I know how i feel in my mind I just can't tell anyone, I really do want help, I want to help myself but i can't tell anyone i can't find the words. I am very emotionally unhappy but I live behind my happy "mask" I dont know what to do, i cry every night, but nobody knows, I dont even think i want people to know.I'm confused

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  3. #2

    Re: difficulty in expressing myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylie
    Hi, I am having an increasingly hard time in expressing myself, obviously i Self Harm I try soooo hard to curb the feelings but when i feel upset or angry its what i turn to.
    I know how i feel in my mind I just can't tell anyone, I really do want help, I want to help myself but i can't tell anyone i can't find the words. I am very emotionally unhappy but I live behind my happy "mask" I dont know what to do, i cry every night, but nobody knows, I dont even think i want people to know.I'm confused
    Hi Kylie :)

    It sounds to me like you've started expressing what you're going through, which shows that YES you DO want to talk about what all this is about for you ... more than you want people not to know. To sit and spin alone with this stuff sucks and talking is a step towards understanding what this is all about FOR YOURSELF so you can start getting some power over it (its obvious it bothers you a lot and makes you feel a sort of victim to this stuff.) Self harm ... needs to be understood, NOT judged by you or anyone else. It will lose its power as you gain yours through understanding and resolve whatever issues might be making you do these things.

    I talk as someone who has done suicide attempts (my heart was stopped before the time police got me to hospital - age 14) I've attempted other times. I used to be ashamed about my "weakness" but no more, as I understand much through "trying to understand" what this behavior is about for me in my life.

    Take care huh :) Don't judge yourself okay... simply evaluate to understand?

    Hugs ... Kanadaina
    Hugs from Kanadiana ...

  4. #3

    Re: difficulty in expressing myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Kanadiana
    Don't judge yourself okay... simply evaluate to understand?
    You're right on there. It might be extremely difficult but looking at yourself without judgement is very important in finding a solution.

    I understand what you're going through, kylie. I self-injure myself and I am still ashamed of doing so. I get not wanting to talk to people about it because most just don't understand. You will be understood here, though. Talk, talk, talk!

    I believe that it's key to track your moods. Don't let yourself get to the point where you have no alternative but to harm yourself. You need to get to the point where you know that it's building. My best outlet is writing. Poetry, songs. I do my best work when I am not quite right in the head. There must be something that can help you!

    *hugs*
    You are only as good as the company you keep.

  5. #4

    difficulty in expressing myself

    Talking to close friends or family can be difficult at times because we worry about being judged by those people or we don't want to "burden" them or we perhaps feel that they simply won't understand.

    I think that's when talking to a counsellor (or minister/priest sometimes) can help -- you don't have to worry about such things with a professional.

    Sometimes places like this, or support groups, can also help, because you'll find people who have been or are going through similar problems...

  6. #5

    difficulty in expressing myself

    thank you for replying, it's nice to know there are people who understand, i had a particularily bad day today and then had to go to work which didnt help any. I start back at uni soon, I really want to be alot happier but i know that hiding scars at home is difficlt it is going to be alot worse there, I fel like i dont know but just having to hide part of myself around people eats me up inside

  7. #6

    difficulty in expressing myself

    I really want to be alot happier but i know that hiding scars at home is difficlt it is going to be alot worse there, I fel like i dont know but just having to hide part of myself around people eats me up inside
    Hi Kylie :)
    I certainly know that having to "hide" things from the closest people to us, especially when we live with them every day, is really hard. Always having to put up a front and all :( Have you tried "testing the waters" so to speak? Like somehow casually having a general conversation about the topics and listening to any reactions/responses they might have? Just to open the subject up, but not the fact that you have these issues until you know better how they're likely to react?

    Meanwhile ... online, like in this forum, is a great way to start opening up for yourself, so many people are empathetic and really do understand. I find for myself that the more comfortable I get talking to other people safe to unload and share with, then it gets easier for me to know how to start opening up the subject or issues with the people I most need to talk to.

    I know your feelings about worrying how they'll react and feel ... which is why I wondered if testing the waters a bit first before disclosing anything about you would help? They can't hear and understand yet, or you don't know IF they will YET ... but in the interim, us people in here do right now. I'm glad you started opening up ...because I know the power of that to lighten the load and start finding some directions on where to go with everything to improve the quality of your life etc ... :)

    <hug>
    Hugs from Kanadiana ...

  8. #7

    difficulty in expressing myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylie
    I really want to be alot happier but i know that hiding scars at home is difficlt it is going to be alot worse there
    I totally understand that. I've found that summertime is the worst, of course. :-) At least at work it's easier for me to cover up and not have people ask questions. Too bad the scars don't make it any easier to stop doing, though!

    *hugs*
    You are only as good as the company you keep.

  9. #8

    difficulty in expressing myself

    Thanks, I guess I will just go with the flow right now so to speak, I know how I want me and my life to be it's just hard to put it into practice I suppose, thanks for all the advice though
    xx

  10. #9

    difficulty in expressing myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylie
    Thanks, I guess I will just go with the flow right now so to speak
    If "going with the flow" means taking it one step at a time and one day at a time, that's a pretty good way of approaching anything in life.

    Good luck, Kylie -- let us know how you're doing...

  11. #10

    difficulty in expressing myself

    I'm not doing great, no matter how happy I want to feel it never works that way, i feel so low , the past week I couldnt cry, it was like I am unhappy but there are no tears , today became so much, I have done nothing but cry for the past 2hours, and of course came home earlier and cut myself...I would help myself but I dont know how, I dont have the courage to talk about how I feel to anyone, I just want it all to go away

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