Question on upcoming rape anniversary

[NicNak]

Hi Jazzey. Regarding your appetite, are you able to have fluids? Maybe you can purchase some of those boost shakes if food is making you nauseous.

The only thing that keeps my nerves down is my clonazepam when I need it. Sorry not much help in that area.

You are in my thoughts Jazzey.

[Jazzey]

Thanks NN I do have clonazepam. But its duration is quite short - and I have to work...

[NicNak]

Thanks NN I do have clonazepam. But it's duration is quite short - and I have to work...

May I ask the tablet dosage Jazzey? Does the clonazepam make you very sleepy?

Is there a hot tub where your pool is? Sometimes a hot tub is nice and soothing to the body too. (I often find them too hot, but I hate heat) Or if you prefer, epson salts in a warm bath. There are some nice oatmeal bath powders that are quite soothing too.

Sorry just trying to think of things that have soothed me before. Kind of thinking out loud here.

[Jazzey]

Yes, the clonazepam completely makes me sleepy and dopey (very small dosage though - o.5mg) . And its effect on me right now may last about an hour (for the physical stuff).

But the bath idea is a good idea. I may give this a try tonight. If only it weren't so blistering hot here right now. But I like the idea of the bath with the epson salts - never occurred to me. Thank you NN.

[NicNak]

I also take the 0.5 Clonazepam. When I am having a panic attack it doesn't make me too sleepy, but if I take it for the sorta (for lack of a better word) jumpy anxiety it does.

I use to use Epson salts when I was strenght training at the gym. They worked well for me.

Hope it helps you out too Jazzey.

[TSOW]

As has been said, this happens to be only the anniversary of the event, not the event. Nevertheless, I can appreciate why it would be so difficult to face.

Is there a trusted person with whom you could spend this difficult time, rather than have to face it alone?

[Jazzey]

Thanks Steve. I do have friends who've offered. The difficulty is that it's very difficult for me to be around people right now, literally. My nerves feel as though they're raw and people around me, anywhere, only exacerbates this feeling.

It's funny, from the other side of this table, I would also suggest to be around people. But because of the physical symptoms, it's painful and I'm a little lost in my head. Being around people requires energy that I can't seem to muster right now.

All of this said without wanting to sound melodramatic. It's the best way I can describe the physical aspects of all of this. A close friend of mine told me today that she can feel the anxiety oozing out of my pores, and that my eyes were bugging out. (I can still smile about this).

It is the worst anniversary I'll have to face. My mind knows this and, in the grand scheme of things, I think I'm doing ok. But the physical aspects are exhausting and I didn't anticipate this...I just anticipated the mental anguish.

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I so wish I could say something helpful, but I can't , well yes I can in fact, which is not much use now.

The bad, bad anniversaries, go from a deep black through to a lighter and lighter shade of grey, they really do . anticipating the first one is the worst, and then you come out of it and breathe a deep sigh of relief. I cope by facing into it. I know I can't escape it.

It's a bit like concentrating hard on the pain of a toothache, this oddly enough makes it less painful.

[Jazzey]

Thanks WP. That's exactly it. And I do know this. I know that I'll come out of this little tunnel of mine. And from the other side, it won't look quite as dark as it does from this side. I've already done a big chunk of it...I can do the rest of it.

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