Nine Months & I'm Better & Now I'm Mad? I did not plan on wanting Justice now.

[HyperSight]

Hey All,

Usually these days I am doing well.

I Have worked very hard to figure out the Mechanisms associated with my latently amped up by
PTSD that I incurred from my Ex a gay man of

Narcissistic DID w/OCD Complex Overlay I have heard it termed.

Let's say that I know how to pick em. I found this long ago

"This Romeo Personality will thieve from you while you sleep. Ever starved for pretty objects, this Romeo jaunts through your life and home. Eventually with his arms full of inanimate delights he'll KICK open the door with your new boots to take flight, to be lost into the night laughing. Thinking of the next, whom he's already kissed."

PTSD
ADD-PI,
Dyslexia, DysGraphia, A layer of Autism or 2, LOL
Temporal Lobe Epilepsy,
& HyperGraphia with HyperFocus I use mostly...

for a Proof in a Situation Problem Resolution

I do a Transcription of what is like a Stream of Consciousness giving me the story from the begining with every last detail and as I go I grab more details.
It's really Me and My Psyche working together. Collaborating you might say. It's quite odd.

I find Patterns and follow stings which are leads to answers with more Patterns to make a Pattern Map eventually.

These are run over a period of hours with Autism cutting me off from environment for higher brain wave levels, possibly Theta. I assume yes because I seem to be made for this having a rarer double amped combo. I do resolve what I set out to do.

I've been happier after the worst year of my life. The most Exciting year of my life. The most memorable, frightening and REAL year I have ever had.

Earier in the Fall I had decided I had taken a path similar to Enlightenment. I am quite rational. I am spiritual in nature but I generally approach the Mechanism from a science perspective in that I would have myself be someday if I could a translator of Science to Spiritual.

It seems to be a wish among many things. I am not obsessive about any of them but I will say I do know what I am doing and quadruple check my ways. It's very complex to explain.

This mentioned as a basis for the complete me that I intend to go on as. Back to school into Psychology. I would help some of the more severe casdes. I have years of experience in different genres around mental illness and Disorder & Syndromes. Narcissism, Bi-Polar, Aspergers, ADHD-PI Mentor at times.

Often men in their 20's with drug issues.
Merely a friend big brother. I do not pretend to be a counselor yet. But there are many ADHD Gay men with addiction issues and no family that have support from. Cast out or abused. It's tragic because these men are very bright.

I may help these type of men. I do have an odd calling though also to help Socialize and teach...translate our world to Persons such as with NPD that undergo Mind Schism and exist with no Empathy. Some of these people have no desire to hurt anyone. I know that first hand.

I also know by first hand that others that merit the label of Sociopath as two of my ex's cannot be helped as they will never ever agree. One with a Disassociative personality has several Persona's one is terribly cruel. He did the worst and most frightening things.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT MYSELF THE LAST FOUR DAYS.
I have come so far after being abandoned by friends that did not understand disorders. Male on Mazle abuse, ADHD.

By myself even after my cash reserves were taken by this Monster. I made myself better and know the interactions of all my Disorders. I am feeling better. Normal even.

Crying at Christmas for the pain of people that have not called and I've no answers. I'm done crying over them. They can come apologize if they want. I've had peace since Christmas.

Sunday night after visiting other friends I get home and I see how nine months later I am still starting over. A year lost with him and now another lost. He's out there doing he does every 15 months to another man. usually cross country. But he made a mistake with me. Don't **** in your own back always comes to mind when I look at the picture of seven other men since 2000.

He emotional and severely so abused me daily for months after I started to become dependent. I trusted him foolishly to make decisions for me.

Now I suddenly want Justice. To talk to an attorney. I suppose because I am feeling normal and my real self is doing as it always would have. Yelled to the Village BEWARE.

What Can Any of You say to me. I did not expect this . I did not think I was holding back processing. But I guess I can see. I was concentrating on the disorders. Not the abuse. Is there anything a person can do legally.

Forget even the fact I lost my health insurance because of him and cannot get EEg's form the Epilepsy.

I want him to be forced into Therapy. That's all I can think of for days. I have not thought this was since the week I left and had four Seizures in five days afterwards associated with my Shock over the FlashBacks.

Please Somebody...I am not crying right now. Maybe tonight

Work to do today and I look forward to hearing New Friends as I will be gere often. A poster at ADD Forums for six months maybe also.

Randy, Sunset Beach, Ca

[Violet]

Hey welcome sorry you have had such a rough time. I hope you are getting therapy for you right now. That would be on the top of my list getting help to undue the harm done to you get healing for you okay. Glad your here.

[Jazzey]

HI HS,

I think some traumas take a longer amount of time to process and deal with. For me personally, there are ebbs and flows to it; some months go by and I feel normal, others I'm still dealing with flashbacks or nightmares. I think it also depends on what's going on in your life at that particular time. If I'm tired or stressed, I'm more easily susceptible to the symptoms of PTSD.

I think that you're doing a lot of things right: 1) staying with therapy; 2) talking to counsel about possibly laying charges or seeking some remedy against this man. But, I don't know how you could compel this man to seek therapy. Maybe if criminal charges were brought against him? And again, I say this without fully appreciating what really took place between the two of you....

Welcome to PL.