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  1. #1

    Where to begin getting help?

    Itís been 5 years and no one knows. I'm only 21 and I have been having heart problems, probably SVT, we donít know yet. This really scared me but obviously not enough to tell anyone about it, no even my doctor. First of all I donít want to be seen as a dysfunctional, out of control person, especially by my long term, serious boyfriend and his family. My family is in Europe so I'm very close with them. Second, I donít want everyone to not allow me to lose weight, even if itís the right way, I'm sure Ill still get crap if I lose weight. I donít want everyone following me in to the bathroom. Right now I want to try it alone, well, maybe by talking here where itís not so embarrassing. Where do I go from here?

  2. #2

    Where to begin getting help?

    First, start getting as much information as you can about the dangers of eating disorders. You've had a scare. Understand that this won't be the last one unless you make some significant changes, and that those changes might involve more than just changing what and how you eat.

    Start by reading some of the articles in this forum and what others who have struggled like you have learned, what has worked and not worked for them. Then have a look at and

    This is a start. But I also want you to think about this: Your heart problems have frightened you but still you say
    This really scared me but obviously not enough to tell anyone about it, no even my doctor... I donít want to be seen as a dysfunctional, out of control person
    Your doctor is bound by medical ethics and the law to keep your medical records confidential, so you can talk to him or her without your family even knowing, if you so choose. I'd also ask you to ask yourself this: Is not being embarassed worth being disabled or dying for?

  3. #3

    Where to begin getting help?

    This is stuff I have of coarse thought about, but it easier said then done. I did some research on SVT and bulimia is not a ďpopularĒ risk factor associated with the condition but irregular heart beats are associated with bulimia. Its happened more then once and Ive been to the doctor several times, in fact, my boyfriends dad is a doctor and witnessed one of these attacks. I guess I ignored it in the beginning because they thought it was stress related but ruled it out recently. Now I am going to the cardiologist to wear a heart monitor. When I got referred to the specialist is when it hit, its been a week and havenít done it all, and trust me I wanted to! It was a long weekend! I already mentioned why I donít want to tell people, I donít want them hounding me if I eat a light lunch or go to the gym, I still want to be thin, but feel like once this is out Ill never be able to without suspicions. Also, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and I'm scared heíll be mad I kept this from him for so long, I know its probably stupid to think that, heís very sweet and complimenting. Also, part of the reason I do it is because when I'm with him its really hard to eat healthy. We go out to dinners a lot or when we are visiting his family I have eat his mom cooking. Its really hard to say no to all the good stuff everyone is eating, also I never have my healthy foods at their homes, because duh, I donít live there. I donít want to tell him heís part of the problem.

  4. #4

    Where to begin getting help?

    I got weighed today for the first time in a long while, Iím the heaviest Iíve ever been, 118 (Iím 5'4") I feel like after telling I lost my right to be thin. I bought Winsor Pilates and Iíve been doing them at home, not excessively or anything, but theyíre fun. Why donít people ever suspect the skinny girls with good metabolisms?[/i]

  5. #5

    Where to begin getting help?

    By the way my heart monitor is driving me nuts, it itches like crazy!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    At home, most of the time.

    Where to begin getting help?

    Well, you are 5'4" and 118 pounds. That's a pretty healthy weight. I hope you get the help you need. Welcome to the forums.

  7. #7

    Where to begin getting help?

    I was at the nutritionist yesterday and she thinks that I actually have a pretty healthy dietÖ when I'm not doing it of coarse, but for two weeks I have to keep a food record and I'm not sure how it will effect me. This morning the breakfast list felt a little long, but I donít measure the values myself, I just write down what I eat and she calculates the nutritional values, which I'm glad for because I donít want to count calories!
    I will see my boyfriend for the first time this weekend since I told him and I'm a little nervous, I donít know how to act.

  8. #8

    Where to begin getting help?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonz
    I will see my boyfriend for the first time this weekend since I told him and I'm a little nervous, I donít know how to act.
    Just act like you... isn't that who he fell in love with? :o)

  9. #9

    Where to begin getting help?

    So my boyfriend just left a few hours ago and we both acted totally normal, like nothing ever happened. I donít know if this is weird or not. Heís definitely one of those people who wont press it if you donít want him to but I was sort of expecting him to talk to me about it. Especially since we went to our favorite breakfast place where we always share eggs benedict and a huge, buttery, cinnamony, apple pancake. You can guess what would happen after this extremely low fat meal so I figured he too would have put it together and said something about it. I guess I'm glad heís not watching me like a hawk but just expected something. We actually had a very fun and romantic day, lots of youíre so beautiful and sexy happening, more then usually, not that I'm complaining!! =)
    Today I felt like crap, the first time since I totally stopped, because I had my most favorite indulgence, buttery popcorn from the movie theater. It didnít last long and wasnít that strong but the feeling came back briefly none the less. I didnít do anything about it but it sure did conjure up thoughts about what all the fat was doing to me. I still have those thoughts, about where on my body the food I just ate is going to show up.

  10. #10

    Where to begin getting help?

    Courage isn't about not being afraid but about not letting yourself be stopped by the fear.

    Progress isn't about not slipping back down the hill a bit but about getting up again and continuing the climb.

    You're going to be okay, Sonz...

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