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Thread: Caught in a vicious circle

  1. #1

    Caught in a vicious circle

    I am in Sales, paid by commission only and am an independant distributor. I do not have coworkers, or a boss.

    I started selling what I sell about a year ago. I sell exclusevly to businesses.

    When I first started this business my life was in the toilet.
    1. Going through a foreclosure.
    2. Going Blind.
    3. Brain Surgery.
    4. Bankruptcy
    5. Lost my business.
    6. Reposession of car
    7. Completely broke (going blind...cant work)
    8. Being sued by 3 different creditors

    ...and not to mention very depressed.

    I spend a lot of time going door to door and telemarketing to set up appointments. Due to being depressed and broke I had a hard to getting into the proper attitude to persuade people to buy from me. So I hear a lot of No's NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON

    Which made me even more depressed. which means even more inefective sales. (by the way I'm still broke, now just more depressed than ever)

    In the mean time I feel awful and spend less time prospecting...going door to door and telemarketing.

    Which only adds to the depression.

    At this point I am very frustrated, depressed and in depsair. I have a ton of bills due and cant seem to get even one person to even treat me like a human let alone write me a check.

    I know it is all because of my attitude. I EXUDE negativety.

    the cycle looks like this.

    1. I suck at sales...(I think to myself)
    2. I make 100 telemarketing calls and get nothing.
    3. I was right I really suck at sales.
    4. Now I am even broker and more depressed.
    5. "I have bills due I have to sell something."
    6. I make 30 door to door calls and sell nothing. (Now with really bad attitude and storm cloud over my head)
    7. "I hate my life and sales."
    and on and on

    I want to break out of this rut.

    How do I get my attitude right long enough to sell something and give my confidence the boost it needs?
    I feel like If I could just have 1 good day it could get me over the hump financially.

    Please Help!
    Rich

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  3. #2

    caught in a vicious circle

    The first thing that comes to mind is why are you in sales? It seems to me that's the kind of work where you need to be pretty thick-skinned, self-confident, and optimistic... sort of the opposite of depressed.

    Have you done anything else in the past? Can you think of anything you might be able to work at which would be less destructive for you?

  4. #3

    Good Question

    I have chosen sales because I want to own my own business, be independant and build a residual income stream.

    I have tried to work for other people before but end up having an ambition seizure and quiting to start my own business. I have done this a couple of times.

    I am not ready to give up on this yet, I want this to work. I never expected this to be easy.

    I am not just looking to have a job and make enough money to cover my bills.

    I am trying to build something self sustaining.

    I am very ambitious and independant.

  5. #4

    caught in a vicious circle

    Okay. But my comment was that battling depression while in sales is a bit of an uphill battle. What you need rather desperately, it seems to me, is some assistance in cognitive reframing (i.e., cognitive behavior therapy or CBT).

    Have a look at one of the David Burns books referenced in the Resources section (see http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1067).

  6. #5

    Sounds good

    Thank you for the suggested reading...I am a reader and will pick it up.

    However...

    Do you have any suggestions for me that I can implement immediately?

  7. #6

    caught in a vicious circle

    The procedures for cognitive reframing / cognitive restructuring are outlined in Burns' books, but basically involve identifying the thoughts that accompany the depressed feelings, which you have already done to some extent, and then challenging them.

    For example:

    1. I suck at sales...(I think to myself)
    Why do you say that? What evidence is there that it's true? What evidence is there that it's false? What evidence is there that anyone else would be doing any better at that location with that product? etc.

    2. I make 100 telemarketing calls and get nothing.
    3. I was right I really suck at sales.
    That ratio of calls to actual sales probably isn't unusual. Most people (me for example) don't buy ANYTHING from telemarketers -- I don't want them calling me and therefore I don't want to end up on a list that says, "Hey! Here's a mark... everyone call him!" -- for the same reason, I don't buy anything from spam emails. Therefore, the problem is not that you suck at sales -- the problem is that you are engaging in a type of sales that irritates or angers many people and therefore a sales method that is unlikely to yield you a high ratio of successes to failures. The method sucks, not you.

    6. I make 30 door to door calls and sell nothing. (Now with really bad attitude and storm cloud over my head)
    If there is one type of salesman hated even more than telemarketers, it's probably door-to-door salesmen. See above.

    7. "I hate my life and sales."
    If you truly hate it, why are you doing it? Don't accept the answer you gave me in your earlier post. Challenge your thinking here -- if you want to be in sales, maybe you need a different sales model. Or... maybe you shouldn't be in sales.

  8. #7

    Diabetes

    I started this thread a few months ago.

    I just found out that I am diabetic about a week ago.

    What if anything could this have to do with my problems with being emotionally strong enought to face rejecetion?

    Apparently this has been onset for about he last 5 years.

    I also had brain surgery to remove a pituitary tumor the size of a golf ball about 1.5 years ago.

    My doctor tells me this helped along the diabets greatly.

    My doctor has put me on meds to control the diabetes and I have been testing my blood sugar for 3 days. I think I am starting to feel better but it is really to early to know for sure.

    Currious if anybody has any experience with sales and diabetes.

    I have been suicidal for about the last year. Since I had my brain surgery. I have had a really hard time working and making money.
    I am going to find someome to talk to about this.

    Just hopeing there is someone out there who knows what I am going through and can give me some encouraging words

  9. #8

    caught in a vicious circle

    I would say it definitely could have something to do with being emotionally strong. How you feel physically, and even if there is a problem that hasn't manifested itself yet, has a huge impact on emotional well being. I am glad that you are going to find someone to talk to and especially glad that you are getting the diabetes treated.

    I hope that you begin to feel much better soon.

  10. #9

    caught in a vicious circle

    Diabetes, in and of itself, mucks with your emotions by fouling up your chemical system. It's much harder for a diabetic person to fight back because their chemical systems are in chaos. You might find that, as your diabetes is brought under control, you are better able to identify and deal with the emotional problems that are plaguing you. Many do. :)

  11. #10

    caught in a vicious circle

    Thanks for the encouragement. I am already starting to feel better after a week of taking my meds and I have started to lose weight too. Looking foward to seeing how everything plays out.

    Rich

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