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Thread: Hi everyone!

  1. #1

    Hi everyone!

    Hi, my name is Linda, I just turned 50 <eeekk....j/k...well, sort of)...I reside in Northern California, am single, medically retired from state service, but work part time for various temp agencies.

    I have a son and stepdaughter, both grown and between the two of them 5 beautiful grandkids.

    I lost my stepson in May and my mom in Feb. Prior to my mom's demise, and quite a number of years back, I lost two sisters and my dad. As for immediate family members, I'm pretty much it. I feel like a fish out of water.........if that makes any sense.......not quite sure where I belong.....or even where I'm at lol for that matter.......Okkkk, more than enough about me .......

    Anyway, I really don't recall how I found this site .......but am firm believer that things happen for a reason and there are no coincidences.

    I'm happy to be here and look forward to chatting and getting to know all of you.

  2. #2

    Hi everyone!

    Welcome!

    :)

  3. #3

    Hi everyone!

    Hi, Linda...

    When you're ready, tell us a bit more about that "fish out of water" thing... do you mean you don't have a sense of direction at this point in your life?

  4. Hi everyone!

    Welcome, Linda! I know you will find this site extremely helpful and interesting. Have a good look around and I look forward to seeing you in some of our forums!

    Anna

  5. Hi everyone!

    Welcome Linda! Glad you're here. Soon you will be too.

    Sheila T

  6. #6

    Hi everyone!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Baxter
    Hi, Linda...

    When you're ready, tell us a bit more about that "fish out of water" thing... do you mean you don't have a sense of direction at this point in your life?

    Hi Dr. Baxter,

    I mean when my sister(s) died, (my olders sister and I were like twins and inseparable, even with an eight year difference), ...I still had my parents and when my father died, I still had my mom ......and then my mom died, and stepson and I look around and my family is gone. When you lose someone close that you love, your world as you knew it, is never the same. I have never felt more alone and isolated in my entire life - and that's something coming from one who has always been pretty much a loner...I feel like I'm just floating out in space and there is not another living soul around.....I miss my family very much and just feel very lost without them.

  7. #7

    Hi everyone!

    Linda:

    See your Private Message Inbox...

  8. #8

    Re: Hi everyone!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cybil2U
    Hi, my name is Linda, I just turned 50 <eeekk....j/k...well, sort of)...

    I lost my stepson in May and my mom in Feb. Prior to my mom's demise, and quite a number of years back, I lost two sisters and my dad. As for immediate family members, I'm pretty much it. I feel like a fish out of water.........if that makes any sense.......not quite sure where I belong.....or even where I'm at lol for that matter.......Okkkk, more than enough about me ........
    Hi Linda,

    I think I know some of the feelings your dealing with. Kinda like mega-empty-nest syndrome and grieving the losses and changes and wondering... 'Who the hell am I NOW and how do I go on?" Like a lost fish at sea.

    I've gone through similar losses ... and when they hit home its like we don't know how to exist outside of the roles we had with our loved ones. :( We miss them so much and currently haven't filled those gaps left behind.

    I find that talking about my feelings and things has helped a lot. No one can ever replace these people, or fill their shoes, but we still need to learn how to fill the needs we can, without them.

    I've found it really helps me to be working on a family history, family tree ... (unless its still too hurting to do this) I've come to terms with losing so many people and its nice to learn more about them and their lives. My parents. (I'm an orphan now too and that really is a bereft feeling for me sometimes. Learning about their histories helps me understand them better, even if they're gone.) My Mom's side, have all passed on.

    My sisters and cousins are now the eldest generation of Moms side left. My eldest sister has just been diagnosed with lung cancer... so ... our generation is now leaving us as well.

    It brings me a lot of peace to find my family's "stories" ... and share them with us that are left. Good bad or indifferent, family history is family history. I cry, yes. Long for them, yes. But just because they're gone doesn't mean my relationship with them is over or unfulfilling somehow.

    I "feel" them ... :) (and when I getto the other side,boy am I going to give my Mom and Dad hell for some stuff... but after I tell them I love them and thanks )

    We all get through thse things in our own ways hey?

    hugs ...
    Hugs from Kanadiana ...

  9. #9

    Hi everyone!

    Hi there!

    Yes, that is exactly how I feel - like Humpty Dumpty who fell off the wall - only the wall came tumbling down too. I tell my son some of my feelings, however, he was very close to my mom and dad and I see his eyes begin to get watery and also he trys to help me but doesnt quite know what to do and it hurts him to see me hurting. I have friends but none that are "close" and my two best girlfriends and also co-workers turned their back on me for future promotions (I was blackballed at my former place of employment after 20 yrs [I told the truth - silly me!]). Thanks so much for writing - I appreciate it ;-)

  10. #10

    Hi everyone!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cybil2U
    Hi there!

    Yes, that is exactly how I feel - like Humpty Dumpty who fell off the wall - only the wall came tumbling down too. I tell my son some of my feelings, however, he was very close to my mom and dad and I see his eyes begin to get watery and also he trys to help me but doesnt quite know what to do and it hurts him to see me hurting. I have friends but none that are "close" and my two best girlfriends and also co-workers turned their back on me for future promotions (I was blackballed at my former place of employment after 20 yrs [I told the truth - silly me!]). Thanks so much for writing - I appreciate it ;-)
    I thought I understood LOL and you say it precisely about the walls coming down too. Its like the roles we filled no longer exist and all of a sudden we're left with all these usual impulses and no where to do them, no one to receive (or give to) Thats where learning more about their lives helped me. The crying was good too ... just acknowledging the missing and why.

    Did I mention I'm 50 as well??? EEK Getting to look more like my Mom and Granny every day ... the wrinkles and stuff LOL Wanna whine about all the joys of turning 50? LOL Actually, there are lots of perks and freedoms from pressures along with all the transitions that come. I can dig that!

    That must be such a blow about the job and friends. You must feel really betrayed :( Sounds like a "shoot the messenger" trip.

    I hope you find this a good place to express some stuff and start finding some solid new fulfilments to start building on ... Humpty can and does get put back together in this case... just a little differently is all. Time ...

    I know th "lost" feeling very well. Horribly uncomfortable to exprience ... but it does ease off as things start growing again.

    Til next time ... Kanadiana :)
    Hugs from Kanadiana ...

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