Thanks Thanks:  6
Likes Likes:  8
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 19 of 19
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    36,653
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    That sounds like a dangerous mix for any home environment.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    38
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    He presented himself as always taking care of others, making monetary donations to causes dear to him. He presented himself as always giving back to people who helped him along the way. He remembers their birthdays, anniversaries, etc. But if he thinks about people he's known that are always taking, he works himself into a fury, lamenting about EVERY thing or bad decision he's ever made. Thank you, David and MHealthJo for your comments.

    ---------- Post Merged at 07:51 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 02:01 AM ----------

    Thank you MHealthJo for your comment and David, you are right about getting legal counsel. But he controls all the money, reviewing every purchase I make. I have to call him and give him the merchants names, dates and dollar amounts. This is for the sake of verifying legitimate purchases on the charge card...making sure unknown charges do not slip by...so he says. While he, on the sly, opens secret credit card/ATM accounts. After I caught him, him he said he needed to open charge card because he never buys anything for himself...this explanation doesn't even make sense, does it. Opening a secret account because he never buys anything for himself? Absurd.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    38
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    I know there is a way to ask the same question in multiple ways to catch someone in a lie. Can anyone give me an example how to do this Thank you!
    Laj

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    36,653
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    Do you really need to do that at this point? Is there anything to be gained?

    Even if you are successful, he will just turn on you in anger and make it all about how it was your fault. It will always be your fault somehow.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    38
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    David, thank you for being a friend for over 10 years! You've helped me through so many difficult life situations. I felt very isolated until I found you and this website. I am not out of the woods yet but you have shown me different paths to take. Just validating and responding to my calls for help has kept me sane.

    ---------- Post Merged at 06:05 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 05:41 AM ----------

    You are so right. He is quite an act to watch getting out of sticky situations without missing a heartbeat. Very clever.

    ---------- Post Merged at 06:27 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 06:05 AM ----------

    Do you know what's ironic? He admires people with outstanding qualities... educated, generous, kind, good sense of humor, adventurous, honest.(What attracted me to him). He prides himself in having these people as friends. Yet, his "private life" is one of secrets and lies.
    I must tell you. Even when we are at home, going on errands, I have to ask him where we are going that day. He gets aggravated because I asked. His answer is I have things I have to do. "But where are we going so I can plan what I need to get too!" I feel like a fool getting into the car not knowing where we are going! This is not an isolated occurrence. This is every time we run errands. Has anyone ever heard of such a person?
    Laj

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    36,653
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    He is controlling and abusive. It's all about what he wants, not about you. His objective is to keep you off balance.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    38
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    It is exactly all about what he wants. He had been single all his life until he married (me) at age 59. He was medically retired (physical) in his early 40's and has been doing pretty much whatever he's wanted. He has been his own boss. I think he doesn't like having to be accountable for anything or to anyone! I really don't know why he thought he needed to be married, unless it was to combine incomes. Who knows?!
    His explosions are unexpected because the events "leading" up to it are inconsequential, minor, insignificant. His lamenting doesn't stop until he has exhausted himself. Then he acts as if nothing happened. While I am a wreck. Yep, pretty unhealthy.
    You're right, David. It will always be my fault. And it does keep me off balance in all of our conversations. Now, I always let him take the lead because I never know what will set him off. And the energy exerted is not worth it. Any come-back quips when he starts his tirade? I've already told him to quit acting like a brat....and you know what that started...whew. He is the poster picture of "Entitlement"...
    Laj

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    36,653
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    Come back quips would probably further enrage him, escalating the situation, which could be unsafe.

    Better to just walk away. Don't go down to his level.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    38
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Compulsive Lying

    I have been quiet and reflective during his tirades. Per your sage advice I concur with you to continue to remain calm.
    Laj

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Disclaimer: PsychLinks is not responsible for the content of posts or comments by forum members.

Additional Forum Web Design by PsychLinks
© All rights reserved.