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Thread: Finding hope
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December 29th, 2004, 11:54 AM #1
Finding hope
What are some things that a person can do when it is hard to see that there is any hope for a future?
If you're in a bad situation and you can't see any way out of it how can you make the most of the situation that you're in?
I guess I'm thinking of little things that one could do.
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December 29th, 2004, 12:21 PM #2
Finding hope
One way to evaluate the real seriousness of a situation, to me, is to ask oneself "What difference will the outcome of this make to my life in two weeks?". Asking this question, and answering it honestly, will quickly identify those situations that are temporary and will not have any lasting negative effects. If, however, the answer is "If this situation continues as it is, I will continue to suffer as I am suffering now.", you've identified a problem that needs to be dealt with quickly and effectively.
A good example of the first situation is a person who has, in a fit of pique, cut their own hair and now looks like Dracula's grandmother. Hair grows. In two weeks, the hideous problem will have disappeared.
A good example of the second situation is a person who lives with someone who denigrates them constantly, preying on their self-esteem, destroying their dignity, and feeding off their misery like some giant, slimy leech. This situation is not going to be rectified in two weeks unless somebody does something about it now. It's only going to get worse.
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December 29th, 2004, 12:25 PM #3
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Finding hope
This may be simplistic but when I'm feeling really despondent I go to the library. I feel better in a library. Other things I might do:
--- buy myself a small gift.
--- read.
--- talk to a friend.
--- call my therp.
--- tell myself "this too shall pass," or "I won't let this ruin my day." I.e., stay in the present moment.
nutmeg
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December 29th, 2004, 02:55 PM #4
Finding hope
Originally Posted by ThatLady
Nutmeg, I like the library idea. There is something comforting and safe about a library.
Some of the things I used to do where:
Take pictures
Read
Work on this wooden dollhouse that I've been working on for years, seems kind of silly now as it can never be used for its intended purpose
clean
paint my toenails weird, glittery colors
pet my dog and cats
play computer games
go for a walk
I would like to have some friends. I'm too weird and reclusive though.
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December 29th, 2004, 03:15 PM #5
Finding hope
Believing that you don't deserve constant denigration is as easy as asking yourself: "Would I do that to somebody else, knowing how it hurts?". I think you've found, by posting here, that none of us believe you deserve this. Sooo, you wouldn't do it to someone else (You've said you wouldn't in the past), and none of us would do it to someone else, nor do we believe you deserve it. Looks like pretty darned good evidence to me. ;)
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December 29th, 2004, 05:06 PM #6
Finding hope
There is just so much inconsistancy in my life, my whole life. Just when I think I have found the secret to make my family love me, the rules change and it's just back to what feels like them hating me. I don't think they really do hate me, but there is just a lot of hurt.
I have tried to treat people well. I don't think it's ever enough though.
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December 29th, 2004, 05:33 PM #7
Finding hope
If every time you think you've found the secret to family harmony "somebody" changes the rules, might it be possible that "somebody" wants to keep you on a slippery slope?
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December 29th, 2004, 07:43 PM #8
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Finding hope
Originally Posted by janetr
I would like to have some friends. I'm too weird and reclusive though.
The things you used to do sound really good. I hope you can do some of them again.
nutmeg
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December 30th, 2004, 12:51 PM #9
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Hope is found through sharing NOT by searching...
I believe strongly that Hope is found through sharing NOT by searching.... Let me try to explain what I mean by that.
When I was a child I was loved and well cared for. I was the child every parent wanted - clean, smart, always said "I'd be happy to.." whenever asked to do something. Then I became a teenager and grew my own brain and something started changing. My mom & I fought a lot and eventually at 17 I was kicked out. My life went way down hill from there, but that is another story.
After some time of climbing back up from the bottom of lifes pits, I returned to my family to find that I would not be treated the same anymore. I was now an outsider who was allowed to be with the family. This hurt and went on for some time. I always HOPED that this would change and they would treat me the way they once did. Eventually I discovered the truth that was in front of me the whole time but never saw.
My family blamed themselves for what happened with me and having me around was a reminder of their weakness. I approached my parents and told them how I felt. I told them that I forgave them and asked their forgiveness for any pain I had caused them. The healing began and now just a few years later we are all strong family again.
If you're in a bad situation and you can't see any way out of it how can you make the most of the situation that you're in?[
I was once bottomed out, depressed, suicidal, etc. The thing that pulled me out the most and makes life exciting to me, is through sharing my experiences and time to help others achieve the same.
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December 30th, 2004, 01:37 PM #10
Re: Hope is found through sharing NOT by searching...
Originally Posted by Jon
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