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  1. #1

    I don't think I'm cut out to be myself

    Another teengager here. ... If you're still reading this, then I'm greatly honored by your commitment. So anyway, all my life people have been telling me I'm smart, my parents telling me I'm so good at everything I pursue, yatta yatta. I'm a late bloomer, and it's only just now starting to occur to me I'm not. I was never any good at sports, no one tried to hide that from me. I've had friends all throughout my life, and I wish I had stuck with some of my better friends, but now that I'm the dumb kid in the smart classes, the only people I see all day are people who are smarter than me. I'm fine with being average, but not being lonely.

    It's just all coming at me at once. I've lived such a carefree life up to this point it's just hard to deal with it all. I'm not good at anything, my dreams are crushed, and I have no friends. And why does it always seem like there's some party going on that I wasn't invited to? Probably because there usually is...

    I don't cut myself. I refuse to do anything self-destructive. In that respect, I'm not really a very serious case. But I'm lonely, sad, and lost. It feels like it's been so long since I've had fun. I cry a lot. And I never used to.

    I'm not posting here cause I'm leaning over the edge. It's only because I've read through a lot of these posts and I think there's a lot of people here that have some great things to share. I've learned a lot already. So please, any advice for a lost kid?

  2. #2

    Re: I don't think I'm cut out to be myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by otaorc
    I don't cut myself. I refuse to do anything self-destructive. In that respect, I'm not really a very serious case. But I'm lonely, sad, and lost. It feels like it's been so long since I've had fun. I cry a lot. And I never used to.
    This to me sounds like it could be depression and it is serious because it makes everything harder than it has to be. Have you talked to your parents about this?

    What types of things used to be fun to you? To me, when you stop having fun or the things you used to enjoy stop being enjoyable then that's a problem.

    Also just want to welcome you here. It's a good place and I'm sure someone else will be along soon with some good advice.

  3. #3

    I don't think I'm cut out to be myself.

    Tell us a little bit more about yourself, if you will, otaorc. How old are you? What grade are you in? How long have you been feeling lonely and left out of things...and, apparently, like a stranger in your own body? Are there things you enjoy doing? How about things you really hate to do?

    A little history and some general details will help us a great deal. Then, perhaps, we can be of more help to you.

    Glad to have you with us! Welcome! :o)

  4. #4

    I don't think I'm cut out to be myself.

    I'm 17, and a Junior in high school. Currently, I don't really have any hobbies. I used to be really into the card game, Magic, but I stopped playing that about a year ago. I do art, but basically just for the hell of it, cause I'm not very good and at the same time not very creative. I run Cross Country and Track, but am on my off season as of now. I don't like to run in the cold.

    One thing I really like is old RPG's, like Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VII. One thing I really dislike is new RPG's, like World of Warcraft. That's one thing I've been finding a lot lately, is that everything just seemed so much better back when I was in junior high. Back then, I would play Magic or whatever and just have fun and nothing seemed to matter except that. Now it's just not the same. No one seems to want to have fun anymore.

    Sometimes I really think I just had an unusually good time in junior high, almost like I was oblivious to all the responsibilities I was soon going to have to face. But now everything's changed.

  5. #5

    I don't think I'm cut out to be myself.

    otaorc,

    It's not easy to be in high school and feel friendless. I can only imagine how tormented you must feel a lot of the time. And your parents don't seem to "get it" because they just give you reassurances that are meaningless to you. You may be grieving the loss of junior high school, for which you have a lot of nostalgia. And nothing seems interesting and it all seems lifeless and empty.

    Is there any way you can make just one friend? I don't think you need more than 1-2 friends. I wasn't invited to 99% of parties because I was a "goody-good" with strict parents. Anyway, I liked European history, renaissance music, and great paintings. So I was friends with two girls who liked similar things. They were smarter and prettier than I. But they still had me as a friend. Is there anyone at all in your school...? Maybe someone else with nostalgia for the older computer games?

    nutmeg

  6. #6

    I don't think I'm cut out to be myself.

    Thanks so much for trying to help. This whole thing really means a lot to me.

    Yes, there are a couple people I might consider trying to be friends with. This would probably help me a lot. I'll try to start from there, anyway.

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