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  1. Where to start looking for help.

    Hi everyone,

    I'm a 35 year old white male. I have, for as long as I can remember, believed that there is something wrong with me. I'm an ex-nurse (psychiatry) and believe that I have a personality difficulty / disorder. I was recently assessed for Asperger's Syndrome (my son has it) and came up negative but the psychologist felt I had PD and AS traits. I have looked for help on several occasions over the past 10 years but have not stuck with any of them for varying reasons. (Most probably because I never stick to anything!!) I have never been as down as I am right now, my marriage is on the rocks, my business is not doing well, my kids need a more effective father and I would like to be happy for a while. I have a permanent passive death wish but no desire to carry it out. Just wish I'd be hit by a bus or something. I don't know where to start looking for answers. I'm not in Canada BTW and the health services in my own country are severely lacking anything beyond the basics in psychiatry/psychology. Comments questions etc. all gratefully received.

  2. #2

    Where to start looking for help.

    CW: Can you describe some of the symptoms that lead you and/or the psychologist to believe you have "PD and AS traits"?

    Also, if you'd like to send me a Private Message indicating what part of Canada you're in, I may be able to give you some pointers to other resources that may be helpful. I assume from what you've already posted that finances are limited.

  3. Where to start looking for help.

    What country do you live in, seedubya? That might help us to research possible help for you. :o)

    It sounds like you really need some help. It's difficult, I know, to find that you've reached your mid-thirties and are still trying to cope with emotional problems that are wreaking havoc on your life. Yet, there's a good side to it. By the time we've reached that age, we have developed a few skills we didn't have when we were in our teens and twenties, simply through the process of osmosis. Those skills can be used to help ourselves, if we're determined enough to do so.

    Glad you found us. Keep posting and tell us more about yourself.

  4. #4

    Where to start looking for help.

    ThatLady, he said he lives in Canada...

  5. #5

    Where to start looking for help.

    I believe that by "I'm not in Canada BTW" he meant "I'm not in Canada by the way," not BTW being some part of Canada.

  6. Where to start looking for help.

    Thank you both for replying. Just to clarify, I'm definitely NOT in Canada.

    With regard to symptoms:
    It's hard to describe symptoms in writing. I do so much better verbally. However, here goes, and please bear with me if this rambles.
    I don't have low self-esteem, I have none at all.
    I believe firmly that I am a bad/evil/wrong person.
    I don't form relationships, those I do form I don't maintain. I have no friends.
    I am utterly unable to finish anything I start unless the duration is extremely short.
    My self-talk is very negative.
    I have difficulty concentrating and focussing on tasks, conversations.
    I find it very difficult to have "feeling" conversations with the people I love. I manage just fine with strangers.
    I appear to have mood swings but of very short duration and very often.
    I believe that I don't feel the full range of emotions that other people feel or to the same intensity.

    These are just some things that come to mind immediately. I will flesh them out as I go along. Of all the above my inablilty to focus and finish is the most problematic as it precludes any success in anything, including getting help for myself. I can just see myself getting some help with that particular problem but not actually going the full distance :)

    seedubya

  7. #7

    Where to start looking for help.

    LOL. My apologies, TL... :o)

    It's like that trick with the double "the" words. I swear I went back and read that twice and never noticed the word "not" until your post.

  8. Where to start looking for help.

    Do you mean
    Paris is the
    the spring.

  9. Where to start looking for help.

    Quote Originally Posted by David Baxter
    LOL. My apologies, TL... :o)

    It's like that trick with the double "the" words. I swear I went back and read that twice and never noticed the word "not" until your post.
    No problem, Dr. Baxter. I do that kind of thing all the time. Even worse, I'll read a word as one thing when it's actually quite another. That can be very embarrassing. ;o)

  10. #10

    Where to start looking for help.

    Of all the above my inablilty to focus and finish is the most problematic as it precludes any success in anything, including getting help for myself.
    This has been my biggest problem as well. Sometimes, I have no problems at all concentrating. Other days, concentration and energy are lacking and my mind may feel like mashed potatoes.

    So, to compensate, I spread out my tasks over the entire day and night. For example, at my last job, I was able to take work home, so I would catch up on work during the weekends and evenings.

    To keep up my motivation, I would sometimes rent DVD movies and do my work between movie scenes. Ironically, listening to music while doing a task actually helps my concentration by keeping me motivated.

    However, I don't have many responsibilities, and my only dependents are a dog and a cat.
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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