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  1. #1

    Effects of social environment


    I have a friend (female), which seems to feel awkard, while being in presence of people, which are more carismatic than her. When I talk to her, she is all smiling, but I noticed that she has trouble adapting to the situation.
    I made some reasoning why this is so and observed that her other friends, with which she spends most of the time, are far less talkative/carismatic than her. I believe that she got used to this social environment and any person which shows a bigger difference regarding carisma, causes her an unpleasant feeling. What is your opinion on this?

    Thanks for reading,

  2. #2

    Effects of social environment

    I'm not sure I understand what you think charisma has to do with it or why you conclude she is uncomfortable.

    I probably talk more around people who are quieter and less talkative and listen more around people who are chattier (or depending on the situation I might ask leading questions in an effort to try to help them talk a bit more, if they seem to be uneasy or shy) -- that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me feeling uncomfortable.

    What is it you see that makes you think she's "awkward"?

  3. #3

    Effects of social environment

    She seems to be happier when I allow or help her to take a dominant position in the discussion. This is why I conclude that she has a problem with charismatic persons, who express themselves a wider spectrum of emotions and who take a stronger grip on the discussion. It is just my feeling and I am completely unsure about this.

  4. #4

    Effects of social environment

    All right -- I'm not trying to be difficult here but what do you mean by "happier"? What is it you're seeing?

    Maybe it's more that when you back off a little you're giving her more of a chance to talk herself?

    My point is that conversation is an interactive thing -- you sometimes need to give people room to talk but that's not necessarily an indication of social anxiety or anything like that.

  5. #5

    Effects of social environment

    She seems to feel more comfortable when she leads the conversation. It's not like I am stopping here from talking or that I am talking all the time, not giving her the chance to express herself. She seems to be more comfortable when she is in a leading dominant role. She smiles more (and it is not an evil grin, it's the kind of smile you show when you are pleased) and seems to be a bit more enthusiastic.

    I'm not trying to be difficult here
    I am very thankful for your replies.



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