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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Introducing me !

    Hi all,

    I'm glad I found this site & hope it helps & that I can help some of you in some way. I'm 26 & from the UK, very confused about what's going on with me lol. I've had Depression since I was 14, 12 years now. That's the youngest I can remember feeling this way. I got diagnosed, well started on meds in August 1999 by my GP. I still feel i've come no further since then. I was referred to the practice counsellor for counselling & had three sessions & gave up, it didn't feel like we clicked, felt weird. I had a two session assessment with the Community Mental Health Team when I was living down south, a Trainee Clinical Psychologist did it, but I never got to hear what she thought. I've had two assessments with Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapists at Mental Health Units to see if CBT will help, my GP doesn't seem to think it will. Right now i'm with The Crisis Resolution & Home Treatment Service (Crisis Resolution Team) & they send a Psychiatric Nurse to see me, i've been with them for 2 weeks now & they were coming every day, now every other day & they have 24/7 phone support too. I got referred to them when I ended up at the PCT (Primary Care Trust) at the Hospital. I'd decided to OD & didn't wanna die really, but knew i'd do it, so I asked for help & if I hadn't got it i'd have given up. Anyhow, the Nurses feel I may have Borderline Personality Disorder, they did think maybe Bi Polar but my moods shift too quick. I'm seeing a Senior House Officer (Psychiatrist) for the first time on 28th April. Right now i'm on 150mg a day of Efexor XL, have been on them 8 months & while i'm better on them I still get serious depressed bouts. Have been on Celexa & Seroxat too in the past. I dunno what's wrong, if anything. Sometimes I even doubt I have Depression. I can feel normal, tho when I feel normal I'm not happy & can't get excited about things really. Then I get short depressed bouts which make me wanna die & are very scary, then sometimes i'm ok, go to work alot, exercise too much, feel positive. The Psychiatrist is my last hope, right now I feel normal & can't believe the severity of my downs. I'm so confused & just want help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
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    Introducing me !

    I can understand why you feel discouraged, Desire, given the number of people you've seen and the length of time you've been struggling with all this.

    However, don't give up yet, even if you don't click with this particular psychiatrist. It doesn't sound as if you've had any consistent treatment yet, other than medications and I'm not sure about how well those have been matched to your symptoms. For example, if you are experiencing depressive periods as intense as you describe, I'm not sure 150 mg of Effexor XR is sufficient, especially if there are questions about either bipolar disorder or borderline P.D.

    The main thing I want you to know is that it may take time to find the right therapist and the right medication but once you do you do have a better future to look forward to...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Toronto ON
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    Introducing me !

    A warm welcome to you, Desire.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Introducing me !

    Welcome, Desire. Sounds like you've been having quite a time of it. Hopefully, we can provide an understanding ear. Hugs,hon. :o)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Introducing me !

    Hi all,

    Thanks for the welcome, it's good to be here. I've got 5 sides of A4 size paper listing all my symptoms for this Psychiatrist, but I kinda feel he'll just say here's another prescription for Venlafaxine. I dunno what it is with me & Antidepressants, but they only take the edge off it, they don't stop me getting really down, as in 2 weeks ago when I was gonna OD if I didn't get help. I wanna try some CBT or Psychotherapy desperately, I really think it's something I need. I have no idea why i'm like I am, there's no family history of anything & I had a normal childhood until age 14. Have never been abused etc. I'm sure I don't need to say how messed up I get, one minute like now I feel normal, and it's hard to believe I ever get depressed. Then the next minute I can be wanting to die & in a real bad way. I currently live with a housemate, my ex, but only until August. I think he only stayed so long cause of my illness, we've been split up 22 months now. I dunno how i'll cope when he goes, I can't handle money at all. Anyway enough of my moaning, hope ya all ok, going to look around the site tc all xxx

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