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  1. Hello all...........

    Hello everyone....

    I question who I am everyday as I never know what the day is going to hold for me. I am a mother of two beautiful little people who are quite busy.

    They say that everyone has skeletons in their closet, I am amongst them. I come from a family where my father was/is a weekend alcoholic. He would not drink during the week and held down a full time job and retired recently. I had the hardest time leaving home because I was always there to protect my mother. He would be verbally abusive and sometimes physical (more from putting me in my room). I find it so hard to show emotion because living at home, it was not something I readily did. Out of all my siblings I was the one who stood up to him, to this day I still do. It has affected me to the point where I do not drink because I do not want to be anything like him. Nor do I like being around people who have. It is so funny because when I was younger I was such a wall flower. Knew many people but was always the person in the corner who did not say much or people thought I was shy.

    Where does that bring me, to present day. I married a man who was not an alcoholic, but has tried to commit suicide. If it were not for someone finding him he would not be here. He thinks about it on occasion, I mean the suicide part when he becomes depressed. The said part is, he is quite intelligent. He has taken courses on suicide prevention to aid others and knew exactly what to say to the doctors to assure them he was fine. Not to mention he will not take medication for the depression because he does not like the way it makes him feel nor does he want to become addicted like his sister is. Then I wonder as my children going to be okay, not that he would harm them, but will they inherit this depression. I guess only time will tell that one.

    It is easy to suggest that I talk to someone about him, but I think it important that they want to help themselves as well. My father will never change. For my own sanity it helps me to talk about it, that is my medicine.

    That is who I am. I have issues like many other people, but in many ways I refuse to be a statistic and in others I am.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    The Land of Wheat Kings
    Posts
    754

    Hello all...........

    Welcome Clueless,

    Thank-you for the introduction and I hope you can find help and support here. I know I have.

    Take care.

  3. Hello all...........

    Welcome, Clueless. :o)

  4. #4

    Hello all...........

    Welcome Clueless,

    Glad you joined us. Does your husband at least see a therapist about his depression? It is not true that medications for depression are addictive. Is that what he believes? It is the anxiety medications that can be addictive, with the exception of Buspar.

  5. Hello all...........

    Thank you everyone for responses. HeartArt, that is a good question. The anitdepressants that he was given, I cannot recall the names off hand, but there were two different ones. Each one for him had the same effect. It made him sleep and just blah. It was nothing like him in the least. These particular ones were addictive, his sister is with the one he was prescribed and the other as well. I apologize from not knowing them offhand. He does not see anyone about his depression because he feels that there is nothing wrong. I disagree because he becomes moody, agitated, flies off the handle quite easily or just totally disassociates himself completely. I have often said to him I think he is even bipolar as he has some of the traits, more then just a few.

    He is also battling with self esteem issues as well and as a result puts me down. To be honest I do not pay much attention to it as I know the reasoning behind it. I am a much stronger person then that. Do not get me wrong it does get frustrating at times but I think I am dealing with it. I am not the type of person to just throw in the towel but then I know I cannot force his had at it.

    In the end it is pointless to see a therapist if he is going to tell him what he wants to hear and not the underlying issues. It bewilders me because he did not treat his ex to my knowledge in this manner even though she was not exactly a trustworthy person.

  6. #6

    Hello all...........

    Quote Originally Posted by clueless
    The anitdepressants that he was given, I cannot recall the names off hand, but there were two different ones. Each one for him had the same effect. It made him sleep and just blah. It was nothing like him in the least. These particular ones were addictive, his sister is with the one he was prescribed and the other as well. I apologize from not knowing them offhand.
    HeartArt is correct, though, clueless. There are a couple of antidepressants where it is advisable to taper off the medication slowly to minimize adverse effects (Paxil is one of these) but, to my knowledge, none of the antidepressants, old or new, is addictive. It may be that your husband was prescribed something else, a tranquilizer perhaps... or that he is/was simply misinformed about its addictive potential.

    He does not see anyone about his depression because he feels that there is nothing wrong. I disagree because he becomes moody, agitated, flies off the handle quite easily or just totally disassociates himself completely. I have often said to him I think he is even bipolar as he has some of the traits, more then just a few.
    Which of course makes him unpleasant to live with and life with him extremely stressful for you...

  7. Hello all...........

    There is no question that it is stressful. But I think or beleive there is a reason for everything and hopefully it is to make me a better person in some way shape or form. Do not get me wrong as we all have our good days and bad days along with the ups and downs. I take it days by day and step by step.

    Unfortunately for me, I take the wedding vows literally, and to be honest I do not want to become a stat, nor do I want my children dealing with the problems I encounter or deal with from him. I do not think of myself as being stuck.

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