I can't really explain this pain i feel I have pain when someone connects to me almost fear
I have terrible emotional pain when someone decides to leave
I don't understand because i have always been independent cared for myself I have never needed anyone to take care of me so why do i care if they come and go really.
Connections to some are important more and more connections to me are distrustful bringing only so much emotional pain into one life i can't see the logic in allowing oneself to be connected to anyone now.
I guess abandonment issues maybe but i don't get it why now after all these years i have been independent of everyone why now do i care if i have anyone in my life or not
sorry just thinking things out again pros to connection and cons to connections I am glad for the connections i have made but the pain they brought back i don't think i can handle any more pain. safety was always a must always keep one safe. i don't expect a response okay i don't i just trying to get thoughts out because logic says stay safe now okay stay safe because when one is totally drained safety is a good place