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Thread: Confused

  1. #1

    Confused

    hello, When i was little I thought that well my familly was the tipical canadian familly then my parents divorced witch changed me in many ways I see my father only 4 times a year and what before I considered normal behavior I now know is the opposite .. when i was akid the first thing I heard my father say in the morning is bring me my bear he was never ever sobber and well was the kind of person that did not give a damn what he told me I was his stupid insignificant daughter.. Now I am presently at his house for about 5 weeks today is paticularly the worst day I have been with him in my hole life cause normally he can control himself a bit more but not this time ... he is like praticly falling on me teling me that I am soooo pretty and making pretty bad comments on my body.. I love him and all but he is never sobber and well I hate having to act like what he sais doesn't phase me cause morally I feel terrible ...
    what should I do
    ashley-kate
    Life is all a perception. Do you see what I see? ...
    The more I fade away, the more they want me to stay...

  2. #2

    confused

    Call your mother and tell her what's happening? I don't think at your age any court would force you to visit with him, especially if he's exhibiting that sort of behavior.

  3. #3

    confused

    The thing is i am now 17 years old so the desicion is mine and since there divorce well my father has had two kids and I love them dearly so I take care of them I don't want them to live the same thing I do and if I am not there then they are alone with him... and plus my mom is not like next door or anything she and i live in an another province ... She went back to her familly when they split... This is the first time i stay at my dad's for this long (5 weeks) and well I always call my mom a week after this time i want to make the hoel 5 weeks
    so what can I do while staying here that could help my stay be much easier
    ashley
    Life is all a perception. Do you see what I see? ...
    The more I fade away, the more they want me to stay...

  4. confused

    David is right, Ashley. You need to call your mother and let her know what's going on. Tell her the truth...all of it. Perhaps, with your mother's help, you can get the authorities involved to be sure your step-siblings are protected from what your father is doing. You can't protect them all the time, hon. Sooner or later, you've got to leave. What then?

    You need to take steps now, to protect yourself and your step-siblings.

  5. #5

    confused

    You guys make it sound so easy but the thing is child protectionservices are already in my familly they see that I am well anorexic and they are convinced that my father is to blame but i don't want them to blaME HIM HE is so week and needs my help so if I leave he is all alone no one to watch over him
    isn't that my role as a daughter
    ashley
    Life is all a perception. Do you see what I see? ...
    The more I fade away, the more they want me to stay...

  6. confused

    No, Ashley, it isn't. It's his role as a FATHER to watch over you, his daughter. The fact is, your father needs to do something about himself before something happens to one of his children because of his behaviors. It's not YOUR responsibility, hon. It's his.

  7. #7

    confused

    Well said, ThatLady.

    The question is: Who is the parent? And who is the child?

  8. #8

    confused

    The thing is the parent is not a parent he is confused at the moment sure he loves me I know he does or more like i hope he does and I wish he does and I need to prove to him that I am a good kid and if I do this for him he will see that I am and stop being the way he is with me. like with my sister he is very nice and polite she's my twined and then there is me that as I was yund and lived with him spoke my mind and got punished and now I want ot make up for it I regret being bad the way he is with me now is because of the bad behavior I once had
    he will change one day he will stop...
    ashley
    Life is all a perception. Do you see what I see? ...
    The more I fade away, the more they want me to stay...

  9. #9

    confused

    No, you can't change people by the way you behave. I am just now learning this myself.

  10. #10

    confused

    Sadly, that is distorted thinking, Ashley. He is not the way he is because you are "a bad child". He is the way he is because he's the way he is. You didn't cause it and you can't change him -- only he can do that.

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