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  1. hi i need some help.

    i'm 24 yrs old, but i feel like i'm 40 or 50 yrs old.

    here's a little look into my life.

    4 years ago my mom died, we were really close, she was like my big sister, and i felt like my life was over for about two years, but my girlfriend (i'll call her mary) and i were dating about a year before my mom past, and she got me through it, so right there she was granted my appriciation for life.

    i also have a problem trusting people, since i've been burned by everyone from friends, enemies and even my father who slept with my old girlfriend(not mary) and i hated him way before he did that so he just made it worse.

    i was falling more and more in love with mary as time past, and she told me about here X'boyfriend, and that we were alike in more ways than one, so obviously i wanted to meet him since she made him sound like a nice guy, i did'nt want to be his best friend or anything but she use to call him occasonally, and i never meet or talked to him.

    she said no i cannot meet him, she would rather not talk to him anymore, then i startred feeling like something was going on, but we were never apart, so she was'nt sleeping with him, but i felt like she was cheating on me with him in spirit, he knew everything about me, and all i knew
    about him was his name and his old high school.

    i was begining to think that i was a fool for even thinking about loving her, so i just clamed up as usual and everything just came crashing back, my mom my dad, my x's and all the rage i had in high school( i went to 5 different high schools) mainly because my dad was verbally and mentally abusive to all of us, like we did'nt matter, he tried to hit my mom when i was 12 yrs old and at that time i told myself and i told him if he ever him my mom i would kill him, i guess that scared him off for a while but he got more abusive, and he stoped all payments on all my school and other classes i was in, this might be illegal in the usa but i grew up in trinidad.

    i am really good with my hands, and i guess i was a smart kid, i started attending high school when i had just turned 10yrs old, i was really good at drawing and sketcing, and i was just learning to air brush, i felt like my life was being taken away from my and there was nothing i could do about it.

    so i locked everyone out as i did when i was a kid, i started drinking staying out late and comming home at 4am sometimes 6am, i really did'nt care about anything, then one morning on the way home i was thinking of
    my mom and i remembered one of her speaches she always gave to me, forgive everyone because you don't have the power to judge anyone, so i did and things went back to normal.

    eventually we got married and things were looking good untill one day i asked her why was it that my meeting or talking to her x was such a bad thing, and i said i can't believe that i was acting so crazy over nothing, it's not like you slept with him while you were with me, and the look on her face said it all, and then she admitted it, once when i was being distant.

    and now i can't sleep, i'm never hungry, i'm always mad, and to make matters worse, she always says that it was my fault, i've been crossed by someone i'm soposed to love.

    it's like i love her and hate her at the same time, on top of everything else my dad came to see me recently and said that if my mom had'nt died on her own he would have killed her because she stole some of his money,and i don't think i can handle any more, is there anyone who can help me get my life back.

    i don't want to do something that i might regret later, i have crazy ideas and schemes in my head and i'm not a fragile 10year old little kid anymore, i have to stay level headed to take care of my little sister 17yrs old.

  2. hi i need some help.

    i'm 24 yrs old, but i feel like i'm 40 or 50 yrs old.

    here's a little look into my life.

    4 years ago my mom died, we were really close, she was like my big sister, and i felt like my life was over for about two years, but my girlfriend (i'll call her mary) and i were dating about a year before my mom past, and she got me through it, so right there she was granted my appriciation for life.

    i also have a problem trusting people, since i've been burned by everyone from friends, enemies and even my father who slept with my old girlfriend(not mary) and i hated him way before he did that so he just made it worse.

    i was falling more and more in love with mary as time past, and she told me about here X'boyfriend, and that we were alike in more ways than one, so obviously i wanted to meet him since she made him sound like a nice guy, i did'nt want to be his best friend or anything but she use to call him occasonally, and i never meet or talked to him.

    she said no i cannot meet him, she would rather not talk to him anymore, then i startred feeling like something was going on, but we were never apart, so she was'nt sleeping with him, but i felt like she was cheating on me with him in spirit, he knew everything about me, and all i knew
    about him was his name and his old high school.

    i was begining to think that i was a fool for even thinking about loving her, so i just clamed up as usual and everything just came crashing back, my mom my dad, my x's and all the rage i had in high school( i went to 5 different high schools) mainly because my dad was verbally and mentally abusive to all of us, like we did'nt matter, he tried to hit my mom when i was 12 yrs old and at that time i told myself and i told him if he ever him my mom i would kill him, i guess that scared him off for a while but he got more abusive, and he stoped all payments on all my school and other classes i was in, this might be illegal in the usa but i grew up in trinidad.

    i am really good with my hands, and i guess i was a smart kid, i started attending high school when i had just turned 10yrs old, i was really good at drawing and sketcing, and i was just learning to air brush, i felt like my life was being taken away from my and there was nothing i could do about it.

    so i locked everyone out as i did when i was a kid, i started drinking staying out late and comming home at 4am sometimes 6am, i really did'nt care about anything, then one morning on the way home i was thinking of
    my mom and i remembered one of her speaches she always gave to me, forgive everyone because you don't have the power to judge anyone, so i did and things went back to normal.

    eventually we got married and things were looking good untill one day i asked her why was it that my meeting or talking to her x was such a bad thing, and i said i can't believe that i was acting so crazy over nothing, it's not like you slept with him while you were with me, and the look on her face said it all, and then she admitted it, once when i was being distant.

    and now i can't sleep, i'm never hungry, i'm always mad, and to make matters worse, she always says that it was my fault, i've been crossed by someone i'm soposed to love.

    it's like i love her and hate her at the same time, on top of everything else my dad came to see me recently and said that if my mom had'nt died on her own he would have killed her because she stole some of his money,and i don't think i can handle any more, is there anyone who can help me get my life back.

    i don't want to do something that i might regret later, i have crazy ideas and schemes in my head and i'm not a fragile 10year old little kid anymore, i have to stay level headed to take care of my little sister 17yrs old.

  3. #3

    hi i need some help.

    Good luck dude. I don't have any advice but i hope you pull through it.

  4. #4

    hi i need some help.

    Good luck dude. I don't have any advice but i hope you pull through it.

  5. #5

    hi i need some help.

    ...and then she admitted it, once when i was being distant.
    I don't know if this occurred before or after the marriage. Regardless, the emotional distance she experienced is one of the most common reasons/excuses for temporarily straying outside of a monogamous relationship.

    Since you are having symptoms of depression (problems sleeping, decreased appetite, etc.), you may want to seek out counseling for yourself and/or marriage counseling.
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  6. #6

    hi i need some help.

    ...and then she admitted it, once when i was being distant.
    I don't know if this occurred before or after the marriage. Regardless, the emotional distance she experienced is one of the most common reasons/excuses for temporarily straying outside of a monogamous relationship.

    Since you are having symptoms of depression (problems sleeping, decreased appetite, etc.), you may want to seek out counseling for yourself and/or marriage counseling.
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  7. #7

    hi i need some help.

    Adding to what Daniel said, "getting over" an affair is not an easy thing for most people -- I think that's something else a therapist could help you with.

  8. #8

    hi i need some help.

    Adding to what Daniel said, "getting over" an affair is not an easy thing for most people -- I think that's something else a therapist could help you with.

  9. #9

    hi i need some help.

    Related Article: When Your Partner Cheats: Healing From Infidelity

    Also:

    Whatever the reason for the affair, the effect infidelity has on a relationship is devastating.

    "Nothing rocks a person's sense of self, trust, and marriage more than infidelity," says Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage. "Infidelity leaves people questioning their sanity, as well as everything they believe to be true about their spouse, and about the viability of their marriage. Infidelity is crippling."

    People find themselves crying a lot, not being able to concentrate, being upset, and feeling depressed.

    "These are all of the initial emotions that go with the discovery of the betrayal," Weiner-Davis tells WebMD. "However, emotions change over time."

    When the initial shock of an affair is over, then it is time for both people in the relationship to examine what role they played in letting the relationship slide down such a slippery slope...

    excerpted from Overcoming Infidelity - WebMD
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  10. #10

    hi i need some help.

    Related Article: When Your Partner Cheats: Healing From Infidelity

    Also:

    Whatever the reason for the affair, the effect infidelity has on a relationship is devastating.

    "Nothing rocks a person's sense of self, trust, and marriage more than infidelity," says Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage. "Infidelity leaves people questioning their sanity, as well as everything they believe to be true about their spouse, and about the viability of their marriage. Infidelity is crippling."

    People find themselves crying a lot, not being able to concentrate, being upset, and feeling depressed.

    "These are all of the initial emotions that go with the discovery of the betrayal," Weiner-Davis tells WebMD. "However, emotions change over time."

    When the initial shock of an affair is over, then it is time for both people in the relationship to examine what role they played in letting the relationship slide down such a slippery slope...

    excerpted from Overcoming Infidelity - WebMD
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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