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Thread: fed up

  1. fed up

    im so incredibly sick of everything. my sister came to town and of course shes a skinny ass twig and she said my other sis (who also has and ed) is losing a lot of weight again too. how am i doing? ive ballooned up. im gigantically huge compared to everybody i know. im so sick of being grotesquily huge. i always have to binge/purge. and a lot of time i dont even get everything up. this sucks so badly. i dont know what to do anymore. all i know is that if i gain anymore weight .... i think i might just go absolutely insane.
    katelyn

  2. fed up

    im so incredibly sick of everything. my sister came to town and of course shes a skinny ass twig and she said my other sis (who also has and ed) is losing a lot of weight again too. how am i doing? ive ballooned up. im gigantically huge compared to everybody i know. im so sick of being grotesquily huge. i always have to binge/purge. and a lot of time i dont even get everything up. this sucks so badly. i dont know what to do anymore. all i know is that if i gain anymore weight .... i think i might just go absolutely insane.
    katelyn

  3. #3

    keep calm

    hey there sweetie,
    I can only imagine how hard it is for you right now your plan in the begining was oh i will just maek myself sick and then loose all the calories but the more you make yourself sick ..your body will in the long run keep in all the calories it can therefore you will gain weight even more than if you just ate normal meals. I know it is not easy to stop and that if you stop you will probaly just do like your sister or others and stop eating completly to lose the weight i know been there and still am but you just have to be strong try talk ing to people like adults that you trust or even if you are not in therapie you should try to find a good therapist that could help you get threw this it will take some time but may help you more than you think i am in therapie although it is not really working out for me one day i keep hope that it will and it may work for you it is proven to work with many girls that are bulimic or anorexic or have any eating disorder find someone it will help you find the source of the proleme and work on fixing it. yours trully
    ashley-kate
    Life is all a perception. Do you see what I see? ...
    The more I fade away, the more they want me to stay...

  4. #4

    keep calm

    hey there sweetie,
    I can only imagine how hard it is for you right now your plan in the begining was oh i will just maek myself sick and then loose all the calories but the more you make yourself sick ..your body will in the long run keep in all the calories it can therefore you will gain weight even more than if you just ate normal meals. I know it is not easy to stop and that if you stop you will probaly just do like your sister or others and stop eating completly to lose the weight i know been there and still am but you just have to be strong try talk ing to people like adults that you trust or even if you are not in therapie you should try to find a good therapist that could help you get threw this it will take some time but may help you more than you think i am in therapie although it is not really working out for me one day i keep hope that it will and it may work for you it is proven to work with many girls that are bulimic or anorexic or have any eating disorder find someone it will help you find the source of the proleme and work on fixing it. yours trully
    ashley-kate
    Life is all a perception. Do you see what I see? ...
    The more I fade away, the more they want me to stay...

  5. fed up

    this is the first time ive discovered this site. i feel so terrible for you and it must be so hard having your sister suffering to. You sound as if you are locked in the same cycle that i am in. i spend my days bingeing and purging and my nights thinking about dying....hoping desperately that this will one day get better. This is not living...we must attempt to change our futures. I am just existing in a body that i abuse. I desperately need help. i have tried years of therapy. The only way out i can imagine is by going in to rehab but i can't afford it.it feels better to know that i am not alone though. x

  6. fed up

    this is the first time ive discovered this site. i feel so terrible for you and it must be so hard having your sister suffering to. You sound as if you are locked in the same cycle that i am in. i spend my days bingeing and purging and my nights thinking about dying....hoping desperately that this will one day get better. This is not living...we must attempt to change our futures. I am just existing in a body that i abuse. I desperately need help. i have tried years of therapy. The only way out i can imagine is by going in to rehab but i can't afford it.it feels better to know that i am not alone though. x

  7. fed up

    mabel-
    your right. it is very hard. and you are definantly not alone. its good that you know you need help and want it. its too bad its too expensive. i wish you luck with your recovery.
    katelyn

  8. fed up

    mabel-
    your right. it is very hard. and you are definantly not alone. its good that you know you need help and want it. its too bad its too expensive. i wish you luck with your recovery.
    katelyn

  9. #9

    fed up

    you know darlings, try not to look at the peope around you ... there have been times where i cooked for my family and i hvae put extra oil, extra pasta, i bought potato chips and chocolate that i know my sister and mum likes, just to make usre that they gain weight, even tho, as normal people, they are always trying to maintanin or lose weight .... and now i look back and think how sick tat was .... everyone is their own person. and we are loved for who we are, what we can bring to someones life. not for our physical appearance or weight ...
    i se now, my sister is about 15 kgs heavier than me and she is so so happy. everyone loves her bubbly and out going personality and everyone says how she looks amazing... she radiates, as does her skin, her hair .. her everything!!!!!!!!!! she has a body! and now, being the skinny me that i am , i envy that. and i envy the fact that she can love herslf the way that she is and that i only love myslf when im thin ...
    ive been doing so much thinking this summer nad its been very hard. but you have to look at and inside yourself in order to really et over this and appreciate the person that you are. that is what peope want. an individual with character and personality ... adn the only thing i had to ffer for a very long time was an ed. and noone really wanted her.
    so please. look deep inside and find the courage and determination to change. it really will chagne your life for the better, however hard it maybe, whatever struggle you will hae to endure. it is worth it at the end. you have to rehab from something addictiv and that is never easy .....................
    xx

  10. #10

    fed up

    you know darlings, try not to look at the peope around you ... there have been times where i cooked for my family and i hvae put extra oil, extra pasta, i bought potato chips and chocolate that i know my sister and mum likes, just to make usre that they gain weight, even tho, as normal people, they are always trying to maintanin or lose weight .... and now i look back and think how sick tat was .... everyone is their own person. and we are loved for who we are, what we can bring to someones life. not for our physical appearance or weight ...
    i se now, my sister is about 15 kgs heavier than me and she is so so happy. everyone loves her bubbly and out going personality and everyone says how she looks amazing... she radiates, as does her skin, her hair .. her everything!!!!!!!!!! she has a body! and now, being the skinny me that i am , i envy that. and i envy the fact that she can love herslf the way that she is and that i only love myslf when im thin ...
    ive been doing so much thinking this summer nad its been very hard. but you have to look at and inside yourself in order to really et over this and appreciate the person that you are. that is what peope want. an individual with character and personality ... adn the only thing i had to ffer for a very long time was an ed. and noone really wanted her.
    so please. look deep inside and find the courage and determination to change. it really will chagne your life for the better, however hard it maybe, whatever struggle you will hae to endure. it is worth it at the end. you have to rehab from something addictiv and that is never easy .....................
    xx

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