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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    102

    I'm really afraid

    As far back as I can remember, we've had to deal with tragedy and trauma in our family on a very regular basis. Anything that CAN go wrong HAS gone wrong in our lives and it seems nothing positive happens. I don't believe in curses and am the last one to consider myself superstitious, but all my life I've felt as though a proverbial "black cloud" has hung over my family for many years. As a survivor of many hardships, I can say that susperstition is laughable, but something happened to us today that really frightened me for the first time.

    My mom attended a friend's funeral this morning. Usually the funeral attendant removes all of the funeral flags from the cars in the procession. Well, she came out after the service and noticed that everyone's flag had been removed...except for hers. It was left untouched. We called the funeral home and they want it back, maybe the attendant forgot it. The thing is, we often are the only ones to get, as one would say, "bad omens". I'm not superstitious, but countless times, weird things have happened before a tragedy or hardship struck, things we can't explain, and shortly after, things start going very wrong...

    Some believe that things happen in a series of 3's...well, recently, 2 of my mother's co-workers lost relatives, so it would make sense that maybe she'll be the third one to complete the cycle, right? i'm thinking the one who's gonna die next is me...or her. I'm getting sick to my stomach thinking about this, I suffer from anxiety as it is because our life circumstances are never stable with bad things happening so often, and I'm beginning to panic. i'm afraid to leave the house or do anything. Some advice would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    102

    I'm really afraid

    As far back as I can remember, we've had to deal with tragedy and trauma in our family on a very regular basis. Anything that CAN go wrong HAS gone wrong in our lives and it seems nothing positive happens. I don't believe in curses and am the last one to consider myself superstitious, but all my life I've felt as though a proverbial "black cloud" has hung over my family for many years. As a survivor of many hardships, I can say that susperstition is laughable, but something happened to us today that really frightened me for the first time.

    My mom attended a friend's funeral this morning. Usually the funeral attendant removes all of the funeral flags from the cars in the procession. Well, she came out after the service and noticed that everyone's flag had been removed...except for hers. It was left untouched. We called the funeral home and they want it back, maybe the attendant forgot it. The thing is, we often are the only ones to get, as one would say, "bad omens". I'm not superstitious, but countless times, weird things have happened before a tragedy or hardship struck, things we can't explain, and shortly after, things start going very wrong...

    Some believe that things happen in a series of 3's...well, recently, 2 of my mother's co-workers lost relatives, so it would make sense that maybe she'll be the third one to complete the cycle, right? i'm thinking the one who's gonna die next is me...or her. I'm getting sick to my stomach thinking about this, I suffer from anxiety as it is because our life circumstances are never stable with bad things happening so often, and I'm beginning to panic. i'm afraid to leave the house or do anything. Some advice would be greatly appreciated!

  3. #3

    I'm really afraid

    I can certainly understand your fear and concern, hon. Yet, let's not read into things. That only leads to finding "omens" that aren't really "omens", at all. They're just events. The flag was missed by the person collecting them. It can happen to everyone. It could be seen as indicating that your mother should remember her friend fondly, rather than as a bad "omen". Try to look at things with as much positive slant as negative. It will relieve a lot of your anxiety.

    Hugs to you! I hope things start to look up for you and your family. :o)

  4. #4

    I'm really afraid

    I can certainly understand your fear and concern, hon. Yet, let's not read into things. That only leads to finding "omens" that aren't really "omens", at all. They're just events. The flag was missed by the person collecting them. It can happen to everyone. It could be seen as indicating that your mother should remember her friend fondly, rather than as a bad "omen". Try to look at things with as much positive slant as negative. It will relieve a lot of your anxiety.

    Hugs to you! I hope things start to look up for you and your family. :o)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    102

    I'm really afraid

    Thanks for your kindness, ThatLady. I'm working hard to keep such negativity out of my mind. It's hard though, as it seems my mom is reading into more "signs" she saw today and her anxiety is rubbing off on me. i guess this morning she saw a van with a giant plastic skeleton on it leaving from the place I work at, so she asked me, "Why are we being shown these things? I'm really, really worried about your safety." Then a while ago i checked my email and on my homepage was the ominous question, "What happens after we die?" Maybe we were both a little spooked into noticing symbols of death lately, but her anxiety around me isn't reassuring. How can I reassure her if it's me she's worried about and I'm always a bag of nerves as it is?

    I mean, I'm in college, I'm young, i guess I'm healthy but have a tendancy to worry about my health (probably because she's having many health problems at a relatively premature age) and her worry is hard for me to ignore. What can i say to her to relieve both of our anxious minds?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    102

    I'm really afraid

    Thanks for your kindness, ThatLady. I'm working hard to keep such negativity out of my mind. It's hard though, as it seems my mom is reading into more "signs" she saw today and her anxiety is rubbing off on me. i guess this morning she saw a van with a giant plastic skeleton on it leaving from the place I work at, so she asked me, "Why are we being shown these things? I'm really, really worried about your safety." Then a while ago i checked my email and on my homepage was the ominous question, "What happens after we die?" Maybe we were both a little spooked into noticing symbols of death lately, but her anxiety around me isn't reassuring. How can I reassure her if it's me she's worried about and I'm always a bag of nerves as it is?

    I mean, I'm in college, I'm young, i guess I'm healthy but have a tendancy to worry about my health (probably because she's having many health problems at a relatively premature age) and her worry is hard for me to ignore. What can i say to her to relieve both of our anxious minds?

  7. #7

    I'm really afraid

    Hi Seeking,

    Just wondering: why does your mother say: ""Why are we being shown these things? I'm really, really worried about your safety."

    Why doesn't shey say: "Why am I" and "my safety"...?

    It comes across as your mothers anxiety is also put on you. Like her fears about her own health also apply to you.

    But you are not sick and you are not your mother! It comes across as if you just want to live your life, with or without omens. In this situation you get more worried by this instead of trying to live your life as difficult as it already is. I can understand that.

    And then you also see those signs as negative while you can also see it as positive like ThatLady said. If your mother wants to be afraid, that is her choice. But stand up for yourself and try to tell her that it really, really bothers you. I would get crazy of this to be honest.

    This way you get a bag full of worries on your shoulders. Put them back where they belong: at your mothers feet.

  8. #8

    I'm really afraid

    Hi Seeking,

    Just wondering: why does your mother say: ""Why are we being shown these things? I'm really, really worried about your safety."

    Why doesn't shey say: "Why am I" and "my safety"...?

    It comes across as your mothers anxiety is also put on you. Like her fears about her own health also apply to you.

    But you are not sick and you are not your mother! It comes across as if you just want to live your life, with or without omens. In this situation you get more worried by this instead of trying to live your life as difficult as it already is. I can understand that.

    And then you also see those signs as negative while you can also see it as positive like ThatLady said. If your mother wants to be afraid, that is her choice. But stand up for yourself and try to tell her that it really, really bothers you. I would get crazy of this to be honest.

    This way you get a bag full of worries on your shoulders. Put them back where they belong: at your mothers feet.

  9. #9

    I'm really afraid

    Once you get started doing the kinds of things you're doing...reading meaning where no meaning exists...it's an unending cycle. You'll just keep seeing things that can be read into, and keep reading into them, and sharing them between yourselves. What's that going to do? Turn both of you into nervous wrecks.

    If I were you, I'd tell mom that I didn't want to think about omens anymore. I'd tell her I wanted to live my life a day at a time, and to live it happily...not in fear of what tomorrow might bring. I'd also tell her I hoped she'd live her life the same way. Then, I'd put aside the omens and take mom out to lunch. :o)

  10. #10

    I'm really afraid

    Once you get started doing the kinds of things you're doing...reading meaning where no meaning exists...it's an unending cycle. You'll just keep seeing things that can be read into, and keep reading into them, and sharing them between yourselves. What's that going to do? Turn both of you into nervous wrecks.

    If I were you, I'd tell mom that I didn't want to think about omens anymore. I'd tell her I wanted to live my life a day at a time, and to live it happily...not in fear of what tomorrow might bring. I'd also tell her I hoped she'd live her life the same way. Then, I'd put aside the omens and take mom out to lunch. :o)

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