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  1. #1
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    Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

    Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

    To help you begin using radical acceptance, it's often helpful to use a coping statement to remind yourself. Below are a few examples:

    • “This is the way it has to be.”
    • “All the events have led up to now.”
    • “I can’t change what’s already happened.”
    • “It’s no use fighting the past.”
    • “Fighting the past only blinds me to my present.”
    • “The present is the only moment I have control over.”
    • “It’s a waste of time to fight what’s already occurred.”
    • “The present moment is perfect, even if I don’t like what’s happening.”
    • “This moment is exactly as it should be, given what’s happened before it.”
    • “This moment is the result of over a million other decisions.”


    excerpted from
    : Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.” ~ Rumi

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    Re: Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

    ...The first set of Reality Acceptance Skills can be remembered by the acronym “ACCEPTS”. The goal of the “ACCEPTS” skills are to distract you from the emotional pain; to buy some time to think before reacting impulsively or getting swept up in rumination.

    A ctivities that are fun and meaningful. What do you like to do?
    C ontribute by adding value to someone else’s day or life.
    C ompare yourself with the less-fortunate or with yourself when you were less skillful.
    E motions (other) –do something to shift your emotional gears—laughter, enjoyment, pride.
    P ush away the hurt to the background. Focus instead on something productive and affirming.
    T houghts—force your mind to think about something else.
    S ensations—stimulate your senses—smell something sweet; taste spicy candy; see art.

    There are more Reality Acceptance skills—but first, you should practice these. Write these skills on an index card and put somewhere that is easily accessible. The next time you feel the sting of interpersonal pain, pull out the card and go down the list...

    How to Accept Hurt - Insights from DBT | Moxie Mental Health
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.” ~ Rumi

  3. #3
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    Re: Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

    You can’t solve a problem if you can’t accept that you’ve got the problem. If you deny, escape, avoid, run away from, dissociate, try to kill yourself, attack and do everything in the world, you can’t really get anywhere until you can say, “Yes, this is my life. I hate it. I’ll do something about it.”

    Mindfulness is a practice to help you radically accept yourself without censure, judgment, hate, and attack.

    ~ Walking Like Buffalo: Reflections on Mindfulness and DBT
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.” ~ Rumi

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    Re: Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

    Video clip of Marsha Linehan on radical acceptance:

    From Suffering to Freedom: Practicing Reality Acceptance

    Transcript of the entire video:

    Radical Acceptance Text

    An excerpt:

    There are three parts to radical acceptance. The first part is accepting that reality is what it is. The second part is accepting that the event or situation causing you pain has a cause. The third part is accepting life can be worth living even with painful events in it...

    Accepting that every event has a cause is the opposite of saying 'why me'...
    Radical acceptance is not necessarily knowing what the causes are...But I accept that there was a cause, even if I don't know it...

    Why is it harder to accept really painful things? Generally, it's because secretly, somewhere inside us, we actually believe that if we refuse to accept something that we don't like, all we have to do is throw a tantrum or refuse to accept it.


    ---------- Post added February 26th, 2012 at 06:31 AM ---------- Previous post was February 25th, 2012 at 11:39 PM ----------

    Radical Acceptance: An Interview with Tara Brach

    Pain X Resistance = Suffering. Typically when anxiety or anger or sadness arises, it is met with a form of resistance like judgment (such as the thought “This is bad, this shouldn’t be happening”), self-distraction or physical contraction. If instead you mindfully accept the difficult feeling and the dislike of how unpleasant it is, there is a shift in your relationship to the experience. That which is aware and accepting of the feelings is larger than the feelings. Your sense of Being is enlarged: While the unpleasantness might remain, it no longer is hitched to your sense of who you are. There is freedom, there is room for what is going on.
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.” ~ Rumi

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    Re: Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

    Addictive thinking: understanding self-deception - Abraham J. Twerski - Google Books

    Much of the denial in addictive, distorted thinking is due to intense resistance to change. As long as someone denies reality, he or she can continue behaving the same as before. Acceptance of reality might commit him or her to the very difficult proces of change.
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.” ~ Rumi

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