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  1. #1

    Parental Alienation Syndrome

    I am recently separated and currently have arrangements to have my teenager and tween children most of the time with me. We have had an "assessment" by a certified "assessor/master of social work" done and the report came out that my children should be most of the time with me. Their father is fighting the assessment report on the basis of parental alienation and on the basis of bias from the assessor. We are now having another assessment performed as he has retained a "doctor of psychology" to review the assessement and criticize the approach taken during the initial assessment.
    Prior to separation, my ex-spouse who is a "professional" had not been working for several years (having lost a high paying job) and would not go for a lower paying job. I myself a professional had been supporting the family for several years. Over the years, my ex-spouse became very irritable with the children (due to frustration in not finding a job) but also became very comfortable at staying home and maintaining is lifestyle.
    He just recently found a job (not paying as much as he had wished for) and he decided that he would keep the house.
    Every visit that the children have had with their father, incidents have occurred. My younger child walked all the way to my house. My ex-spouse picked the child up from school one night when he was not supposed to. He cancelled my oldest child sleepover party at a friend. My teenager then refused to go to my ex-spouse that weekend.
    Also on each visit to their dad, their paternal grandparents have been there. One day the little one came home and asked me what "schizophrenic" meant. I was totally distraught. The child then told me that grandma had said that the child was schizophrenic and needed help and need to se a psychologoist.
    The grandparents have told the children that I am "dumping them at camp" as I have no time for them and that my sister once took drugs", that mommy only cares about money.
    Somehow I have kept quiet with the children and so has my family. However his family is always bad-mouthing me when the children are with them. I just do not understand how I can be accused of brainwashing the children or Parental Alienation when he is the one always badmouthing my family and me.

  2. #2

    Parental Alienation Syndrome

    I am recently separated and currently have arrangements to have my teenager and tween children most of the time with me. We have had an "assessment" by a certified "assessor/master of social work" done and the report came out that my children should be most of the time with me. Their father is fighting the assessment report on the basis of parental alienation and on the basis of bias from the assessor. We are now having another assessment performed as he has retained a "doctor of psychology" to review the assessement and criticize the approach taken during the initial assessment.
    Prior to separation, my ex-spouse who is a "professional" had not been working for several years (having lost a high paying job) and would not go for a lower paying job. I myself a professional had been supporting the family for several years. Over the years, my ex-spouse became very irritable with the children (due to frustration in not finding a job) but also became very comfortable at staying home and maintaining is lifestyle.
    He just recently found a job (not paying as much as he had wished for) and he decided that he would keep the house.
    Every visit that the children have had with their father, incidents have occurred. My younger child walked all the way to my house. My ex-spouse picked the child up from school one night when he was not supposed to. He cancelled my oldest child sleepover party at a friend. My teenager then refused to go to my ex-spouse that weekend.
    Also on each visit to their dad, their paternal grandparents have been there. One day the little one came home and asked me what "schizophrenic" meant. I was totally distraught. The child then told me that grandma had said that the child was schizophrenic and needed help and need to se a psychologoist.
    The grandparents have told the children that I am "dumping them at camp" as I have no time for them and that my sister once took drugs", that mommy only cares about money.
    Somehow I have kept quiet with the children and so has my family. However his family is always bad-mouthing me when the children are with them. I just do not understand how I can be accused of brainwashing the children or Parental Alienation when he is the one always badmouthing my family and me.

  3. #3

    Parental Alineation Syndrome

    I would take this up with your Ex. It would be helpful to the children if you encourage them to talk about their feelings over that situation. Ask them how it makes them feel to hear things like that from their father or his relatives. Then take that information and speak to your Ex. Maybe he doesn't even realize the impact it's having on your children. Make him realize that this will also impact his relationship with the children later on in life.

    Sounds like you have to be the adult in this situation. Don't talk about your Ex in front of the kids. Be their mentor and someone they can talk to about the situation. Your Ex is probably still not over the break-up and is still emotional about it. It's sad that your children have to overhear these conversations.

  4. #4

    Parental Alineation Syndrome

    I would take this up with your Ex. It would be helpful to the children if you encourage them to talk about their feelings over that situation. Ask them how it makes them feel to hear things like that from their father or his relatives. Then take that information and speak to your Ex. Maybe he doesn't even realize the impact it's having on your children. Make him realize that this will also impact his relationship with the children later on in life.

    Sounds like you have to be the adult in this situation. Don't talk about your Ex in front of the kids. Be their mentor and someone they can talk to about the situation. Your Ex is probably still not over the break-up and is still emotional about it. It's sad that your children have to overhear these conversations.

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