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Thread: How to stop it

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    43

    How to stop it

    I'm 14 and i was bullied since the age of 5. i don't know why, but i've been bullied relentlessly from then onward. every day of every year without failure- you name it. exclusion, verbal abuse, physical abuse. one day in year sixat eleven i just exploded and knocked out someone cold who was trying to hit me. since then i've just had everything bottled up and ive never found anyway to release it - it still carries on today and im just sick of it. the only releif i ever had was the brief period after i knocked out that kid where everyone was sayin wow that was cool... then it went back to "normal" being bullied every day. telling teachers doesnt do **** as i found out. youve gotta deal with it yourself... but i dont really want to actually hurt somebody and end up getting suspended... anything else to do or do i just let it happen and continue being treated like a sack of crap for the next few years?

  2. #2

    How to stop it

    It really sucks I was bullied at School as well and I did nothing and it was awful, I wish that I could give some advice but I found that telling teachers did nothing as well, I am so sorry that you are going through this, do you have a School Counsellor you can get advice off? Or a teacher that you trust who you could talk to?

    Heather...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    32,619

    How to stop it

    I'm sure you are correct in saying that telling teachers does nothing. However, if you can enlist the help of parents or another adult, or even the police, or sometimes even the principle, the teachers typically will pay a bit more attention.

    I'm not sure what part of the world you live in AMT, but I do know that Canada, the US, and the UK are becoming more aware of this as a problem. In the US and Canada, schools, teachers, and school boards have been the target of lawsuits for failing to provide security for the students in their care. They still seem to do their best to turn a blind eye and pretend it's not happening but there's nothing like the threat of legal action or criminal charges to make a school sit up and take notice.

    Have you tried talking to your parents about this? If that's not a realistic option for some reason, is there another adult you might think about telling?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    43

    How to stop it

    my parents know about it, but it's never been stopped- once someone was suspended when he jumped me on the way home because i stopped him from shoving a little kid in a bin, but nothing has ever happened to anyone since then, it just goes on and on, like someone throwing blocks of wood at my head in woodwork, or constantly tripping me up or shoving me into the wall in the corridor etc. thats been goin on since i came to high school but it hasnt ever been stopped cos so many people do it (i live in england btw)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    32,619

    How to stop it

    Your parents know about it -- what steps have they taken to intervene?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    43

    How to stop it

    they've done what they can- they told the headteacher about it and stuff but it just hasn't stopped and i doubt it ever will. They don't know about some of the stuff- mostly because im too embarrased to say cos i just feel like i'm weak or this wouldn't happen to me. nothings ever really been done- not for lack of effort but because all the shits won't listen. I'm not the only one this happens to, i just probably get the worst of it... it would help if i actually knew why this happens to me but i've no idea, it just always has, and i'm sick of it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    1,207

    How to stop it

    Hi AMT;
    It would be very helpful to your parents and school authorities if you did share all that has happened. If not, they're only focusing on the fraction of a problem, and not all of it. It may also explain why they haven't done as much as they could...they simply don't know all the details which prevents them from recognizing the severity of the problem. None of that makes you weak. On the contrary, asking for help is a sign of strength and courage.

  8. #8

    How to stop it

    Hey AMT. I know this post is from a while back but hopefully this information will be of some use to you or anyone else in need. And btw, how are things going now that school has started again??

    First of all, remember that bullies themselves have a lot of problems. I don't mean to minimize what you're going through, b/c clearly you're the victim here, but bullies often come from problem families or have some kind of issues of their own, ie. agression. So the fact that kids look up to bullies and see their power as glory is quite disgusting. If there is anything at all you can take away from this, then remember all the good things that you do have in your life; know that the ones who are the bullies are not happy when it comes down to it. They need the power to thrive.

    Is there anything you can do, besides from getting parents etc. involved, that will help you with your self-esteem? Join a club at school, try to expand your social skills and connections- studies have shown that low self- esteem and poor social skills make people "easier" targets. This may help you to know how to respond in some of these situations (not that there is an obvious way to respond to these irrational people). Don't be confused about anything that you have done wrong. B/c you haven't.

    It is important to try and stop this cycle as soon as possible. There are long term effects, such as anxiety and depression, and if it is not the school context, then the same situations can reoccur at work etc. Someone I know had to take his 3 year old daughter out of daycare b/c she was being bullied. There is no age limit to this so it's not something that will just go away by itself. You have a right to live a happy life and without fear of being bullied. Take charge of that right. Don't let them win by "just letting it happen" as you said in your original post. I know you've been trying to deal with this, and it is not a lack of effort as you said, but don't give up.

    Schools need to act on this. They need to tell the bully what they're doing is wrong and why. Not telling teachers, parents, prinicpals etc. what's going on will not help them help you adequately. It is not your fault and you are not weak for telling them what is going on. In fact, it is a sign of your strength and determination. Teachers often lack in this kind of training and are unsure what to do. That doesn't mean that they should not have to step up and try to help you and others. They have more power over bullying than they think. Students need to be educated about this as well. Everyone needs to work together to end this. Take their help or ask for it.

    A lot of these ideas are taken from this research paper I wrote about bullying a long time ago..... here's some websites too:
    www.childline.org.uk (there's a link for bullying on there)
    www.bullybeware.com
    www.nobully.org.nz

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    12

    How to stop it

    AMT-
    I was a target for bullying thru out grade school and into my first year of high school.
    I know the hurt, the shame and exclusion you may feel. Bullies are have some sort of self esteem problem that requires them to tear others down to raise their own self image. It's a difficult situation but the more you take it, the worse it gets. Don't hesitate to report your problem to your parents and/ or school officials. As said above, in the US, students are held to some sort of code (varies from school to school) that forbids that type of behavior.
    Good luck and keep your head up-
    Arnie

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