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Thread: One liners

  1. #51
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    Re: One liners

    “I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.”

    ~ Larry David

  2. #52
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    Re: One liners

    “I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”

    ~ Sam Kinison

  3. #53
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    Re: One liners

    If money doesn’t grow on trees, how come banks have branches?

  4. #54
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    Re: One liners

    "I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."

    ~ Tommy Cooper

  5. #55
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    Re: One liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Daniel View Post
    If money doesn’t grow on trees, how come banks have branches?
    branch manager and assistant.jpg

  6. #56
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    Re: One liners

    "Feeling good...if good means nervous."

    ~ Drunk Parents (funny movie of a rich couple that loses it all)

  7. #57
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    Re: One liners

    "The brain is an amazing organ. It starts working in a mother's womb and it doesn't stop working til you get elected to Congress."

    ~ U.S. Senator John Neely Kennedy

  8. #58
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    Re: One liners

    "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." ~ Dave Barry

  9. #59
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    Re: One liners

    "Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? are they afraid someone will clean them?"


    "Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up."

    Jerry Seinfeld

  10. #60
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    Re: One liners



    Sent from my LM-Q720 using Tapatalk

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