Advertisement
Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1

    creeping thoughts...

    I have been having more and more thoughts about suicide...they (thoughts) just seem to creep up on me...I start thinking about how and when I will do it...I just feel like my life is stuck in this rut and just when i think I've hit the bottom of the pit and can start climbing back up something else happens...I have just been dealing with so much hard stuff...then I feel guilty b/c I know my life is better than a lot of peoples and I get sick of feeling guilty...I don't know it's like a never ending circle...I started my senior year of high school last week and even though it's supposed to be like a great year I am already feeling stressed b/c I'm president of three clubs and a member or two more and then theres work and now I'm a big sister with big brother/big sister's of America and I'm in a band and on a county leadership board and I take piano lessons and try to pull off somewhat of a social life (yeah right). not to mention trying to fill out three college applications before october...anyway suicide just seems like my only escape from my life...thanks for listening to my rambling!!
    Kelsey (kels)
    How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    North American lakes and rivers
    Posts
    4,832

    creeping thoughts...

    Hey Kelsey,

    Have you considered reducing your involvement in these activities, which will reduce your stress level considerably? We tend to think that the more we give the more we will be fulfilled and that is true to a certain extent, but when you "pass the line", you end up burning out and not being able to give at all. What do you NEED to do? What do you WANT to do? What can take a rest?

    The stage you are at right now is incredibly overwhelming. Please don't feel like you're the only person that feels this way. The last year of high school is tough - you have the pressures of applying for college, doing well academically, having a social life, and perhaps balancing a part time job. Add to that the fact that your friends may go separate ways...to different colleges...who wouldn't feel overwhelmed?

    It probably doesn't help for me to tell you that what you're feeling is not uncommon to people your age. You have alot of pressures that only a superhuman could handle without blinking an eye.

    Take some time each day to put things in perspective. Set aside an hour of "me time" every day. That's your time to think, read, write, have a pity party....whatever you need to calm down and be able to stay focused.

    Consider meeting with your school counsellor. Again, what you're experiencing is not uncommon and they can help you prioritize your life and help you to regain some control when it feels like the world is spinning around you.

    And remember - it's short term. You have one year left. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Take care.
    ~ Allow yourself to be the light that the world so desperately needs. ~ Unknown

  3. #3

    creeping thoughts...

    ...I am already feeling stressed b/c I'm president of three clubs and a member or two more and then theres work and now I'm a big sister with big brother/big sister's of America and I'm in a band and on a county leadership board and I take piano lessons and try to pull off somewhat of a social life (yeah right).
    Depression, stress, or a worsening of one's existing depression or stress is often a wake up call that changes need to be made. I would agree that you need to quit some of the activities mentioned above. Most people take life too seriously in the first place. Personally, I was glad to quit piano lessons and summer band practice during my high school years.

    Also, a high school academic record may be pretty much established by the end of the junior year, and the second term of the senior year may not be factored by many colleges.
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  4. #4

    creeping thoughts...

    I know that reducing the amount of activites I'm involved with would be helpfull, but I know this sounds dumb but if I'm not involved in enough things so that I'm maxed out I feel like I'm being lazy or that I'm being a failure...It doesn't help that my mom has told me that I'm lazy and told me that getting a B is failure to her...my therapist also suggested that I take an hour for me time but where would I find an hour...It's 10:15pm now and I just got home from youth group and band practice and I have to do at least an hours worth of homework...I got home from school and 2:35 but had to leave at 3:00 for an interview that lasted till 4:45...I got home at five fifteen then I ate dinner and left for youth group at 6:15...I also don't know how to say no and I could never tell a group that I couldn't participate anymore....plus even though I don't need to money my mom says that I have to work two nights a week plus saturdays...then on sundays I clean offices....i guess i always think of suicide b/c i see that as my only way out of all my obligations...anyway thanks for the advice
    How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes.

  5. #5

    creeping thoughts...

    I know that reducing the amount of activites I'm involved with would be helpfull, but I know this sounds dumb but if I'm not involved in enough things so that I'm maxed out I feel like I'm being lazy or that I'm being a failure...
    After you quit some of the activities, you will still have enough on your plate and may still feel busy. One hour of free time a day isn't much free time for a high school student. Many college students, for example, have at least several hours of free time a day.

    As your therapist may have said, if you continue to live at this same level of frenzied activity, you may crash and burn, i.e. have a temporary mental breakdown which may keep you from doing anything after school for a while. (The concept of "crash and burn" or "burning out" reminds me of the more dramatic Japanase term "karoushi," which means sudden death by overworking. A similar concept is "American mania.")

    It doesn't help that my mom has told me that I'm lazy and told me that getting a B is failure to her...plus even though I don't need to money my mom says that I have to work two nights a week plus saturdays...then on sundays I clean offices
    You may want to have a therapy session that includes your mother. Doing so may be a more direct, effective approach than just getting advice in therapy about dealing with your mother's expectations.
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  6. #6

    creeping thoughts...

    Hi Kels,

    You are one busy person! The question I have for you is there anything you are attempting to avoid by keeping so busy? After reading and then re-reading your post I wondered about the possibility of avoidance of some issue. Bring these issues up to your therapist...possible avoidance, responsibility (and responsibility for who or what). Please keep us posted.
    Take care,

  7. #7

    creeping thoughts...

    Kels, hon, you're overloaded. This comes from a Type A personality who is always overloaded, so I know what I'm talking about. You MUST reduce your involvement in all these activities and take some time for yourself. You ARE NOT a failure. You're a good person, working hard to achieve...too hard, it appears.

    Get yourself some counselling, and include your mom as comfortzone has suggested. Get out of some of these obligations. Your mother cannot know what's going on inside you, or how her words are affecting you unless you make it clear to her that you're drowning, hon. As your therapist said, you need "me" time. We all do. Thing is, we have to take it for ourselves.

  8. #8

    creeping thoughts...

    In a much earlier thread about a high school student's depression and stress resulting from overachievement, the book The Hurried Child by David Elkind was mentioned:

    Today's parents think of their kids as Superkids, so competent and so mature that they need adults very little. Why? Because parents, who are building careers, blending families, or struggling as single parents, have no time for child rearing. Having a competent Superkid relieves these parents of guilt, but it places too much stress on the children themselves.

    The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon - Amazon
    Another book with similar points is The Myth of Maturity by Terri Apter:

    Psychologist Apter (The Confident Child) argues that we've been hanging on to an idea that's all wrong that when children finish high school or college and land a job, they instantly become autonomous, responsible adults. This "myth of maturity," insists Apter, is harming our kids. These "thresholders" (ages 18-24) appear to function as adults (whether in a job or in school), but in reality they are often in turmoil, depressed, and overwhelmed by life. Apter claims that though parents have been taught that they should end support (emotional, financial, and practical) so that their children can be independent and self-reliant, this is the wrong approach. Each chapter addresses a theme (job stress, finances, college, emotions) with stories of thresholders Apter has interviewed followed by her advice to both parents and thresholders on how to deal with the situation. Myth shatters many common notions we've held for several decades, e.g., it links eating disorders to separation anxiety and lays to rest the idea that the 18-24s are confident, happy, and sexually active beings.

    The Myth of Maturity: What Teenagers Need from Parents to Become Adults - Amazon
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  9. #9

    creeping thoughts...

    ThatLady:thank you so much for your reply. thank you for your suggestions and reminding me that having an hour of me time does not mean that I am a failure..

    Daniel:thank you for your post w/ the links and book suggestions...i'm going to try to read at least one... if I can find time :) thank you also for your earlier post....I appreciate it very much!
    How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes.

  10. #10

    creeping thoughts...

    BTW, there's no need, IMHO, to get a book about this stuff since the web has a lot of info about stressed out, overscheduled students. Also, one can sometimes get enough from a book from just from reading Amazon reviews and excerpts and using Amazon's "search inside" feature.

    Anyway, regarding overachievement, one of the best points I have read is that sometimes doing less and having more fun amounts to achieving more in the long run:

    Pressure vs. Success

    Backing away from over-heated schedules doesn't merely save time, money, and your sanity. They truly are not worth the emotional or physical effort. Remember the parable of the tortoise vs. the hare? I've heard hundreds of bright, charming, "successful" and gifted high school seniors describe being burned out, disenchanted, discouraged, and so cynical about "having to do everything, and do it better and sooner than anyone else, just so I can jam myself down the throat of some collegeā€”it just makes me want to hurl." (Jake, age 17)

    The Underside of Overachievement - AOL Homework Help
    What do these stressed-out students think they're going to get out of this?

    Quote from my book from a 10th grader: 'People don't go to school to learn. They go to get good grades, which brings them to college, which brings them the high paying job, which brings them to happiness, so they think.' Students honestly believe that the better the college they go to - the better off they will be in life. This is a misconception that needs to be debunked. We have studies that show that you can go to over 100 different schools -- some folks say over 200 -- and get an excellent education and have very little variation in income 20 years later from graduates of Ivy league universities. I want students and families to believe that college is not a "trophy" and that they need to find the best match between school and student as opposed to go to the place with the most prestigious reputation.

    Q and A with Denise Clark Pope
    The Myths of High Performance

    Hard work is overrated. Superstars know when to stop working at
    their job and start playing at it. In my research and work with
    clients, I have discovered that too much practice will turn you into
    a classic case of the "over-motivated underachiever."

    ...Look around at the hordes of Ivy League alumni populating middle
    management throughout corporate America. Then count the college
    dropouts who have invented the world's most creative projects or are
    running the most innovative companies.

    Overachievement by John Eliot, PhD
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Are these OCD thoughts?
    By Cat Dancer in forum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder :: OCD
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: February 6th, 2007, 10:22 AM
  2. Just Thoughts?
    By healthbound in forum Suicide
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: March 12th, 2006, 02:12 AM
  3. Just some thoughts
    By Zippy in forum Relationships
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: January 13th, 2006, 12:43 AM
  4. thoughts
    By Klez in forum Bipolar Disorder, Cyclothymia
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: March 1st, 2005, 09:07 AM

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •