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Thread: Views??

  1. #1

    Views??

    Help! I feel like I'm about to crack!

    He knows I do not love him and he knows I'm going for counselling, yet he keeps me up until 2 and 3am asking why and wanting me to have sex with him. I know he is hurting and I know he needs to talk but this is affecting my work and during his talks he says hurtful things. I get so stressed out that I feel like my heart will explode from beating so hard.

    He always picks a weeknight to do this to me and it's usually around 11pm just before I go to bed. He does not want to let me go to bed until he has talked for 4 hours straight. He barely lets me speak a word so I've given up trying to. I can't take this from him anymore! I've tried to ignore him and tell him flat out that I won't let him do this anymore but he will physically sit on me until I sit there and listen. Is that some form of harassment?

    His conversation is a broken record. The same thing everytime. He is seeing a counsellor but I doubt it is helping.

  2. #2

    Views??

    Help! I feel like I'm about to crack!

    He knows I do not love him and he knows I'm going for counselling, yet he keeps me up until 2 and 3am asking why and wanting me to have sex with him. I know he is hurting and I know he needs to talk but this is affecting my work and during his talks he says hurtful things. I get so stressed out that I feel like my heart will explode from beating so hard.

    He always picks a weeknight to do this to me and it's usually around 11pm just before I go to bed. He does not want to let me go to bed until he has talked for 4 hours straight. He barely lets me speak a word so I've given up trying to. I can't take this from him anymore! I've tried to ignore him and tell him flat out that I won't let him do this anymore but he will physically sit on me until I sit there and listen. Is that some form of harassment?

    His conversation is a broken record. The same thing everytime. He is seeing a counsellor but I doubt it is helping.

  3. #3

    Views??

    He knows I do not love him and he knows I'm going for counselling....yet he keeps me up until 2 and 3am asking why and wanting me to have sex with him
    Why do you continue living together when you find the situation so distasteful? Are you planning for reconciliation?
    Steve

    Dum spiro spero....While I breathe, I hope

    Tourette Canada Forum

  4. #4

    Views??

    He knows I do not love him and he knows I'm going for counselling....yet he keeps me up until 2 and 3am asking why and wanting me to have sex with him
    Why do you continue living together when you find the situation so distasteful? Are you planning for reconciliation?
    Steve

    Dum spiro spero....While I breathe, I hope

    Tourette Canada Forum

  5. #5

    Views??

    No... I am seeing a counsellor and I am planning to leave. I just have a fear of leaving because of the impact it will have on the children. My partner uses that a lot in his conversation to make me feel guilty or hurt me or try to get me to stay.

    I have another appointment with my counsellor today. I can't wait... I have so much I need to ask and talk about. I am so stressed.

  6. #6

    Views??

    No... I am seeing a counsellor and I am planning to leave. I just have a fear of leaving because of the impact it will have on the children. My partner uses that a lot in his conversation to make me feel guilty or hurt me or try to get me to stay.

    I have another appointment with my counsellor today. I can't wait... I have so much I need to ask and talk about. I am so stressed.

  7. #7

    Views??

    Have you had a conversation with your children to let them know they are not the ones at fault for Mommy and Daddy no longer getting along?

    Have you had a conversation with your partner to lay the groundwork for separation?

    ..and when that conversation takes place, you might consider setting some ground rules with regard to requests for sex and each of you having your own privacy..and arrange separate sleeping quarters.

    If separation is your desire and if all possibility for reconciliation has failed, then negotiations might begin toward your respective independence..which includes separate sleeping quarters, child support and visitation agreements.
    Steve

    Dum spiro spero....While I breathe, I hope

    Tourette Canada Forum

  8. #8

    Views??

    Have you had a conversation with your children to let them know they are not the ones at fault for Mommy and Daddy no longer getting along?

    Have you had a conversation with your partner to lay the groundwork for separation?

    ..and when that conversation takes place, you might consider setting some ground rules with regard to requests for sex and each of you having your own privacy..and arrange separate sleeping quarters.

    If separation is your desire and if all possibility for reconciliation has failed, then negotiations might begin toward your respective independence..which includes separate sleeping quarters, child support and visitation agreements.
    Steve

    Dum spiro spero....While I breathe, I hope

    Tourette Canada Forum

  9. #9

    Views??

    If he physically sits on you to keep you where he can barrage you with unwanted conversation, this is abuse. Nobody has the right to impose their wishes on another person through physical means. It's that simple.

    What's the holdup in leaving? If it's the children, in my opinion they're being far more negatively affected by the tension and misery in the household than they would be by moving to a less stressful environment. They will have issues to deal with, yes. However, you can help them through those issues, in conjunction with your therapist.

    Putting off the inevitable is not making the situation easier. It's making it more difficult.

  10. #10

    Views??

    If he physically sits on you to keep you where he can barrage you with unwanted conversation, this is abuse. Nobody has the right to impose their wishes on another person through physical means. It's that simple.

    What's the holdup in leaving? If it's the children, in my opinion they're being far more negatively affected by the tension and misery in the household than they would be by moving to a less stressful environment. They will have issues to deal with, yes. However, you can help them through those issues, in conjunction with your therapist.

    Putting off the inevitable is not making the situation easier. It's making it more difficult.

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