hey everyone. im not good at this so ill just come out and explain why im here. I have been in a relationship fr the past year that just ended and has left me bewildered and confused. My ex was a drug addict and insainly manipulative. It wasnt always that way, when we met, he was trying to come clean and he adored me. but over time that all wore away. I've been doing some reading about verbal and emotional abuse...and i have a few questions. One site i found listed an example of abuse is telling someone they are lazy and irrisponsible...is it considered abuse if thats the truth and you tell them in hopes they will realise they are wasting they're lives away...
another example was in reference to trying to control them. i wanted him to quit using drugs so i got upset when he put himself in situations it would be difficult to remain clean in...is that considered abusive control...or concern.
Is it possible that because of his addictions and the way he treated me, that i in turn treated him the same way...or am i just trying to justify his opinions towards me...
please if you have any advice...id love to hear it. if its possible that my concern turned into abuse..i need to hear it. when i got upset with him for getting high, he took it as a personal attack...was he right? at my birthday he was upset because i acted more excited about my sisters gift than his and that made him feel like a bad boyfriend....he felt like a bad boyfriend for not getting the perfect gift, and i felt horrible for not being able to convince him that he did...is that normal...it sure isnt healthy...
anyway, long intro..anyone with words of wisdom..they'd be greatly aprreciated
thanks
hugs and love