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  1. #11
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    Re: Harassed and tormented in a library for sticking up for my rights?

    I think you have to make peace with the fact you will never get the answers you are looking for and let your anger go somehow. It is hard to let go of not being in control of everything, one thing that having OCD has taught me well. You have to accept that you will never know why she did what she did, you cant control how other people react to you and not everyone plays by the rules. Some people chose to get a rise out of other people because they can or because they have their own stories and there are times where there is no explanation and sort of a group mentality takes over.

    Look at how that poor bus monitor lady was abused by a group of teenagers on a bus in the United States. Who knows why they acted like that, I heard one of the fathers came forward and say he was shocked how his son acted and he hadnt raised him like that. I think in the right circumstances, some people behave badly and its hard to accept that but it is reality. All you can do is try to surround yourself with ones that care about you and will look out for you.

  2. #12
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    Re: Harassed and tormented in a library for sticking up for my rights?

    What's puzzling is that a random meeting with an inconsiderate person one year ago continues to evoke anger and frustration.

    The world is made up of people with a variety of personalities that can range from warm and responsive to impersonal and aggressive. There's no way of predicting who will react in what way, because we just don't know what's going on in another person's head.

    When someone reacts in an inappropriate or exaggerated fashion contrary to the way most people would respond in a similar situation, you almost have to assume that person is under some type of stress at best or dealing with some type of psychological pathology at worst.

    Most people would just dismiss that kind of behaviour for what it is and not be bothered by it.

    Obviously, in your case, you have been profoundly affected.

    Have there been other incidents in your life that have caused long lasting troubling effects on you, to the same extent as this incident?

    What do you think it would take to help you come to terms with this memory?

    If you were faced with a similar situation today, how do you think your would handle it? Share with us what you would say to that person, if it happened today.

  3. #13
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    Re: Harassed and tormented in a library for sticking up for my rights?

    Im sorry that happened to you! I would have done the same thing that you did, apologize, even though she didnt deserve it, and then feel angry that someone could be so rude.

    I don't know if it would help you at all, but what i tend to do with that type of situation, is pity the person instead of feeling angry at them. I would say to myself "wow, she must have a hard life if that is how she interacts with strangers" or "gee, i bet she goes home and rethinks her actions and feels horribly guilty about what she did"..anything that keeps the situation on HER instead of me. Maybe she was never taught proper manners and just really doesnt know any better. I know its a horrible feeling to be yelled at or disrespected for no reason what so ever. THe thought of that happening makes me feel sick inside. But thats just my way of not carrying around the horrible feelings that happens when someone does something like that. I think some people just have "issues" that they havent received help for yet. (or drug or alcohol issues) THe best way to win that is to try hard to not give that person another second of your thoughts, they dont deserve to be thought about

    take care!

  4. #14
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    Re: Harassed and tormented in a library for sticking up for my rights?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steve View Post
    What's puzzling is that a random meeting with an inconsiderate person one year ago continues to evoke anger and frustration.

    The world is made up of people with a variety of personalities that can range from warm and responsive to impersonal and aggressive. There's no way of predicting who will react in what way, because we just don't know what's going on in another person's head.

    When someone reacts in an inappropriate or exaggerated fashion contrary to the way most people would respond in a similar situation, you almost have to assume that person is under some type of stress at best or dealing with some type of psychological pathology at worst.

    Most people would just dismiss that kind of behaviour for what it is and not be bothered by it.

    Obviously, in your case, you have been profoundly affected.

    Have there been other incidents in your life that have caused long lasting troubling effects on you, to the same extent as this incident?

    What do you think it would take to help you come to terms with this memory?

    If you were faced with a similar situation today, how do you think your would handle it? Share with us what you would say to that person, if it happened today.
    I have a history of not letting things go easily, like the time when my dad was teaching me how to drive and he accidentally almost made me hit a pedestrian - I stayed angry with him for months and I still get worked up when I think about it.

    Maybe I'm angry that I don't have power and control over situations like this? I remember telling him again and again how angry I was that it was his fault I almost hit someone and got shouted and middle-fingered by someone.

    If I was faced with a similar situation to the library thing today, I'd probably handle it the same way because I really don't have time for stuff like that. I'd de-escalate and diffuse the situation and prevent it from getting physical at all costs. I'm not physically strong and I don't have time for legal consequences either.

    ---------- Post Merged at 09:54 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:52 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetsoleil View Post
    Im sorry that happened to you! I would have done the same thing that you did, apologize, even though she didnt deserve it, and then feel angry that someone could be so rude.

    I don't know if it would help you at all, but what i tend to do with that type of situation, is pity the person instead of feeling angry at them. I would say to myself "wow, she must have a hard life if that is how she interacts with strangers" or "gee, i bet she goes home and rethinks her actions and feels horribly guilty about what she did"..anything that keeps the situation on HER instead of me. Maybe she was never taught proper manners and just really doesnt know any better. I know its a horrible feeling to be yelled at or disrespected for no reason what so ever. THe thought of that happening makes me feel sick inside. But thats just my way of not carrying around the horrible feelings that happens when someone does something like that. I think some people just have "issues" that they havent received help for yet. (or drug or alcohol issues) THe best way to win that is to try hard to not give that person another second of your thoughts, they dont deserve to be thought about

    take care!
    Thank you

    I don't know though; if someone knows internet acronyms like "F-Y-I" I don't think modern culture and etiquette are foreign to them.

    ---------- Post Merged at 11:11 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:52 AM ----------

    I really do want closure for this situation though. I find myself returning to this library very frequently searching for this woman, but I haven't seen her since.

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