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Thread: Deadlock

  1. #1
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    Deadlock

    Hi!
    First of all - a'm not unhappy, i've just got confused in myself. I'm 21 and very lonely.

    Here is a sketch.
    1) I have no sincere friends. I have nobody whom i believe to be interesting enough to spend time with. Thougt i have some people with whom i sometimes go somewhere or just chat. But it is all out of fear to stay alone. Actually i don't need them. And the people i fancy, people, whom a really value, don't recognise me, because i'm rathes self-conscious and sociaphobic, so, i can't open, show myself as i want to. I've thied hard to fight this shyness, but it dind't work the way i wanted to.

    2) Because of my solitude i spent much time on reading, developing my personality, thinking by myself - and this made me to a very fine person. I perceive the world in a very thin, poetic and vulnerable way. I notice and feel thousands of details every moment - and this makes me be a bit too much proud of myself, of yhis quality. This builds another gap between me and other people.

    3) I have no map in my mind. I don'n know,what is really good, and what is bad. I like postmodern art.

    4) I have no boyfriend.

    5) I really hate everything i have enumerated, i want to change myself.
    The only thing i want ko keep is the ability to feel fine.

    I want to get a friendly and open-hearted person, i want to care for other people, at least to notice them. I want to get in touch with people, to find friends, to meet my love, to look into the future with hope.
    I don't want to stay in my poetic and vulnerable personal space alone any more.

    Please, could you advise me, how to act?

  2. #2
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    deadlock

    Hi!
    First of all - a'm not unhappy, i've just got confused in myself. I'm 21 and very lonely.

    Here is a sketch.
    1) I have no sincere friends. I have nobody whom i believe to be interesting enough to spend time with. Thougt i have some people with whom i sometimes go somewhere or just chat. But it is all out of fear to stay alone. Actually i don't need them. And the people i fancy, people, whom a really value, don't recognise me, because i'm rathes self-conscious and sociaphobic, so, i can't open, show myself as i want to. I've thied hard to fight this shyness, but it dind't work the way i wanted to.

    2) Because of my solitude i spent much time on reading, developing my personality, thinking by myself - and this made me to a very fine person. I perceive the world in a very thin, poetic and vulnerable way. I notice and feel thousands of details every moment - and this makes me be a bit too much proud of myself, of yhis quality. This builds another gap between me and other people.

    3) I have no map in my mind. I don'n know,what is really good, and what is bad. I like postmodern art.

    4) I have no boyfriend.

    5) I really hate everything i have enumerated, i want to change myself.
    The only thing i want ko keep is the ability to feel fine.

    I want to get a friendly and open-hearted person, i want to care for other people, at least to notice them. I want to get in touch with people, to find friends, to meet my love, to look into the future with hope.
    I don't want to stay in my poetic and vulnerable personal space alone any more.

    Please, could you advise me, how to act?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
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    deadlock

    One problem is that because you are isolating yourself you are also making it less likely to meet people who will add more color and meaning to your life. This may be the result of depressive thinking. Have a look at the following:

    http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1524
    http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1523

    Alternatively, some of the things you say in your post make me wonder about the Highly Sensitive Person -- you might find the following helpful to read:

    http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewt...hp?p=1026#1026.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
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    deadlock

    One problem is that because you are isolating yourself you are also making it less likely to meet people who will add more color and meaning to your life. This may be the result of depressive thinking. Have a look at the following:

    http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1524
    http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1523

    Alternatively, some of the things you say in your post make me wonder about the Highly Sensitive Person -- you might find the following helpful to read:

    http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewt...hp?p=1026#1026.

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