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  1. #1

    I can't do this anymore

    I cannot, cannot, cannot deal w/ my family anorme! I can't do this anymore. They are soooo overbearing and they cannot live their own lives but they are messing up everyone else's life meanwhile. My mom calls me every time I'm out, even if she knows w/ whom and where and when I'll be back (if I know...). She gives me no space. and when I say something she gets offensive and says that she just wanted to say hi or see how things were going or that she has the right to do so... it's disruptive to me going out w/ friends, it makes me anxious, it makes me mad... and she makes me feel like (insert a word) about myself every time she does this. she's so manipulative. she needs to live her own life. there isn't one peson in my family that does not have some kind of problem or issue to deal w/... and it's just so much to deal w/ all of the time. I always have to fix their problems, I'm expected to have answers, to sacrifice my life for theirs... they make me feel guilty about my own life, they think I have it all perfect... they forget that there are others out there who have it a whole lot worse than them and that they can decide to do soemthing about their situation.... I can't move out so I'm stuck here but I hate the fact they make me want to si, make me want to starve b/c I feel so empty inside, so alone, so WRONG. I MUST have done soemthing for them to get mad at me b/c of nothing. I am so exhausted from all of this I don't even try to change things anymore, only try to find the quickest way to fix things, to have them not be mad, to cover things up... I get asked why I made my mom mad even though she's mad for no reason... she does not know her limits and neither does anyone else. even if I set boundaries they're not followed. I'm being called a (insert a word) b/c ie. I didn't pick up the phone. They make me feel that I am such a bad person for what?!!? I can't make sense of this so I almost start believing it.... I can't deal w/ them anymore and my own issues... not anymore..... they have no idea.

    I just tried talking to my mom and she won't even speak to me. I don't understand why every time she can't deal w/ things she lets it out on me. why being verbally and emotionally abusive makes her feel better about herself/the situation (does it???). I can't get through to her. I am so sick and tired of this emotional rollercoaster. you never know when something will go wrong. never know when your life will be put on hold once again or when you will end up being the one blamed. I've noticed though it's not just about fighting but I feel very very bad about myself afterwards even if I know I had nothing to do w/ it. I completely withdraw. I lose joy in things. I feel disjointed w/ reality. I literally feel dead inside.

  2. #2

    I can't do this anymore

    I am so so so sorry that you are going through this, wow, I can understand. I was going through this until I moved away from my family, however to a point I am still going through it. I mean even though I do not live with them they still call me to solve problems, and my sister is still living at home and gets a lot of crap.

    I am reaching out to you and giving you my hand if you will accept it, I really wish that I could help you more, I just do not know what to say, but I do think you need to talk to someone about this.

    I am happy for you to PM me and chat if that helps at all.

    Will be thinking of you and if I think of anything to help I will be back.

    Heather

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    33
    Posts
    789

    I can't do this anymore

    Wow, that is a LOT to be dealing with! I really value my own personal space and time, I don't reckon I'd cope very well with having someone constantly checking up on me or not letting me get on with doing my own thing. It sounds like you've been making a lot of personal sacrifices for your family without reward, it's no wonder you sound tired and frustrated! I'm sorry to hear that your attempts to speak with your mum haven't worked, it's so irritating and hurtful when you try to be reasonable and rational but the other person doesn't respond. It's not fair on you to always be the one to blame, who always is the one to give in. It sounds totally emotionally exhausting. I don't really know what to suggest, but I definitely agree that you should not have to put up with this situation any more. I hope someone else can give you some ideas, I just wanted to let you know I cared.

    All the best, Eunoia..
    Meg
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." - Carl Jung

  4. #4

    Re: I can't do this anymore

    My mom does this too and im 24.. And i live 3 block down the dirt road. I understand how you feel.
    The hardest thing you can do is smile when you are ill, in pain, or depressed. But this no-cost remedy is a necessary first half-step if you are to start on the road to recovery. Allen Klein

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