l am very sorry for your losses. l lost my daughter 24 yrs ago as of Christmas 2017, and l cannot imagine your pain, as for me, it has been so long but the memories are like they happened just yesterday. l know it is very hard and my heart is with you in spirit. l know my pain is with me all of the time and especially hard during the Holidays. l was once told you have experienced a horrible loss, so there is nothing left to fear in life. l know for myself that is very true. So please accept my prayers for your loved ones...