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  1. #11

    Re: So much happening

    Thanks, MHJ. It's looking like I may have my first delinquent client on my hands, and I'm really not good with conflict. I thought I had a good relationship with these people, but apparently I've misjudged it. I knew I'd eventually have to deal with something like this, but I really hadn't expected it to be this early in the process. I'm doing research online about it, and I'm talking to a collection agency to find out what the usual procedures for this kind of thing are, and how to best handle it, but it's taking a much higher emotional toll than it would if I was feeling a bit less "exposed" after everything else that's happened in the recent past. I'm feeling overwhelmed, vulnerable, and generally inadequate to the challenge at the moment. Getting the info has helped; at least now I have a plan of "attack" if it becomes necessary. Now, if only I could stop my stomach from clenching up randomly and messing with my ability to eat, sleep, and enjoy things.....

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,518

    Re: So much happening

    Remember also, try not to take it personally... it may really not reflect any lack of good relationship building whatsoever. Absolutely every business or service will run into a certain portion of dishonest people who'll try their hand at getting something for nothing.

    All you can do is follow the best plan that you know to deal with these things, and consider it "just business". There's really nothing personal about it (even though they may try to make out such a thing); and by following your plan to try to get what you are owed, remember that you have a right and you're not doing anything dangerous or wrong.

    Glad that your research is serving you well! Man you've got gumption, and I suppose every entrepreneur has to do each thing/face each situation a first time. Gosh, it's something I do wonder about a lot, how businesspeople do all these things or how they learn it. Everyone I've ever known well has been a salaryperson/payroll, and I find business ownership or entrepreneurship absolutely baffling in a literally mythical way. Really admirable, and I have to say my knees would be knocking as hard as yours. (Not sure whether that's helpful to hear! But I definitely empathise.) Sending positive calm vibes! I do believe you will do well with it though.

  3. #13

    Re: So much happening

    It's very helpful, thank you! And thank you for your kind words. I sometimes think that entrepreneurship is as mythically baffling as you do, and wonder what the heck I'm getting myself into. I'm trying very hard not to take it personally, but you're right that they're certainly trying to make it that way. All kinds of loaded language such as "I'm not accusing" (yes, you surely are) and "don't take it personally" (which is exactly how it's supposed to be taken).

    Things escalated unexpectedly tonight. At 11:30 I got a message from them which essentially blamed all the problems they've been having, for over a year, on me. This is especially interesting since I've only been working with them for 6 months, and the things they're pointing to as the cause of the problems (which a bunch of other people recognized immediately and were all well aware of in advance, apparently) have only been in place for 5 months. I guess I'm more powerful than I thought, affecting things that didn't exist 6-7 months before I was aware of them not existing...?? Waiting until the last minute, at nearly midnight, on a Friday is also pretty loaded, as is the two of them trying to bully me in tandem. Given how this has been playing out, I suspect this isn't the first time they've pulled this little act. It's a bit too choreographed to be entirely believable at face value.

    I responded rationally, logically, with facts, information, and requests for details on exactly what the problems were that all these other people were able to spot, blindfolded. I also reminded them that the information they claim to be basing all this on is the very information that I asked them for repeatedly and didn't get. "Garbage in, garbage out." Can't make useful decisions on faulty information.

    An hour and a half later, and there's no further reply. Ideally, they'll pay and go away. If not, I guess it's collection time.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,518

    Re: So much happening

    Hey, you've done wonderfully!

    Ugh you're right, they sound pretty good at what they're doing, and I'm sure it works nicely on a certain percentage of victims. Ewww. I can't believe what deceitful, conscience-less people are willing to put others through.

    You're playing hardball calmly and reasonably like a pro. Even if things don't settle easily and quickly this time, you've proved to yourself you can navigate through it and survive it. (And hopefully it won't be TOO often.) Well done! (Of course I do hope they pay soon and go away though! :/)

  5. #15

    Re: So much happening

    Quick update. After lengthy negotiations, and some significant backtracking on their part, we split the cost. And then I fired them. I feel so much freer! I hate having to deal with untrustworthy people.

    Thank you again for your support. It's reassuring to know there's a place I can go to talk about this. It's all still very new and very overwhelming. I spend a lot of time feeling inadequate to meeting the challenge. But, one step at a time.....

  6. #16

    Re: So much happening

    And the weirdness continues. My partner was let go from his job yesterday, only a few days before the end of his probation period, for reasons that are so glaringly bogus they're nearly laughable. In hindsight it's pretty clear that they really didn't intend to keep him past his probation and just took what they could as cheaply as possible. At least he knows that he did his best, and there was nothing more he could have done to alter the outcome. In a way that's even more frustrating because it leaves him feeling so helpless. And I feel helpless because I can't do anything at all about it.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,518

    Re: So much happening

    Bah. I'm sorry Mudpuppy.

    How are his options looking after this event? Will he need some sort of support or advice to make the best of his experiences and move forward to find something new?

    It is a crazy time in history, in the world of work, it seems. At least in a lot of places in the world.

  8. #18

    Re: So much happening

    He's got a few options, fortunately. The reasons they gave were so ridiculous that he can't take them seriously enough to worry (he didn't exceed his goals by enough). The scariest part is how unpredictable it all is. He's skilled, adaptable, and hardworking, but that only seems to make him unemployable?!

    If he can't manage, how can I? He's got so much more to offer, and even that's not enough. I'm feeling so inadequate that I've been feeling sick, and numb. I have no idea what to do next.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,518

    Re: So much happening

    Please remember though that these situations don't always make sense, it's just a crazy crazy time in the world of work. And sometimes people are let go for reasons completely different from those stated - stupid unfair reasons such as jealousy, politics, etc, sometimes come into things. It sucks. Globalisation has decimated everything too, and it sometimes seems to me like the world simply has never quite gotten its bearings since then, or like we are all still struggling to make sense of it all. I know I definitely am.

    Come to think of it, when I just said "it's a crazy crazy time in the world of work", I now realise I almost want to say "it's a crazy crazy time in the world of human beings". I don't know, I feel like it probably varies from place to place, but sometimes in recent times I do wonder how many of the people we work with or work under, or the people who run things generally or even run the world, are thinking straight or operating by good values that make sense. I sometimes have experiences that suggest to me that people are struggling more with modern life and getting crazier?... I don't know. I know I've been let go from a workplace once partly because I was the least bitchy person there; it was becoming more and more clear that I didn't fit in with the dysfunction. I know someone who has to fit in with widespread corruption and dysfunction and ridiculousness, that goes right to the top, in a government/council organisation. Money doesn't have to be made and work doesn't actually have to get done. What has to happen is people have to fit in with the craziness of the powerholders. And this is what my friend does, and he stays employed.

    So I just don't know hun. I do know that out there there are still workplaces that make sense. I think a person who does have a lot to offer, simply needs to find a place where THAT is what matters. I am sure that they still exist. It is so stressful and confusing though, dealing with this world we are living in now, I do feel that that is the case. I feel sad to see times when that negatively affects good people. I'm so sorry. I hope that you guys can get by in the meantime...

  10. #20

    Re: So much happening

    It is "crazy crazy", that's for sure. I've read your response through many times in the last month, MHealthJo, and it rings truer with each reading.

    He's applied for about 20 jobs but been interviewed for only one, which he didn't get. Now the most likely job will take him 3 hours away, which will make everything but money so much more difficult. From a selfish point of view, he's a major part of my support, and I'm really not looking forward to not having him around.

    That seems so much like a giant step backwards. We'd finally managed to get him here, and now we can't even maintain that. According to all the articles on "how to be a good employee" and "things to do to get hired", there should be people lined up trying to lure him to work for them, yet he can't even get an interview for a temporary part-time position. I feel so helpless, and I feel so scared.

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