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Thread: I needed it?

  1. #11
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    Re: I needed it?

    I'm sorry Lonewolf.And I hope it wasn't the forum I told you to check out.I was only trying to help,not hurt you.I'm sorry if it was that one.

  2. #12
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    Re: I needed it?

    That was a nice thing to do LIT. Remember that you can't really predict or control what happens outside of yourself, so something negative happening from a place you recommended is not your fault, and it's hard to know all the details of a situation too.

  3. #13
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    Re: I needed it?

    LIT it's not anything you did, infact it was a nice thing you did for me and I thank you for it!! I think that sometimes I rely on something or someone too much and they cave in under the pressure!!! As these people have!! Maybe they have never tried to support someone like me! I'm quite a difficult customer, I suppose and I guess the world is very lucky that there is only one of me!!!
    In 3 words I can sum up everything I have learned about life....it goes on!!

  4. #14
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    Re: I needed it?

    Maybe it's none of those things at all,maybe you simply broke some kind of rule.

    Maybe read over the rules and see exactly what is was you did instead of beating yourself up over it. If you don't quite understand,maybe PM a mod or someone and ask.I'm sure it was as simple as breaking a rule and has nothing to do with you as a person.

  5. #15
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    Re: I needed it?

    I need to wait for the week ban to finish and then try to swallow my pride, calm down and maybe not be so trusting with other people!! Thing is I struggle to trust people and once I have to I sort of act like a bull in a china shop! I go from one extreme to the other!! I don't really understand why I do this??
    I may have over reacted to the ban!! I don't have any other support apart from these forums and I was just devastated by it because I had told them some very personal and agonising things and when they reacted this way, I felt so raw and distraught having been left alone having had my heart ripped open and left to bleed!!! By myself, alone!!!
    Thankyou guys and if i do ever do or say anything out of order please tell me and if it is felt that i need to be banned from here, let me know before i get in too deep!!!
    The one thing i can't cope with is being abandoned while I'm in up to my neck in it and need help more than ever!!!! Im petrified of having to be in this struggle by myself, alone, on my own!!
    In 3 words I can sum up everything I have learned about life....it goes on!!

  6. #16
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    Re: I needed it?

    Lonewolf,

    I cannot speak for other forums, but the the concern we have on Psychlinks is the effect posts by members can have on other members.

    We need to keep in mind that many of us can be struggling with our own issues, and that fragility can sometimes be triggered by graphic descriptions of situations that could be written to be expressed using more sensitive language.

    For example, there is no problem for a Psychlinks member revealing they have thoughts of suicide, but we do not want a graphic description of the method contemplated in the plan.

  7. #17
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    Re: I needed it?

    I think it will go fine LW. Everyone gets things wrong and has struggles. Have forgiveness for yourself. You don't need to be ashamed or judge yourself, or think that is how many others will feel. They often don't.

    Go ahead with it in a weeks time.
    You will be OK.

    I think one of the keys with trust Lonewolf is this: being able to have a good sense of trust in others is largely to do with our own positive relationship with ourselves, and knowing that we trust *ourselves* to care for ourselves compassionately when something does go wrong.

    There can always be times that people can be imperfect or surprise us. But if our relationship with ourself is positive, we still feel safer no matter what. Because we know we are there for ourselves, always, and we can use our tools and our healthy options to look after ourselves when we're in trouble.

    That does not mean we trust anyone with anything, or trust too quickly. But what it means is, we know that we have ways to look after our own emotions, and we know that we can have our own role/ impact on how we feel. We are not just totally at the mercy of the unpredictable universe. So we can enlist help sometimes and engage with people as we choose, but how we feel is not all about others too much. That makes life a lot easier and stabler.

    So that's why it is awesome for you to carry on learning LW, because that makes it safer to trust, and makes you more at the helm of your own boat. So keep on with it, you're doing great.
    Last edited by MHealthJo; April 29th, 2014 at 12:34 PM.

  8. #18
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    Re: I needed it?

    From that I guess that no one can be 100% honest on any forum!!! Suppose that's always a good thing?
    I don't intend to come across so angry and bitter, I really don't! I'm so sorry!! I can't apologise enough! Don't know what is wrong with me? Just so rattled!! I have never felt anger like this before! I don't know how to make it go away? Its not a nice thing to lose total control of infact its very frightening, like im turning into my dad!!
    In 3 words I can sum up everything I have learned about life....it goes on!!

  9. #19
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    Re: I needed it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lonewolf View Post
    I have never felt anger like this before! I don't know how to make it go away? Its not a nice thing to lose total control of infact its very frightening, like im turning into my dad!!
    Get a big bag of chipped ice and throw it against the walls,it melts and eventually dries.
    Take a plastic baseball bat and beat a couch with it.
    Beat up a pillow,you could even tape pictures to it and beat the crap out of them.
    Rip up old magazines or phone books.
    Go somewhere that nobody will hear you and scream as loud as you can.
    Write letters to people that have hurt you and then burn them.Sometimes I write letters and then shred them and put them in the sink and fill it with water until they're all soggy and them throw them away.I like doing that better than burning them,I don't know why.

    There's lots of ways to get rid of the anger inside.Just find something that works for you.It really does help.

  10. #20
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    Re: I needed it?

    From that I guess that no one can be 100% honest on any forum!!!
    There's a difference between being honest and forthcoming and managing what you disclose. The former is preferable to maintain your credibility, while the latter can protect you depending on circumstances and need to know on the part of the audience.

    I have never found an upside to dishonesty...it tends to catch up with you and ruins relationships.

    Managed disclosure is a better alternative, in my view.

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