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  1. #11
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    In regards to the young lady I asked out I have no intentions of perusing her any further. I intend to keep our relationship strictly professional. That seems like the safest and most logical solution at this point. However I can't not help but feel the attraction I've felt from the beginning. So I'm not going to kid myself by saying it doesn't hurt.. hell I don't know! What would you suggest? What I do know is I absolutely hate how I let my emotions drive so strongly what I do and feel. I hate how I analyze every little detail. I over think most every situation. I would love to pick up a book or two regarding what I've mentioned. I'm also diagnosed ADD and have been since the age of 9. However I have not been on medications for several years now. Not sure what I'm getting at. Gotta head to work and look forward to reading your responses when I get back. I'm trying to be as open and transparent as possible about all of this. I really am looking for some direction here regarding myself and the situation(which I have received so thanks) and I am more than anxious to do the work myself. Just not sure where to start.

  2. #12
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    However I can't not help but feel the attraction I've felt from the beginning. So I'm not going to kid myself by saying it doesn't hurt.
    Quote Originally Posted by Idsben
    I have no intentions of perusing her any further
    On the contrary..peruse her all you can, just don't get caught looking, only don't pursue her until she makes the first move...and only then evaluate the benefits vs risks of pursuing a relationship in the workplace with a woman who let you down once before.


    I'm also diagnosed ADD and have been since the age of 9. However I have not been on medications for several years now.
    Why have you chosen to discontinue medication therapy?

    I'm puzzled about your choice of a title for this topic "I'm like a woman"...care to elaborate?

  3. #13
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    Yeah, I've really kinda gone off topic I suppose. The title simply has to do with my personality. I'm overly sensitive and emotional. Hiding how I feel is nearly impossible. In people to people situations I'm also very intuitive to others and how they feel. This causes me to analyze and dwell on why they're feeling the way they are. This is terrible and so very problematic when said situation involves me.. because I'm personally involved my judgment is nearly always far off and I only tend to screw up the situation. I hope that makes sense. So, these are traits that the majority of women have.. hence the title, "I'm like a woman".

    I don't have a reason why I'm no longer on medication.. however it's an avenue I'm strongly considering again. I was on Ritalin before and eventually stopped taking it because it made me feel like a zombie. I suppose I could of tried other medications. I'm looking into it.

  4. #14
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    Quote Originally Posted by ldsben View Post
    Yeah, I've really kinda gone off topic I suppose. The title simply has to do with my personality. I'm overly sensitive and emotional. Hiding how I feel is nearly impossible. In people to people situations I'm also very intuitive to others and how they feel. This causes me to analyze and dwell on why they're feeling the way they are. This is terrible and so very problematic when said situation involves me.. because I'm personally involved my judgment is nearly always far off and I only tend to screw up the situation. I hope that makes sense. So, these are traits that the majority of women have.. hence the title, "I'm like a woman".
    A better title may have been "I'm highly sensitive" as an over generalization of women and their traits may just get you into a little hot water or a lot of hot water depending on the woman - just saying
    i think a doctor could help you find a medication that could help your ADD and prevent the zombie effect. Sometimes it's a matter of adjusting the dose or switching medication typs.
    Change begins when you practice ordinary courage

  5. #15
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    Agreed with RDW..to characterize women as generally being "over sensitive" is a dated and offensive concept that should smacks of chauvinism, Idsben.

    If this idea reflects your core concepts of women, consider being assessed for some guidance and perhaps counseling to identify these biases in order to modify your thinking.

    Your frank revelation makes me wonder if perhaps something may have been said to the woman being discussed that may have alerted her to your bias, thereby sinking your chance for furthering a relationship with her.

    I don't have a reason why I'm no longer on medication.. however it's an avenue I'm strongly considering again.
    A reason would be if your symptoms affect your ability to function effectively socially or professionally. If your quality of life is adversely affected by your symptoms and you are unable to manage your symptoms by yourself or with appropriate psychotherapy, then your option might be to discuss medication therapy as an option with your doctor.

    Adult ADD is a recognized disorder today, and there are effective options available.

  6. #16
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    Are not the majority of women nurturing and therefore on average more sensitive then men? This is all I was implying. I was not saying women are emotionally unstable and messed up as myself. Regardless I do apologize if the title happened to offend anyone. Thanks all for the advice and help!

    and no steve, nothing was said to offend the girl of interest.

  7. #17
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    Humans vary from one to another, male or female notwithstanding, and the facts of the matter are not necessarily widely known - but there is still a certain amount of general thinking among a lot of people that many women may tend toward more empathetic / empathic and sensitive features than many men do. So I understand what you meant Idsben. It's true though that for these sort of topics you're better off choosing a title that more just describes the thoughts and feelings in their own right, haha.

    I have no idea what research has been done on male/female differences recently though, and in the generation of millennials and below I think things may be changing a lot, perhaps also depending on where a person lives and what culture they are from, etc... so who knows, maybe only time and more research will have concrete things to say about male/female differences and tendencies.

  8. #18
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    Re: I'm like a woman

    nothing was said to offend the girl of interest
    Perhaps not, but all I suggest is that is it possible that you may have unknowingly and unwittingly made a remark or comment using words or expression that could have been misinterpreted or misread by this woman? I know from my own experience, that from time to time I say things that to me seem benign or even an attempt at humor that are interpreted by others differently from the way I intended.


    I was not saying women are emotionally unstable..Post 16
    The title simply has to do with my personality. I'm overly sensitive and emotional. Hiding how I feel is nearly impossible. In people to people situations I'm also very intuitive to others and how they feel. This causes me to analyze and dwell on why they're feeling the way they are. This is terrible and so very problematic when said situation involves me.. because I'm personally involved my judgment is nearly always far off and I only tend to screw up the situation. I hope that makes sense. So, these are traits that the majority of women have.. hence the title, "I'm like a woman".Post 13
    I was just going by what you wrote. Can you see why there might be a question about how you see women's attitudes?

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