Thanks Thanks:  7
Likes Likes:  16
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 40
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,525
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    Another thing I thought of, too. I guess if you let there be a situation where someone is allowed to use then ignore and discard you, I guess you're still letting them treat you as below them and not of worth. Even if it led to nothing else bad from that particular person, it could have you letting your boundaries feel lower in other vulnerable situations. And what you need is your feelings of worth and your boundaries to stay strong, strong, strong.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    Quote Originally Posted by jollygreenjellybean View Post
    "I have to remind you that you did not always protect me, but sometimes threw me into harm's way to protect yourself. Although, on some level I understand why you did that when you were a child, because who would want to be tortured like that? It was probably an act of desperation. But now that I am an adult, I am still having issues wondering why you would use me to protect yourself then, and why you are still using me to protect yourself again as an adult. I have a difficult time believing that I would have done the same things you did to me if our situations were reversed. I think I would protect you instead of allowing you to be abused. If anything, when we were growing up, I was used, when convenient for you, by you, to protect YOU. I was the one left by myself so you could escape. I no longer want to serve you as some kind of escape valve: I am a human being with feelings and I have my own issues."
    I cannot stop crying now,since reading that. I was imagining myself saying it to her as I was reading it.That's exactly how I feel and exactly what I would like to say to her.

    Maybe I do need to say it....

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    Posts
    2,020
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    *hugs* LIT!!! ♥

    I hope you are okay, I sure didn't mean to make you feel bad.

    Well, you don't have to say anything you are not ready for. And if you want to run it past your therapist first, that would probably be wisest.

    Remember, I am at a different part of my journey of healing. These are things I might say, but it doesn't mean you have to say them.

    Any doubts or wavering: check in with your therapist, hun.

    I am making some assumptions from what you have posted previously in other threads, and I am going by my gut here. Which is why I strongly recommend talking to your therapist before you do anything.

    At least, if you do feel you want to say that to her, you can print it off or save it for a time when you feel strong enough to say it. Make sure you have back-up, so to speak. That is, a good support system, your hubby, therapist, etc. ♥
    (Formerly JollyGreenJellyBean)

    My dog is a human whisperer.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    Don't worry,I'm fine.

    When I read what you said,it just really struck a chord and I don't know,I guess it made me feel sad for myself and what I went through as a kid. Not sorry for myself,but sad. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like it was me that went through it, sometimes it feels like it was some other kid that did,and when I read that,I felt like I did back then when it was happening, and all that sadness whooshed through my body. And right now it does feel like it was me and not some other kid.

    ---------- Post Merged on September 22nd, 2014 at 08:00 AM ---------- Previous Post was on September 21st, 2014 at 08:28 PM ----------

    I guess I could have just said when I read what you said it made me feel a connection to what I went through,which I have been having problems doing.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    Posts
    2,020
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    Wow. Definitely run this past your therapist... When stuff comes up like that it can be overwhelming to try to deal with it on your own...

    You seem to be handling it very well, from what I see you have posted... But hang on to your husband and anyone else who can give you comfort... ♥
    (Formerly JollyGreenJellyBean)

    My dog is a human whisperer.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    I really am okay JGJB,so no need to be concerned about it or anything.

    Even though I still feel sad about it,I actually feel grateful to be able to connect to it and feel the feelings.

    Thank you,by the way...

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    Posts
    2,020
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    Aw, you're welcome! ♥ And thank you for the sweet PM. ^_^
    (Formerly JollyGreenJellyBean)

    My dog is a human whisperer.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    Posts
    2,020
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    Hey LIT, how are you doing? ♥
    (Formerly JollyGreenJellyBean)

    My dog is a human whisperer.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    My sister called me again.Out of habit I automatically took the call.She has some stuff going on and once again she wanted to use me as a sounding board.But after I listened to what it was and gave my 'words of wisdom'(ha) I made it clear that I am going through a lot myself and I simply don't have the time or head space to deal with anything or anyone else.I feel pretty good about the way I handled it and I am not feeling at all like I did last time it happened.


    I am glad I talked about it here.Thanks for the help guys.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    Posts
    2,020
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Confused About My Sister

    YAY! That's great to hear!

    (Formerly JollyGreenJellyBean)

    My dog is a human whisperer.

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Disclaimer: PsychLinks is not responsible for the content of posts or comments by forum members.

Additional Forum Web Design by PsychLinks
© All rights reserved.