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  1. #11
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    I don't think there are any answers. Not really.

  2. #12
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    No. There are plenty of answers. I'm not convinced you want to hear them tonight though.

  3. #13
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    I'd like to hear them, if possible??

  4. #14
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    You've already heard them... in this thread and a few others.

  5. #15
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    I guess that is true for me about the answers. That I've heard them. Sometimes things get all mixed up inside.

    I'm really sorry for what I posted today. I guess I am discouraged about things that keep happening. I keep working to get to the right place and trying to do the right things (take medication, go to therapy, counter the negative thoughts and challenge all my thoughts really) and the awful thoughts still are there. And it's scary. I guess I thought/hoped I would feel better or see some kind of change by now or at least some of the thoughts would be less scary or easier to deal with or something like that.

    I'm really sorry.

  6. #16
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    Janet, you don't owe us any apologies. The one you must apologize to is yourself. When you beat yourself down, and let others beat you down, you do yourself a disservice. It's to you the apology is owed, and for that reason.

    You MUST take care of yourself. You MUST do what you know is right for you. You're an intelligent young woman with a beautiful child of whom you can be very proud. You know the answers to your own questions. You simply don't care to see them right now.

    Taking medications and going to therapy are the easy parts of recovery. Those are the things we can do without much effort. The hard parts involve a lot of work, and a lot of that work is very, very scary work. Yet, it's work we have to do.

    We have to go on when we don't think we can. We have to keep trying when it seems the mountain is too high to climb. We have to force ourselves to honor ourselves and to begin to insist that others honor us, as well. That's the hard part, and it doesn't come easily; nor, does it come quickly. It takes concerted effort over time.

  7. #17
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    I just wanted to try to clarify something. When I said I didn't think there were any answers, I meant to this question:

    Quote Originally Posted by Janet
    I keep thinking maybe all my thoughts are distorted or maybe none of them are distorted, but how can only some of them be distorted?
    I didn't mean that I thought there weren't any answers to getting well. And I do care to hear the answers if there are any. But maybe it's just the way the brain works.

    What is hard is figuring out, in the heat of a moment, what is distorted and what is not distorted. It's confusing and it's frightening and sometimes maybe someone just needs to hear once more that suicide is NOT a rational thing or an answer. Maybe they're reaching out and they need to hear it just once more. Maybe hearing that once more WILL make a difference in that moment. Because that is all we really can do is try to make it from moment to moment sometimes.

  8. #18
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    Suicide is NEVER, NEVER, NEVER the right answer. It's ALWAYS a distorted thought. There are no exceptions, except as David mentioned - the person who is doomed by a painful, debilitating and incurably terminal illness.

    While depression is painful, and debilitating, it is not incurable. Thankfully, there is treatment. It's not a death sentence, like some diseases we might have. We're actually very fortunate that we live in the time we do, when things like those we suffer with can be treated and cured.

    I agree that it's difficult, when things are piling up in your head, to sort through the thoughts and try to find those that make sense and those that obviously don't. Yet, it can be done if one will keep always in the forefront of one's mind that suicide doesn't make anything better, EVER. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and that just doesn't make sense.

  9. #19
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    Janet,

    Distorted thoughts are thoughts that we learn about our life, ourselves and others. They seem real enough and yet they are based upon misinformation. An examples of distorted thinking include labeling, magnification, personalization, "should" or "must" statements, blaming and fallacy of change. You will find that we all use these at one time or another. Awareness of what you are doing is important as this gives you the opportunity to change.

  10. #20
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    Re: Considering suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options

    Quote Originally Posted by Janet
    But maybe it's just the way the brain works.
    That was exactly my point, Janet. It IS the way your brain works... when you're in the grips of depression. And what that means it that's the way your brain works when it is distorting reality. It's just not real.

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