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  1. #11
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    Smile Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    Quote Originally Posted by Scottish Joan
    Surely I am not wrong to want my girls to bundle up from cold though?
    Joan,

    There is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting the best for your daughters, however, can you see that perhaps, through your intense desire for their welfare, you may be inadvertently exercising unreasonable control over various aspects of their lives?

    As I mentioned elsewhere, I do not have first hand parenting experience, so my comments are based solely on having read your recent discussions, from an adult's perspective.

    Could you help us understand what the consequences might be if you allowed your daughters to make many of the choices on their own with regard to the concerns you have expressed in this and your other discussion about their bedtime?

    Have you noticed that they really need to have a strict schedule for task completion or can they get things done on their own?

    For example, do you think these young women would recognize if and when they felt too cold for an open jacket that they would, on their own, zip them up?

    With regard to bedtime, and scheduling, do you think it would work for your daughters if you gave them the broad strokes of the "house rules", say, getting their agreement that 8:30 is bedtime and lights out and agreement on the tasks that need to be completed by that time, and letting them plan how and when they will complete the tasks.

    Same thing for the morning..have to be out the door at 8:45 and get agreement on how long it takes to get ready, and let them arrange their scheduling for preparations.

    By doing it this way, I think they will learn important life lessons about organizing their lives in order to meet specified goals and deadlines.

    They may have difficulty at first, but these are learned skills that are important in later life, such as in their higher learning years and into their workplace routines.

    These helpful resources may offer additional suggestions:

    12 Ways to Develop Your Childs Organizational Skills | Parents | Scholastic.com

    Help Your Child Get Organized
    Attached Files Attached Files

  2. #12
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    Tbh, both girls are quite good in morning and don't really need a routine, what I posted in my other discussion was a draft of what I would like the routine to be.

    It does take time for the girls to fully waken which is fine but main thing about routine is, its a must that they leave house no later than 0845 as it takes them 5-10mins to get to school.

    Steve, you say "do you think these young women would recognise if and when they felt too cold for an open jacket that they would, on their own, zip them up?"

    Answer to that is no because girls could be shivering yet still not know that they are cold.

    Let me tell you a story which may explain why I am always making sure the girls are bundled up.

    About a month or two ago, both Caitlyn and Nicole went on a camping weekend with Brownies and weather all weekend was bitterly cold and wet at times.
    One very bitterly cold and very rainy day (Heavy rain), the brownies went on a walk so had to wrap up warm so both girls had a t-shirt and jumper on but were still cold so put on their waterproof jackets and put up the hoods but were still cold, Caitlyn did zip her jacket right up to the top but Nicole didn't because her hands were that frozen that she couldn't feel them and she was to shy to ask anyone, including her own sister.
    When brownies got back to camp, Caitlyn saw that Nicole was crying so went over to her and said "whats wrong?", Nicole said "I am freezing Caitlyn", Caitlyn hugged her and said to her "you silly girl, you should have zipped your jacket then", Nicoles teary response was "I couldn't because my hands were frozen (the girls don't wear gloves)", so Caitlyn said "you should have told me then because I could have zipped it for you, I am your sister so will always look after you".

    So, now you can see/understand why I am always making sure the girls are bundled up when necessary.

  3. #13
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    These past 2 days have been very, very warm so Caitlyn and Nicole have been outside playing.

    Anyway, on Monday, I went to collect girls from School (on a rainy day) and as per usual, both girls came out with just t-shirts so, as I normally do, I got both girls' jackets out of their bags and put them on girls and, because I didn't want a battle on my hands, I zipped up the jackets but that wasn't easy because both girls were wriggling and fidgeting about but I got the jackets zipped then firmly told girls "when its raining you MUST have AND zip up these jackets"


    A parent then came up and said to me "come on lady, you are so fixated with your girls and zipping their jackets, you are not letting them learn the hard way", I snapped and shouted to the parent "Hey, my children so my decisions on how to parent so I'd appreciate if you'd stop interfering in my parenting!" For what its worth, my girls suffer from cold/wet weather so my FIXATION on zipping their jackets actually protects their health!!".

  4. #14
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    If it's been very,very warm then why must they wear jackets AND have them zipped?The rain would probably feel pretty good.

  5. #15
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    Quote Originally Posted by LIT View Post
    If it's been very,very warm then why must they wear jackets AND have them zipped?The rain would probably feel pretty good.
    I agree.

  6. #16
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    I said its been very warm these PAST TWO DAYS, Monday was three days ago!

  7. #17
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    It's still Wednesday here.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #18
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    Quote Originally Posted by LIT View Post
    If it's been very,very warm then why must they wear jackets AND have them zipped?The rain would probably feel pretty good.
    As I said, its to protect their health and as for zipping them up, that is because I prefer the jackets zipped, the jackets have zips for a reason.

  9. #19
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    Re: Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    What about their mental health?Is all the fuss over keeping their jackets on and zipped worth it?I guess I could understand if they were toddlers but they're 8 years old.I am sure they are quite embarrassed over it if it is bringing so much attention to them that another parent has tried to speak up in their defense.

    Do they also have to button their shirts all the way up or have to keep things in every pocket?Aren't buttons and pockets there for a reason too then?

  10. #20
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    Parents that don't dress kids properly for weather!

    Hello Joan,
    Do you have someone you trust, whom you can discuss your parenting approaches with, just to make sure you are acting in the best interest of your children and not letting personal challenges in the way of parenting? Would that be a counsellor/therapist, relative, or their father?
    As a parent, I think you need help.

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