Thanks Thanks:  37
Likes Likes:  32
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    You Never Forget

    After all of these years of therapy,working through all the abuse and traumas from the past,I have come to the realization that you never forget.

    I guess I was hoping there would be a time where I would just stop thinking about it,that the past would just be the past and I would never take a look back again.It doesn't work that way,unfortunately,but you do get to a point where the past doesn't control the present,where your reactions are no longer those of that abused child,where the thoughts and memories are just thoughts and memories and don't define who you are anymore,where you accept what happened instead of avoiding it and running from it and finally let yourself grieve all the losses and pick yourself up and move on with your life.

    But you never forget.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    500
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    Thanks for sharing, LIT. I hope letting yourself grieve allows you to find more peace. In my understanding, the good thing about grieving is that there is this certain time, when you allow yourself to experience these strong emotions resulting from the trauma, to somehow express them, address them and the ways they hinder your life, which hopefully frees you from leaving them hidden, like underwater rocks, that trip you all the time. Hopefully, one finds inner peace after processing the trauma and realizing their value of a precious human being.
    I just wanted to add, it is true that you never forget very traumatic, painful experiences, but simultaneously, you remember the really good times as well. There is a place in your memory for joyful and happy moments from the past, and there is no reason to let the painful ones dominate. At, least, that is how I try to look at it.

    ---------- Post Merged at 01:04 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:24 PM ----------

    When I have a chance, I am going to read "The Drama of the gifted child" by Alice Miller:

    The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition: Alice Miller: 9780465016907: Amazon.com: Books

    I think it is worth reading this book, as it relays Miller's own experiences and conclusion, according to the reviews.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    I wish it was as easy as choosing to not let the painful memories dominate,but...I have PTSD.

    The point of my post I guess was just to acknowledge that although I have done a lot of healing work in therapy,which I am proud of,and have made so much progress,the simple fact is you don't ever forget.And I accept that too.

    ---------- Post Merged at 05:38 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:58 PM ----------

    It is easier to deal with the memories now,I don't get lost in them like I used to.I am able to distinguish between then and now,something I really struggled with before.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    6,448
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    It is good to hear that you able to deal with the memories now and not get so lost

    No no one forgets never but not letting the emotions take you away that is what i am working on now so it is good to hear there is hope

    Thanks LIT
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    The thing is,forgetmenot,which I am sure you already know,is you have to face everything from the past no matter how hard,painful or scary it is.

    Once I did,and all the old feelings came out that were locked away deep inside of me,things started changing.It set me free.

    Good luck,it is very hard work,but where there's a will,there's a way.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    500
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    I don't know, LIT. I understand what you said, but I guess people try to do what works for them. Maybe it is what worked for your and others with PTSD symptoms. I really admire your courage and determination, as overcoming past trauma is a very difficult thing to do, regardless of the exact approach.

    For myself, I am not sure I want to face everything from the past. Best case scenario, this will send me back, living in the past and re-living everything that happened, analyzing it all from my current perspective. I am not sure I should apply my current personality to interpreting the past, as I was somewhat a different person in the past. I was a child, or immature, careless, whatever. I know, I have evolved now and in a sense, I am not this person from the past, nor my circumstances are the exact same as in the past. With time, everything changes, people constantly grow and develop. I understand how childhood trauma has the potential to significantly affect one's future, but at the same time, I have come to realize that I am not a prisoner of the past. I am free and developing, and just as I can change many other aspects of my life, I have the power to get rid of an abusive past. Some people could have been mean, abusive, sick and used me as an outlet for all their problems. Too bad for them, I have done nothing wrong to cause this misbehaviour. I suffered then, and you know what: I refuse to suffer now and for the rest of my life. I know who I am and what I deserve and I refuse to let some sick people from my past rob me from the gift of life, from all I have and all I have the potential to achieve.
    My life is mine, and no one is entitled to spoil it forever. In a way, my philosophy is: Let the bad people rot and be forgotten, this way they lose any power over you.
    Remember the good people and the good times and let them energize you and empower you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    35,767
    Mentioned
    22 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    For individuals with PTSD, PrincessX, it's not as easy as that. They don't want to get pulled back into the past. But without therapy they feel powerless to stop it from happening. When the memories or partial memories come, or when the person is triggered, it's as if they get pulled back to the traumatic experience or experiences at whatever psychological age they occurred. Therapy helps them face and manage the memories as an adult.

    We still don't really know why trauma affects different people differently, or why some develop PTSD while others do not.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    500
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    Thank you. I don't have PTSD, and to be honest, I have no idea what is it like to live with PTSD.
    I do have a somewhat difficult past though and I was trying to broadcast some quick fix empowering strategies that I try to get to work for me.
    You are right. I think I should have developed PTSD, but I somehow didn't, I don't know why. I have had an abusive parent , sexual abuse from a stranger in childhood, poverty, traumatic, sudden death of my father.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    6,448
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    I can connect to what you say thought PrincessX i too am a different person i am not that person from past
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,415
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: You Never Forget

    I am not that person from the past either,I am not a child,of course,but I did have to accept that all those things did happen to ME,not someone else(which was the way I coped as a child).

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Disclaimer: PsychLinks is not responsible for the content of posts or comments by forum members.

Additional Forum Web Design by PsychLinks
© All rights reserved.