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Thread: Escapism

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    Escapism

    hi everyone
    i wasnt here for a long time. i did not feel well at all. and it's just 5 days i am feeling better, after more than 3 months feeling awful and the last 3 weeks being suicidal.
    finally i realized something important about my condition and when i started accepting that, i felt better.it is ESCAPISM. i think it is a part of having Avoidant Personality Disorder.

    i have some abilities but i have not been able to work for a long period. i also cant study or even read books which i love so much. i have been always confused why i want these things so much but at the same time i cant do them.when i want to read a book that i love very much, even before opening the book i feel too anxious to bear that i just put it down and try to do something to decrease the awful anxiety which is usually overeating and watching rubbish TV programs and trying to get attention from my family or even men ,which is almost always a disaster because i ALSO have huge problems in relationships. then i feel more depressed and lonely and my self-esteem goes even lower than it was.

    before those 3 nasty weeks, something big has been happening in my life and i was partly aware that i wanted to run away from the anxiety and pain it was creating for me. well, my psychoanalyst had told me it was time for me to be away from mum and become independent. i have a small flat in a small town half an hour from Tehran( which i have always lived), so i decided to go stay there but he said i must do it slowly. so i started by staying just one day with mum and slowly increased the time. but then after the new year( our year begins in spring), i knew it was time to stay longer and alone. that made me feel so anxious and depressed.then i became too depressed and suicidal for 3 weeks to be able to go there at all!!!!!... in the last days, when talking with my doctor, asked him why he thought i was feeling that bad. he replied:" i think when you feel you can not tolerate or manage something you unconsciously choose deeper depression so that you can avoid the pain and stress."

    that seemed very true.

    then i realized i have always used this strategy since my childhood, by day dreaming all the time and overeating. it is so painful but my life has always been too painful to bear. so it was my defense. abuses, PTSD ,neglect , insults , religious pressures etc.

    then 5 days ago, i came here, my own flat, and have been trying to stop escaping pain. as you say in your culture, it is my cross to bear and everybody has their own! it has been good so far and i feel proud of myself that i am escaping escapism!!!!... but it is new to me and i am so worried that after some days i may quit. i think this is an important part of my therapy and i want it to continue. may be that is why i am writing here so that i could get feed backs and help.

    i have been eating less, studying English,translating, taking care of my skin and even i have started learning Spanish and improving my French!.... i feel so anxious most of the time but i do these things anyway!!!!....

    so if any of you know any other ways to escape escapism please inform me.
    thanks for reading.
    Ana

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    Re: Escapism

    i am sorry my mind not all with me today but i think we all try to escape in different ways to avoid pain and difficulties in ones life

    small steps like your therapist said take small steps to help you face whatever it is that causes your anxiety Face the task slowly break it down into smaller pieces so you don't look at the whole task at once.

    Therapy have someone to talk to when you feel overwhelmed someone that can guide you through steps to take instead of running from them

    Hope this makes sense take care
    Words always stay inside ones soul

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    Re: Escapism

    So happy to hear these things you are doing Anahita. That's really great and I hope you can feel some pride in this! Great work!

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    Re: Escapism

    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    i am sorry my mind not all with me today but i think we all try to escape in different ways to avoid pain and difficulties in ones life

    small steps like your therapist said take small steps to help you face whatever it is that causes your anxiety Face the task slowly break it down into smaller pieces so you don't look at the whole task at once.

    Therapy have someone to talk to when you feel overwhelmed someone that can guide you through steps to take instead of running from them

    Hope this makes sense take care
    thanks a lot. yes ,i need to do these things. i'll try.

    ---------- Post Merged at 10:38 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:37 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by MHealthJo View Post
    So happy to hear these things you are doing Anahita. That's really great and I hope you can feel some pride in this! Great work!
    thanks, but u really think so? i mean i am 42 and i cant even earn money!

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    Re: Escapism

    Yes Anahita, you're doing great.

    What ForgetMeNot said, I agree with.

    I'd fight escapism by honing my mental focus on things I love doing. You're up with some stuff that seem to keep you busy. I say you keep at them. You've heard it many times before: Do what you love doing. It's about getting *engaged* in that something. When something keeps me engaged, I just let it block everything else (including bad thoughts), so I'd get to focus on it only, and that makes me happy. But there's still the effort to shoo those bad thoughts. It's a balanced thing. What's important is I keep myself engaged.

    To me, doing what I love is a skill and privilege, to "connect" with an activity that keeps my soul alive. If I can do it with only *one* thing, then I know I can be happy with anything else I'd get interested in.

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    Re: Escapism

    Quote Originally Posted by ethanbridges View Post
    Yes Anahita, you're doing great.

    What ForgetMeNot said, I agree with.

    I'd fight escapism by honing my mental focus on things I love doing. You're up with some stuff that seem to keep you busy. I say you keep at them. You've heard it many times before: Do what you love doing. It's about getting *engaged* in that something. When something keeps me engaged, I just let it block everything else (including bad thoughts), so I'd get to focus on it only, and that makes me happy. But there's still the effort to shoo those bad thoughts. It's a balanced thing. What's important is I keep myself engaged.

    To me, doing what I love is a skill and privilege, to "connect" with an activity that keeps my soul alive. If I can do it with only *one* thing, then I know I can be happy with anything else I'd get interested in.

    yes,i know what u mean. i love learning languages and translating and books.
    thanks

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