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  1. #51
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    Re: How to Care for and Cope With a Bipolar Spouse

    I guess noise cancelling headphones would be an inappropriate response to others arguing.

  2. #52
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    Re: How to Care for and Cope With a Bipolar Spouse

    Today was also his birthday. He later said I ruined the day for him and it was the worst birthday of his life because of me. It's like being an unappreciated employee where I have to understand my boss's challenges, but he doesn't understand mine.

    When these bad days happen, I feel stupid for staying with him, and I wish I was dead. Even if he has no choice but to act this way, I don't have the resources to deal with this on my own.

    Hopefully, I can use this as an impetutus to get a local job since my fear of COVID-19 has vanished after the way I was treated today -- since life seems quite unhappy now.

  3. #53
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    How to Care for and Cope With a Bipolar Spouse

    I'm sorry to hear that, Daniel.

    Relationships are not easy. Relationships which include bipolar disorder can be especially difficult since you are often put in the position of being a caretaker and a peacemaker as well as a spouse.

    I don't want to over generalize my comments. Some bipolar relationships do certainly work but they work when the bipolar partner is consistently compliant with medication, doesn't mix it with other substances, and remains in regularly scheduled therapy. From what I understand, when that happens, if it happens at all, it's because you insist on it and monitor it, putting you essentially in the role of parent as well as caretaker and spouse.

    It's not an enviable position for anyone to be in.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  4. #54
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    Re: How to Care for and Cope With a Bipolar Spouse

    Since I am losing hope, I think I am done trying to be his caregiver for mental issues anyway. The resentment just continues to build, especially since I often feel just as lonely as I did before I got married (if not more so).

    The marijuana or his own self-focus also makes it hard for him to remember things, causing arguments. He angrily told me earlier this week to return a $20 foam roller (that my doctor recommended) to Amazon since I have never used it, even though I have used it in front of him before (and when he was sleeping). And I told him, even if I never used it, I bring in way more money than you do anyway, and I don't spend $100 a week on marijuana. He later apologized, but he doesn't understand what I have to go through with my own mental health issues. (Who tells someone with a history of suicide attempts to stop wasting money on seeing a therapist? At least now, there are no-copays on mental health for the rest of the year, and next year the co-pays will only be $20.)

    In any case, I "see" my new psychiatrist on Monday, and I will be asking him to refer me to a therapist. My biggest problem now may be a general sense of hopelessness -- being tired of dealing with OCD and depression along with "problems of living."
    Last edited by Daniel; October 23rd, 2020 at 12:28 AM.

  5. #55
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    Re: How to Care for and Cope With a Bipolar Spouse

    Sorry to hear that Daniel, it sounds like a really difficult situation. Putting yourself first is definitely for the best. Him being unwell doesn't mean that you have to put up with being treated poorly or being blamed for things that are his responsibility.

  6. #56
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    Re: How to Care for and Cope With a Bipolar Spouse

    Next time there is a blowup, I think I am going to try to reframe his symptoms as anxiety or OCD so I can relate to him better. He does have a laser focus like I do for things that are not ideal.

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