I have a story about my experience with ativan.
I had been taking it for several years (5-6 years?) "as needed" and found it to be helpful with anxiety and sleeping. My girlfriend was on it too. I had
once met a lady who did research on medications and their addictive-ness. She expressed concern about my situation with ativan because it can be very addictive and the withdrawal affects involve anxiety so you may be apt to take ativan to ease that. I have had doctors and pharmacists mention this too.
My girlfriend and I had always wished we were on less drugs and occasionally removed a drug just to see. We just didn't like feeling so dependent on them. I think a lot of people can get that feeling on occasion
When I spoke to my family doctor about it she said she really wasn't worried about me and the amount I was using so I should continue as I have been. So I did.
About 3-4 years ago I noticed casually that I didn't ever seem to feel OK or good about the day. That I was agitated without relief. Not in a major
way...just always. I started having more trouble with people, social encounters at work and elsewhere. I couldn't put my finger on it and sometimes I did feel kind of OK but never ever good. I damaged relationships, burned bridges and probably should have been fired. I was getting more antisocial, sullen or angry. Unhappy depressed ill-at-ease. Not majorly depressed as it had been in the past but unhappy in my head. I resented having to interact with people.
This went on and I was put on reduced duties at work and often couldn't even talk to people. Or if I had to I was not that pleasant. I just wanted to curl up into dust and blow away. I couldn't even have a constructive conversation with my doctors about how I felt. I can't imagine I was the most wonderful person to live with. And I know I was truly unhappy. I used to think about it and try to remember the last time I felt a contented sense of peace or even a little true happiness.
Then something happened. I ran out of Ativan and couldn't get anymore for a couple of weeks. I figured I would survive and did not ask my doctor to write a new prescription. I thought there might even be a benefit to being off of it for a bit.
At first there was a light agitation for a week but nothing terrible like I'd had with other drugs. So I stayed with it. I went from 2-3 pills a day to one
pill every few days. Even when I could get it from the pharmacist again, I took it rarely. I began to feel better. It was gradual and I can't say which day I started feeling better. But one day I was walking out of my apartment building in the morning to go to work. It was a pleasant spring day and I realized that for the first time in years I felt this nice sense of peaceful contentment. Over the next few weeks I felt better about dealing with people at work. Even those who I had legitimate issue with it just didn't seem worth focusing on and I greeted them in passing.
I found it easier to find pleasure in social contact. I felt more OK about different aspect of myself and my life. I wasn't "born again" but I was a little
relieved. The ease with which I could approach life was a little life altering after having so long in this really bad place. It just made life a little easier to live.
I had been dependent on ativan for a long time and was sustaining the dependency by taking it more and more.
Nothing else changed in my life to explain this transition. I still get depressed or agitated sometimes but never as long or as intense as it had been for
those years. I might take an ativan every few days. If I feel anxiety I just wait it out and it usually passes within 30 minutes or so. As often as anything now it is caused my sugars being off(diabetes). It is bearable now.
So this was my story. I am not fixed. Maybe there is something in it for you but please don't put too much into it or try to find an unhealthy parallel in your own life. Just be aware. Your story is different from mine. See your doctor if you have questions or thoughts about your meds. It took me a lot of years and a simple accident to discover it.
Whatever your story is I hope you can find some type of peace and happiness to live by.
FYI: I still take my other meds but tried this path because the drug was "as needed".