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  1. #1

    I'm getting nervous to the point of paranoia

    This may or may not be related to my dysphoria, but I'm getting really defensive recently. And since I like sci-fi and Star Wars, this manifested in a really weird way. I research apocalypse survival and military stuff to comfort myself. I mean, I was always defensive, but now it has got to a point that I get suspicious of everyone. Not that I think they do anything to hurt me, but to get my in trouble with teachers or the law. I'm also terrified of people misjudging me, since it has happened in elementary school with pretend fighting. The more news stories about people getting sued, the more scared I get. Where do these fears and paranoias come from? What do I do about them?

  2. #2

    Re: I'm getting nervous to the point of paranoia

    I'm not sure a question like that can be answered online / from a distance, certainly not without more specific information about you and other aspects of your life.

    How long have these feelings been with you? When did they first start and what was happening in your life when they did?

    How old were you then and how old are you now?

    What is your life like? Do you have many friends? Do you live alone or with family? What do you do in your spare time?

    Do you play a lot of online games? Do you use any recreational drugs?

    Do you have any medical issues, or mental health conditions? You mentioned dysphoria - what did you mean by that? Are you seeing a counselor or taking any medications prescribed by your doctor(s)?

  3. #3

    Re: I'm getting nervous to the point of paranoia

    I'm 14 and I've had these feelings a year ago for a few months then it went away. But now it has resurfaced, possibly due to distress from my gender disphoira(bio male but strongly questioning). I don't have many friends cause by the time I caught up with society people already had close friendships. I live with my family, never touched a drug before. My parents think this is not a problem and that I just need to understand society better. I was never able to form friendships when I was young because I came from China without much English skills. Even before that I was moving around a lot so no old friends. I started to grow apart from a few friends i had recently. It feels like those friendships were superficial. Once we ran out of things to talk about we drifted apart. I've never seen a doctor or mental health professional because I can't get access to one by myself. How did this start? I had a friend (he moved away) and we both liked fantasy and sci if a lot. So we talked about adventures and fighting all the time. Once we were caught acting it out and I got a phone call home. We weren't hitting each other or anything. Mostly lightsabers and spaceships.

    ---------- Post Merged at 10:43 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:19 PM ----------

    I'm probably overeactting because I've always been the nice guy that follows the rules and never gets in trouble. I didn't even get suspended once in my life. Probably getting in trouble for the first time surprised me that's all.

    ---------- Post Merged at 11:20 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:43 PM ----------

    My disphoira played a big role in this too. It caused some distress because my body doesn't match with my brain so I'm constantly afraid of being misjudged. This probably is what revived my old fears (I'm also pretty insecure right now). The fear and nervousness mostly came from the disphoira I just got distracted by fear of getting in trouble.

  4. #4
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    Re: I'm getting nervous to the point of paranoia

    Sorry that you have been feeling dysphoria and fears, ARC. It's stressful and hard, feeling like that.

    Yes, it can definitely be scary, stressful or offputting to get in any kind of 'trouble' from any sort of authority figure, when your pattern of life has been to really take care to follow the rules and stay out of trouble. Thinking back on when I was young, I can definitely relate to that. So perhaps it has left you with a bit of a frightened or worried feeling that is playing itself out in your mind in various ways. It's good that you found a place to chat about this.

    And humans thrive the most and feel less anxious or worried when they are getting a feeling of acceptance, warmth, and belonging from others, and a certain sense of reasonable safety and security. When you have dysphoria in that way and perhaps have some feelings of aloneness or maybe you have mostly kept it a secret, and you have some thoughts of possibilities or worries of being misjudged or disliked or treated negatively, any situation like that for any reason can be a contributor to feelings of anxiety or worry that might play out in different ways. Being different and not blending in when you were young, as well as moving a lot, must have been hard. Sometimes our mind or feelings start to focus on things that feel a bit similar to something hard that we already experienced before.

    Sometimes also, different parents just were raised in different ways or come from various different cultural circumstances, and if their parents were not very good at showing a good amount of unconditional acceptance, warmth, love, approval etc to them, and being supportive and helpful to them in lots of different ways, then our parents might not learn those things well and might in turn not have the best skills of giving that feeling to us. Sometimes parents also do not have the best skills at being reassuring and comforting and helpful about stress, worries, problems, or difficult feelings. You say you would not be able to get mental health support by yourself - are your parents sometimes a little bit sort of, not very helpful when you have a problem? Like maybe they might not seem very interested or understanding if you at some time felt you might really benefit from that? I hope that at some stage if you felt that might be a good idea, you would try to push for it. I know though that sometimes people from Asian cultures can be not very informed or open to these things. Please know that your general doctor might be able to set something up for you, or there are also groups that cater to people from Asian cultures to help them find support more easily. Please let us know if sometime you might like us to have a look around and see if something like that might be supportive or helpful for you.

    Or also, when we think about our parents or others in our family group, sometimes we might notice thoughts or speech of worry or vigilance or concern about various things - sometimes we may have a different TOPIC of worry, but we can see the similar 'emotion' of worry in someone else, and our own mind just gets that way about a different topic. Or we may see stories in the media or elsewhere of something bad happening to someone, so at times we might catch worry or fear from those kind of sources too.

    ---------- Post Merged at 05:07 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 04:58 PM ----------

    I think one important thing to keep in mind is that you have not done anything serious or bad that is going to get you in any genuine serious trouble with the law or anything, and keep in mind too that the call of concern to your parents is not any terrible awful thing or any major big deal in any way. A few different experiences like that are just part of growing up. So don't think of it as any major big deal or negative thing. When you grow up you will also at times make driving errors or mistakes, and get fined by police.It is great to do the best we can, but we all make errors sometimes and have to pay fines, sometimes forget to carefully pay attention to the speed limit now and then, or make a parking mistake, etc. Don't worry. It is just part of life. Sometimes our parents or someone in our family may worry too much about the little times in life that we were not 'perfect' or did not perfectly fit in. Figuring out who we are and learning the skills of life is just part of the whole journey and nobody does it extremely easily or perfectly.

    Try to explore a few different interests in life, and try to keep doing your schoolwork as well as you can. Try to be basically friendly to whoever you sit near at school, even if you don't make actual friendhips easily. Try to be just friendly and interested in what others are talking about most of the time, if you can. Smile a little bit and say 'hi' and 'bye'. If you try to do those things, it is OK to also be interested in survival skills or fiction or roleplaying as well, and if you try to do those other things there is nothing your parents should be too worried about in terms of your interests and roleplaying and stuff. Maybe even finding roleplaying groups, scifi/fantasy groups, or geek groups online or IRL can help you get used to people and get a little friendly with people or find people with common interests.

    Hang in there and feel free to ask us any other questions when you need to, or to chat about different topics.

  5. #5

    Re: I'm getting nervous to the point of paranoia

    Thank you, @MHealthJo.

    An excellent reply and I don't think there's much I can add to what you said.

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