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  1. #101
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    Re: Coping Tip of the Day

    The Loneliness and Shame of Feeling Invisible: How to Find Your Voice

    A lot of people feel invisible. And for many different reasons.

    What do I mean by "feeling invisible?" Like you don't matter. As if you aren't a vital part of things. As if you are being overlooked or seen only for what you can do instead of for who you are. You're an object - not a real human being. Shame can whisper to you that you're not worth as much as others - that you aren't acceptable, or welcome, or important. Your invisibility can begin to define you.

    If it's part of depression, then some of that "invisibility" may be imagined or misperceived. Maybe you are important to people but you're taking their own lives being busy or not texting you back or whatever too personally. So that's an important distinction to make and you may want to check out your thinking with a therapist or someone you trust...


    What to Do When You Feel Invisible

    Take responsibility. It's too easy to blame others, and that never works. Even the people who are closest to you aren't responsible for how you feel. By taking responsibility, you can completely turn your perspective around. "My kids never call anymore" can be turned into "I'm glad my kids don't feel burdened by me."

  2. #102
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    Re: Coping Tip of the Day

    Are You Expecting Too Much from Your Partner?

    The best way to approach a romantic partner is to let go of a fantasy of who that person should be and see them realistically for who they are. Our goal should not be to merge into one, but to come close together and connect in a way that is respectful and loving of the other as a separate being.

    With this balance, we can appreciate the natural ebb and flow and give and take that comes from being two people sharing a meaningful experience. And we can empathize with their experience independent of ours. When we keep this as a principle for how we approach our relationships, we don't just become more accepting of our partner's inevitable weaknesses, but we feel a greater appreciation, a deeper attraction, and a more vital connection to their strengths.

  3. #103
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  4. #104
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    Re: Coping Tip of the Day

    Stop Hiding Behind Complexity

    ...Part of our attraction to complexity is that you can hide behind it. Some examples where this trend is prevalent:

    • Fitness
    • Creativity
    • Nutrition
    • Building a company
    • Relationships

    The more complex you make something the easier it is to get excited about; talk about; and maybe even get started. But the harder it is to stick to over the long-haul. Complexity gives you excuses and ways out and endless options for switching things up all the time. Simplicity is different. You can't hide behind simplicity. You have to show up-day in, day out-and pound the stone.

    If the approach you are following allows for consistency; follows some kind of periodization (stress + rest = growth); and is open to adaptation then it will probably be effective.

    Do the work. Rest. Progressively make it harder. Tweak as needed. Repeat. Nothing complex about it. It's as simple and as hard as that.

  5. #105
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    Re: Coping Tip of the Day

    3 Mental Blocks That Keep You From Doing What You Say You Want to Do

    “If you believe that at the core of success is talent and genetics, then this rookie mistake matters a lot; it’s the proof you need that you didn’t have what it takes.”

    ...Think of your intrinsic reason — the motivation behind why you’re doing what you say you want to do — as your own personal energy source. It’s there for you to tap into whenever you need it. And you will need it. Crowell says, “If the work you want to do is hard, there will be urges in the moment to quit, and it is intrinsic interest that keeps you focused on the steps you need to take.”


  6. #106
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    Re: Coping Tip of the Day

    Why Your Brain Loves Procrastination

    [Peter] Gollwitzer and his colleagues for years have shown us that implementation intentions make a huge difference to even deal with things like distractions.

    Implementation intentions take the form of “If, then.” “If the phone rings, then I’m not going to answer it.” “If my friends call me to say we’re going out, I’m going to say no.” So you’ve already made this pre-commitment.

    You can use implementation intentions to keep yourself focused: “If I’ve finished this part of the article, then I’m going to immediately turn my attention to reading the next part.”

  7. #107
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    Re: Coping Tip of the Day

    Surprising Ways to Beat Anxiety and Become Mentally Strong

    "Do it badly" as a motto gives you the courage to try new things, adds a little fun to everything, and stops you worrying too much about the outcome. It's about doing it badly today and improving as you go. Ultimately, it's about liberation.

  8. #108
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    Re: Coping Tip of the Day

    Why Talented People Don't Use Their Strengths

    What compliments do you dismiss? When we're inherently good at something, we tend to downplay it. "Oh, it was nothing," we say -- and maybe it was nothing to us. But it meant something to another person, which is why they're thanking you. Notice these moments: They can point to strengths that you underrate in yourself but are valuable to others.

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