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  1. #11
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    Re: no one understands

    Don’t be silly. You’re not “centered” when you reach out for help here. Helping others is honorable but when you need support it’s about you and nobody else. I get you about turning off the phone not being possible but staying home today and by the fire is a great idea. I remember when I would sit by the wood furnace back in the Laurentiens that it’s probably the only place my brain could really detach from everything a bit mesmerizing actually. Plus the warmth is what it is.

    As for friends to vent and panic too it’s the same ones you have. People in our environments care but don’t really understand why, how and what we are going through in panic or crisis mode. That’s why we need to stick around to support each other. I think knowing someone “gets us” gives that extra “sticking around” strength we have but that the pain numbs our brain and we forget till someone reminds us

    Have a great day FMN! Spend the day doing what you do so well; taking care of people except today the person is you

  2. #12
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    Re: no one understands

    Been shoveling deck lots of snow here but exercise is good for me and it helps to distract me.
    Then brought in more wood for fire will relax now until hsb get home.
    i hope it stops snowing soon i may go out one more time just so it does not get too heavy

    Therapist called i did not say what i wanted too not right really but um he wants me to look into programs for ptsd and iwill but he knows i do not like being around people i don't want to show my emotions but i said i would look for programs so i will.

    Sadness is still inside i can feel it but the pain i felt is not extreme like yesterday anyways tired now will go get a drink of gingerale thirst after all that snow shoveling take care ok
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  3. #13
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    Re: no one understands

    so hard so hard more bad news girl overdosed again she got into trouble at a store she overdosed afterwards in hospital now don't know what will become of anything anymore i keep calling her but no answer i do hope she is in hospital i really hope she is getting help she needs.
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  4. #14
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    Re: no one understands

    Wish I could have something comforting to say so I'll just leave it at hope your girl is ok. hang in there and big hug my friend

  5. #15
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    Re: no one understands

    she says she is in hospital she won't talk to me hangs up on me

    Told her to please please just stay safe there. I hope someone steps in dam it she is so detached so without feelings she does not care how she harms herself anymore

    i have not heard anything been waiting for dam phone to ring

    i knew i just knew something was wrong i begged her to go home to just go home

    if i had just put dam money in her account for her she would not have done this but i did not want to enable her to drink anymore i knew she would use money to just drink

    anyways just waiting now she would not tell me what she overdosed on uggg feeling sick to my stomach hsb does not want to hear me now i don't blame him. He is able to just shut down everything go to bed sleep i willl be up all night now waiting.
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  6. #16
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    Re: no one understands

    My therapist liked to endorse Glasser's choice theory (or whatever works) for not being on edge as much in response to a loved one's behavior.

  7. #17
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    Re: no one understands

    No news yet her phone is turned off icy out here got ice storm hard for me to get out in it roads are not sanded yet
    will wait it out a bit longer i guess no calls is a good thing right now.
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  8. #18
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    Re: no one understands

    Great idea. Not a good time to go anywhere if the roads are icy. ER not much better than psych wards these days

  9. #19
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    Re: no one understands

    Called her act team let them know where she was. Asked them to please please reassess her meds please help her told them how cold and detached she is, how aggressive she is. Told them abt incident at the store and also told them i cannot help her i don't know what to do anymore to help her.

    After that i called the crisis line but this time i let it ring through omg so hard to talk to people. The person was able to calm me down some gave me some numbers to call. i wrote them down don't know if i can make those calls but at least i have them .
    Tired now so tired lord so tired oh dam phone is ringing i cannot pick it up let it leave a msg oh god no msg probably just telemarketer i hope. cannot do this anymore i cannot do this anymore dam phone dam it.
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  10. #20
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    Re: no one understands

    It's hard but you did it and I'm glad to hear you called the crisis line. a great big thank-you for finding the courage to do that !

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