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  1. #331
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    My therapist and I made a tentative booking for next Thurs. Noting that he might have to look after kids during school holidays but wasn't sure of his schedule yet (especially with COVID-19), he asked for some flexibility around the booking which is fine for me.
    Since my workplace has swapped to week at office / week at home, I'll be working from home next week so it'll be fine for me if the session needs to be earlier in the day compared to normal. I'm currently wondering if it would be weird to email to tell him that, or just wait for him to tell me if the tentative time is no good.

    In other news, I have the beginnings of a sore throat. I think I just haven't really shaken the thing from the week where I wasn't sleeping well. I'll see how today goes. This week is dragging on very slowly - hard to believe it's only Wednesday.

  2. #332
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Sore throat has decided to stay. The office is extra cold with half the number of people in it. I was planning to change the temp setting a degree or two in the morning tomorrow but I might not go in to avoid spreading a cold. They tried to stagger the seating so that people wouldn't be sitting next to each other, but my desk is in the wrong spot on the seating map so I am actually sitting beside someone who is in my 'week'. He stayed home with a cold for 2 days this week so it's only polite to return the favour.

    A positive is that I got stairwell-ambushed by my neighbour who wanted to tell me something, but I warned her about the sore throat and she told me to shoo Had to tell me over the phone instead haha

    I discussed the therapy scheduling thing with my bf and he helped me decide not to bother unless my therapist tells me he needs to change it. As I thought it through, I realised:
    1) my reason for telling him would be because if I were in the situation of having to reschedule with someone, it would completely stress me out and I really would appreciate having all the information at hand in order to make the optimum decision... But most people aren't like that (hence the disgustingly inefficient way everyone still books appointments with each other without sharing calendars!).
    2) trying to determine whether he might need the information is an 'engineer trait' of trying to identify all the variables to create a situation envelope within which everything will occur... And again, that's fine for an engineering task but not what most people do for stuff like this.

    So apparently I'm just going to chill and not engage in levels of complication, for now.

  3. #333
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    My brain has come up with another "reason for a reason" that I should quit therapy. Back along the 'I don't need/deserve help in comparison to _____' line. I've reread my notes from 2 sessions ago where my therapist said that he doesn't want me to quit based on what I think he thinks in the context of me being self critical and this does meet that criteria... But it's not so much whether I actually quit or not, its the moral responsibility of not wasting resources I don't need, of dealing with things I should deal with instead of being weak pathetic and disgusting.
    It's not just whether he thinks it, it's whether I know it yet let my stupid feelings decide what I'm doing instead.

  4. #334
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    @gooblax

    Throughout all of this is this repeated thought/feeling/worry:

    dealing with things I should deal with instead of being weak pathetic and disgusting.
    You accept that as a given when your mind goes down that path. Anyone else can see that it is an old script handed down by your parents that was never true or correct to begin with.

    In other words, any other thoughts or feelings that are based on you being "being weak pathetic and disgusting" are based on a flawed and false premise. Consequently, any conclusions that you may draw based on that premise are necessarily also flawed and false.

    That phrase should be a red flag for you, one to reject outright whenever it pops its ugl;y head up.

  5. #335
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    It's so hard to see it as false though. I don't know if it's possible. The "who would I be without that belief" question gets stuck because if I wasn't guarding myself against being that, I would be that even more than I am now. I think it's something that everyone self-polices, and if someone turns off their police force to the extent where they become obviously weak and pathetic then they deserve pain and to suffer.

  6. #336
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by gooblax View Post
    if someone turns off their police force to the extent where they become obviously weak and pathetic then they deserve pain and to suffer.
    So if someone else you know or someone else on this forum were to seek help, is that how you would think of them? That they were "obviously weak and pathetic" and "they deserve pain and to suffer"?

  7. #337
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by David Baxter View Post
    So if someone else you know or someone else on this forum were to seek help, is that how you would think of them? That they were "obviously weak and pathetic" and "they deserve pain and to suffer"?
    Yes if:
    - they didn't actually need the help;
    - the help they tried to get was disproportionate to what they actually needed;
    - they sought it in a way that was disproportionate to the amount of distress they were in;
    - they were using it as an excuse to let themselves off the hook for their responsibilities.

    I think that covers all the yes scenarios. Otherwise no.

  8. #338
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Seeing a therapist is not about dependence but about growth. It is often about becoming less dependent on anxiety and depression-producing behaviors, including worry behaviors.

    Ideally, scrupulosity would encourage people with anxiety to do more and take more risks rather than to mostly inhibit behavior. But it is the latter that usually takes place, causing a decrease in socialization, etc.


    Scrupulosity - Wikipedia

    The term is derived from the Latin scrupulum, a sharp stone, implying a stabbing pain on the conscience. Scrupulosity was formerly called scruples in religious contexts, but the word scruple now commonly refers to a troubling of the conscience rather than to the disorder.

  9. #339
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Unbelievably, I just ****ing pocket-sms'd my therapist. I haven't even saved his phone number in my phone because I don't want it there, but I do have the message history from scheduling stuff. Somehow in my pocket, my headphones and phone conspired to get into that particular set of messages and send a bunch of punctuation.

    He replied while I was still trying to figure out what to say as a "please disregard" message and it's all sorted out logistically. I've now deleted the message history so there should be no way of it happening again any time soon.

    But mentally it's still messy and I'm trying not to overreact with self harm. Or considering whether it's an overreaction or justified. Or both. I was less upset about having accidentally called my plumber in a similar fashion a couple of months ago (although I managed to stop the call pretty quickly so I don't think it rang on his end).

  10. #340
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Really there's no harm done, right. Everyone has pocket or purse dialed someone v

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