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  1. #421
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    I'm barely managing to avoid creating a spreadsheet of all the various PD traits with columns to check off whether I think I meet the criteria in one situation or across multiple situations etc. I don't really know if it'll be a useful exercise or just a gigantic waste of time (but surely no more of a waste of time than doing it non-systematically has been). I'm leaning towards gigantic waste of time, especially if I have impaired insight. However if my therapist were to tell me whether he's considering any in particular, it would be less of a waste of time because then we could discuss whether I do or don't agree with his assessment on a trait-by-trait level.

    I have my appointment with him tomorrow after work but am delaying responding to the automatic reminder sms due to my usual conflict about the sessions.

  2. #422
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Therapist is sick today and had to cancel.

  3. #423
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Sorry to hear that. Maybe he will credit you then if you ever have to cancel.

    BTW, one of my pet peeves about therapy:

    At least in the US, it is the norm to be charged for appointments cancelled with less than 24 hours notice -- which is another reason why I usually pay by check rather than a credit card I have never cancelled with less than 24 hours notice, but I always thought the policy was stupid since there is no penalty for the therapist having to cancel at the last minute. It is understandable since they deal with a lot of no shows, but shows a lack of parity at the start of the therapeutic relationship.

  4. #424
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Maybe. At least I could put it forth as a point if the situation arose.

    Yeah it's the same general policy here. I understand it from the perspective of not being able to fill slots at short notice, it makes sense to avoid having people able to cancel at a whim with no recourse... but on the client's side if they genuinely wanted to make the appointment but just couldn't it does come across as a bit of a dick move.

  5. #425
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    and very outdated since a private-practice therapist who charges for a missed appointment can provide some assistance by asynchronous messaging like e-mail that does not require scheduling.

  6. #426
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Haha yeah there's plenty of things I can think of for them to spend the time doing for the client's benefit. I assume some therapists would do some of them off their own back (like maybe research into a problem the client was having etc) but I'm not going to be optimistic about the proportion.

    I seriously hate whatever this transference/attachment/whatever-term-you-want-to-use stuff is though. Maybe now that I've spent 1.5hrs being sad and crying on-and-off I can move on with my afternoon. At least he didn't have to cancel during one of my "he doesn't care" thought blocks or it would've been extra messy for me to deal with.

  7. #427
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Maybe I should stop seeing my therapist (yes I know, but it's a different reason this time) because that way I'll stop having over the top responses like yesterday. If I don't see him then after awhile it won't matter anymore.

  8. #428
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Incidentally, I have noticed that some therapists are offering remote therapy for the first time due to COVID-19. I found one that charges only $65 for video therapy. For the few therapists who take my insurance, my copay is$ 40. So $65 is cheap.

    Right now, I am on a break again from therapy myself since my OCD is in remission again -- relatively speaking. And I did not like my last therapist. (I had a bad feeling about him since he seemed to be blaming me for my anxiety, and then I looked up his record. Then I felt quite validated as to why he was trying my anxiety like an addiction -- because of his own addiction to alcohol that led to a DUI, which was detailed with his MSW license info.)

    When I am doing better, the OCD takes a back seat to positive obsessions or "positive addictions." Like now, I am trying to find good camping sites. I usually go through cycles where there is OCD as usual, then OCD more than usual, then depression from the OCD/anxiety being too much, then I "cool my jets" and eventually the OCD is relatively gone. Then back again...

  9. #429
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    My therapist has temporarily reduced his fee for the moment while everyone's on video. It's annoying that I can't get any rebate (govt or insurance) with him due to location but if he's going to diagnose me with something that gets stigmatised and misunderstood then I'd rather that not be on record anyway.

    I've realised that I have to keep seeing him at least until he tells me what the hell is wrong with me. I just need the quickest way to tell him the information he needs to make a decision and to show that I understand enough about things such that telling me wouldn't be 'harmful'.

  10. #430
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    Re: My ongoing therapy dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by gooblax View Post
    I've realised that I have to keep seeing him at least until he tells me what the hell is wrong with me.
    Not exactly a solution-focused approach?

    In other words, what you are saying reminds me of the medical model where there is the diagnosis and then the treatment. But having a diagnosis in mental health is not necessary for treatment and, in theory, can even get in the way (as in self-fulfilling prophecies.)

    But I understand what you are saying in that you would like a diagnosis -- something to go on. But there is more right with you than wrong with you, as someone used to say. Whch brings me back to the solution-focused perspective, which I have always liked since it avoids blaming the person -- more so than some other therapies that have resistance almost baked in (as in traditional CBT where there can be a higher rate of resistance, dropout, or non-compliance even to one's own self-defined goals and desired behaviors).

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