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  1. #1
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    So overwhelmed: why is life so hard?

    With my PTSD, major depression, anxiety and panic disorders, chronic pain, and husbands health crisis, and my recent four car accident.

    Physiotherapy is not helping, so my surgeon wants me to have my vertebrates in my neck fused together. I would have pins and rods placed in my neck. There is a 40 percent chance that after surgery I would not be able to move my neck at all. I don't think I can go with this, I would almost want to live with the horrible incredible pain. A life taking narcotic pain meds.

    I just want to scream, punch the walls, drink myself into a stupor. I am tired of saying why me, because more stuff just seems to be happening to me.

    My husbands heart is not working as it should. Every nite he is on the edge of the bed gasping for air. Taking nitro spray more than he should be.

    I am so sick with worry that I can't even eat nor sleep. I am so sleep deprived. I can't function anymore. My brain is so fried, I can't think or concentrate and my memory is basically gone.

    I know that I have to be strong and carry on with life, but why does someone have to go thru so much. I have so much anxiety wondering and worrying about what is the next thing that is going to happen to us.

  2. #2
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    Re: So overwhelmed, why is life so hard

    Can you get a second opinion from another neurosurgeon?

    Does your husband use a CPAP machine at night? Has he seen a doctor about the nightly gasping for air? Has he seen a pulmonary specialist?

    Regarding feeling overwhelmed:

    When You Feel Tired of Hoping and Trying: Living Yourself and Choosing Life

  3. #3
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    Re: So overwhelmed, why is life so hard

    No he doesn't use a CPAP machine, his heart is just too damaged from diabetes he's had it for 25 years.

    I've had three consultations with three different surgeons. I just don't know what to do, it's a decision that only I can make, but it's so darn hard.

    I eventually need to find a job, as I will be the only bread winner. I don't know how, when my mental health is at an all time crisis level.

    Thankfully my therapist is allowing me to run a tab, or my life would be in more crisis.

  4. #4
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    Re: So overwhelmed, why is life so hard


  5. #5
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    Re: So overwhelmed, why is life so hard

    From what I remember: You are on disability now but it is not enough to pay the mortgage, car payments, etc. The only other option I can think of is to ask Catholic Charities or http://211.ca about additional resources.

    On the emotional side, I like the YouTube videos of Marsha Linehan (founder of DBT) since her specialty is crisis.

  6. #6
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    Re: So overwhelmed, why is life so hard

    My favorite thing from another therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is cognitive defusion, another mindfulness approach. One motivation for it:

    We also know that in writing, it’s really important that people are able to construct a story. If someone comes in and they write about a trauma, and they immediately have a good story: “this happened, and the reason was so and so” — they don’t benefit from writing at all. People benefit more when they construct a new story. They start putting things together. The alternative argument is that one reason people are screwed up is because of language as well. I mean, if you look at most animals, they don’t need psychotherapy, but they don’t have language either to get them messed up.”

    Reality Isn't Really Real | Psychology Today
    (On the flip side -- creating a new story, there is narrative therapy, and narrative therapy can compliment mindfulness approaches.)

  7. #7
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    Re: So overwhelmed, why is life so hard

    Another point: "A goal is to restore the body as a resource for growth and emotional modulation as opposed to a place of damage or loss."

    (PDF) Mindfulness-based Narrative Therapy for Depression in Cancer Patients

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