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  1. #1
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    New here and struggling

    Hi everyone. I'm hoping being here will be helpful. I'm not doing well currently. I'm trying to get well but the harder I try the more cracks appear. I've been anorexic since 13 and I relapsed yet again but this is the worst episode I've had yet. I'm in therapy and we've been discussing the need to sit down with my primary care dr and fill her in at this point. Sorry to ramble. But I guess it doesnt matter. No one will read this anyway.

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  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    Re: New here and struggling

    Daniel read it and I read it, so that's two already.

    Welcome, @AshesToAshes.

    Do you know what triggered your relapse and why this is the worst episode? What else is going on in your life.

  4. #4
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    Re: New here and struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by David Baxter View Post
    Daniel read it and I read it, so that's two already.

    Welcome, @AshesToAshes.

    Do you know what triggered your relapse and why this is the worst episode? What else is going on in your life.
    The past 3 years have been one loss and/or trauma after another. Everyday all i hear is what I do wrong. I have no control over anything in my environment currently. I'm having anxiety all day every day and for the past 3 weeks it's gotten to the point that I've been having 3-4 severe panic attacks per day. I cant sleep... that's just the very short version as to what has lead up to me now having a BMI of 15.4 which is terrifying me because I'm trying yet I'm so anxious and so just out of control feeling I cant seem to eat even whe. Trying to force myself. I just had my meds adjusted and now my emotions seem to be everywhere because the kolonopin toned down my anxiety enough that I can actually feel all the pain and loss that I've been burying for years. I feel so much guilt over some of it even though my logical mind knows I did nothing wrong. I'm cant handle it! It's a screaming in my mind that I cant silence. I cant even stand being around anyone anymore.

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  5. #5
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    Re: New here and struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by David Baxter View Post
    Daniel read it and I read it, so that's two already.

    Welcome, @AshesToAshes.

    Do you know what triggered your relapse and why this is the worst episode? What else is going on in your life.
    Sorry if that's all incoherent and sorry didnt mean to go off like that.

    Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

  6. #6
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    Re: New here and struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by AshesToAshes View Post
    I have no control over anything in my environment currently.
    While it is good to feel in control to some degree, such as having self-efficacy, a lot of people with anxiety or OCD try to compensate for their anxiety by attempting to overcontrol their environment, usually leading to avoidance (of people, places, etc) and loneliness or depression:

    Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT) for Anorexia Nervosa: Clinical Applications in a Nutshell - Eating Disorders Catalogue

  7. #7
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    Re: New here and struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Daniel View Post
    While it is good to feel in control to some degree, such as having self-efficacy, a lot of people with anxiety or OCD try to compensate for their anxiety by attempting to overcontrol their environment, usually leading to avoidance (of people, places, etc) and loneliness or depression:

    Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT) for Anorexia Nervosa: Clinical Applications in a Nutshell - Eating Disorders Catalogue
    While that is true, its further complicated in my situation by also having PTSD from a sexual assault and having high functioning autism. So I have to have a rigid structured routine and I'm not never allowed time to destimulate in this house. It all just is too much.

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  8. #8
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    Re: New here and struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Daniel View Post
    While it is good to feel in control to some degree, such as having self-efficacy, a lot of people with anxiety or OCD try to compensate for their anxiety by attempting to overcontrol their environment, usually leading to avoidance (of people, places, etc) and loneliness or depression:

    Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT) for Anorexia Nervosa: Clinical Applications in a Nutshell - Eating Disorders Catalogue
    I was just reading another article by the same author an hour ago about an with comorbid asd.

    Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

  9. #9
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    Re: New here and struggling

    And I read it too which would have been earlier but I'm also going through a rough time and slept through most of the day.

    and we don't simply read we actually care.

    I see you read about comorbid ASD. Most Neuropsychiatric disorders rarely live alone and when things go rough it can sometimes feel like they are all ganging up on us which makes things harder.

    Although I have no answers that are helpful I (we) do understand the difficulty in going through such life events. I'm also personally having trouble regaining my minimal optimal BMI after a long period of slow weight loss and decline because I'd so many issues it be hard to pinpoint one specific one.

    One promise regarding the members here...
    you can be yourself and express your feelings without fear of judgement or criticism (and on and on) we are not perfect sometimes responses don't come out as expected or hoped for but we try hard to support each other as best we can. Know that you can potentially find a safe place from the outside world here.

    And oh! Almost forgot! welcome to the forum

  10. #10
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    Re: New here and struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by AshesToAshes View Post
    I'm not never allowed time to destimulate in this house. It all just is too much.
    I don't know your living situation, but why can't you relax/unwind/destimulate in your own room/area? Besides your house, do you have some favorite hangouts that are not too stimulating like the library or a park?

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