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  1. #11
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    We had a good talk and he promises that we will start going places and doing more things. There have been no fishy charges just last weekend at the bar for dinner and drinks, tonight he says it will be for coffee so one hour or two tops, anxiously awaiting his promise to me. So we will see what happens.

  2. #12
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    So he will continue to cheat on you? His motivations should still be suspect.

    Is it okay for you to spend the night with another man?

    Even if he was single, he shouldn't be going out for coffee during a pandemic while he has diabetes.

    Hopefully, he doesn't bring any COVID-19 home to you:

    Restaurants may be reopening, but that doesnt make indoor dining safe: experts | Globalnews.ca

    “Inside closed spaces we have some of our most impressive super-spreading events,” said Parkes. “These are events where the attack rate is much higher than what we would expect, even in a household.”
    Last edited by Daniel; July 25th, 2020 at 05:59 PM.

  3. #13
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    We had a good chat and he said if I didn't want him to go out that he would stay home. I said go for a coffee with her, and just a coffee to cheer her up. I've talked to her and yes she's very depressed. She said he cheered her up last weekend. If they only go for coffee I will be ok with it, but nothing more. He said men go out with friends who are women.

  4. #14
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    Quote Originally Posted by Hunter View Post
    He said men go out with friends who are women.
    Most men would never provoke their wives by coming back home at 2 am in the morning after spending the night with another woman.

    Most men who have nothing to hide purposely do not engage in suspicious activity. Lunch is one thing, coming home at 2 am is not even on the same scale, especially given his history of not going out with you.

    And if he was putting you first, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

    BTW:
    My husband is prioritizing his "innocent" friendship with a woman over me, and more advice from Dear Prudie.

    This isn’t about “making him see” anything, because this isn’t up for debate; it’s a simple fact that he’s now got a new girlfriend in everything but name...

    If all he wants to do is insist he’s not doing anything wrong and that there’s something wrong with you for noticing all of these changes, then you deserve better, and you should leave. He knows he’s not prioritizing you. It’s not that you’re doing a bad job of explaining it. He’s doing it on purpose and pretending he isn’t, which is designed to make you feel insecure and confused and like you have no right to expect attention or care from your own husband.
    Last edited by Daniel; July 25th, 2020 at 07:32 PM.

  5. #15
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    Quote Originally Posted by Hunter View Post
    I constantly say let's us two go out to a restaurant but he doesn't want to go always saying with his diabetes he's not feeling well.
    Yeah, that is another red flag, given his current behavior.

    You have to go by what he does. Not what he says. He could have done something with you today or this week. He chose her instead, and, again, I assume you were not invited to tag along.

    The fact his "friend" supposedly has depression is not an excuse. Your husband is inducing depression in you. And I assume he is treating you this way because he is unhappy with the marriage.

    You should be his top priority. Instead, this woman is. Lots of people have lost their jobs because of COVID-19. That doesn't mean married men get to hang out with women at bars during a pandemic.

    If you were the top priority, you would be the one he was trying to cheer up.
    Last edited by Daniel; July 25th, 2020 at 08:12 PM.

  6. #16
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    Hunter you know what he is doing is wrong. Your heart is aching because he is treating her to outing telling how smart and beautiful she is yet you don't hear those words. They both are playing you and it is not right and i am sorry he is being unfaithful to you. Tell him that it is hurting you too much and it needs to stop now that YOU need to be is priority not the other women
    Words always stay inside ones soul

  7. #17
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    Men Cheat Because They Want More Praise - Why Men Cheat, According to Science

    40 percent [of the men who cheated] admitted to cheating with a coworker...

    What may be the most shocking piece of information to come out of this study is the fact that beauty and physical attraction have little to do with cheating. Eighty-eight percent of the surveyed philanderers revealed that they cheated with someone "less attractive" than their wife.

  8. #18
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    Men Cheat With Co-Workers While Women Cheat With Close Friends, British Survey Says, But They Do It For The Same Reason

    “Eighty-two percent of the 210 unfaithful partners I’ve treated have had an affair with someone who was, at first, ‘just a friend.’ Today’s workplace has become the new danger zone of romantic attraction and opportunity.”

  9. #19
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    Your comments about your husband, from August of last year:

    https://forum.psychlinks.ca/showthre...reason-to-live

    My husband has started to verbally abuse me, calling me a loser and a burden.
    Seems like he is blaming me for the accident, hell I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
    And in January:

    https://forum.psychlinks.ca/showthre...-therapy/page2

    My husband is pretty self centered. For the most part he cares, but is pretty self centered.

  10. #20
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    Re: Husband courting new woman PTSD is overwhelming

    When Are Opposite Sex Friends a Threat to Your Relationship?

    Despite the fact that opposite-sex friends have become more common in the past several decades, it’s a situation recent research shows most people view with suspicion and these suspicions are actually substantiated by research.

    For example...64% of men and 44% of women reported that their cross-sex friends became their sexual partners...

    When someone you have an intimate relationship with objects to an opposite-sex friendship, it is a very big mistake to assume that this is jealousy stemming from insecurity. Partners with high self-esteem will not tolerate the disrespect of poorly handled opposite-sex friendships. This is a sign of their emotional intelligence and their understanding of what is required to maintain an intimate bond. Translation--the problem very likely isn't the partner who is objecting, it is likely the way the opposite sex friendship is being handled by one or both of the friends.

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