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  1. Do they really care?

    Do you think your therapist really cares about you or is it just an interesting job? Do therapists have "favorite" parients? Or are we just another face among many to them? Are they trained to "pretend" to care so they can do their jobs better?

    I am curious as to the response on this and I would love to hear from therapists themselves and others.
    Thank You!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Re: Do they really care?

    Sunset,

    I'm glad you asked! It's been on my mind ALOT lately as well.

    I'll be interested to see the responses.
    ~ Allow yourself to be the light that the world so desperately needs. ~ Unknown

  3. #3

    Re: Do they really care?

    Do you think your therapist really cares about you or is it just an interesting job
    Why should it matter as long as the therapist is providing the therapeutic strategies one need to improve their condition? Taking a different perspective, when you hire a plumber or visit the garage for your car, if the person's prefessional competence will correct the problem, I feel that's what matters.

    Is it possible that because the dialogue with a mental health therapist involves talking about personal issues, perhaps in the same way we might talk to a close trusted friend or relative, that we expect the same quality of relationship with a therapist as we would from a close personal acquaintance?

    It seems to me that a mental health therapist or any health provider is a professional whom we consult for their diagnostic skills. Would we not want our health professionals to remain objective, because if we become too close socially, would their judgement not become clouded?

    Steve

    Dum spiro spero....While I breathe, I hope

    Tourette Canada Forum

  4. Re: Do they really care?

    TSOW... It matters a great deal to me if they care or not. I dont want to pour out my heart and inner most thoughts that NO ONE ELSE knows about me, into an uncaring person. I understand about them being able to do their jobs and remain objective, but does that have to mean "not caring"?
    I do think a person is capable of caring and not let it cloud their judgement.

    I dont have this kind of relationship with a plumber or car mechanic so cant really compare these professionals to my therapist.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Re: Do they really care?

    I have to agree with you, Sunset. My plumber or mechanic isn't fixing my mind, emotions, mental health...they are fixing an object. I might *love* my car or drain pipe, but I don't care if my plumber/mechanic does!

    This past week I got an email from my therapist in response to an email I sent him. I was quite upset by it. I wrote him back and told him that I felt like I could have told him I was dying of some horrible disease and he would have responded the same. I was rather hurt and truly felt like he didn't care. I started asking myself if I'm just a number; a Saturday morning inconvenience, etc. I guess I'll find out tomorrow if he cares or not.
    ~ Allow yourself to be the light that the world so desperately needs. ~ Unknown

  6. #6

    Re: Do they really care?

    I understand about them being able to do their jobs and remain objective, but does that have to mean "not caring"?
    I do think a person is capable of caring and not let it cloud their judgement
    i agree also..
    in my mind these ppl are health care professionals. a profession they chose because they care. they are trained to remain objective and caring at the same time.


    bg: you could look at his response this way as well maybe??? if he didn't care he may not have responded at all. this is just a thought ok.

    (i'm not taking anything away from how you felt about it) .


  7. #7

    Re: Do they really care?

    I think to be an effective therapist requires two things:

    (1) that you can empathize with and care about -- connect to -- your client... Adler's way of describing this was "To see with the eyes of another, to hear with the ears of another, to feel with the heart of another"...

    (2) that you can create sufficient emotional distance from the client that you can remain objective and avoid getting "drawn into" or "swallowed up" by the pain the client is feeling - without that, you can't help the client - all you can do is share the suffering.

  8. #8

    Re: Do they really care?

    I agree with David. Beautifully said! My desire as a therapist is to create an emotionally corrective experience for my clients...this would not be possible if I did not care. I remember when I witnessed some of the "burnout" workers (at a local psychiatric hospital) not treat the patients like humans. What I mean by this is the workers would walk by without acknowledging the patients. I made sure that I greeted each person I met there. I did not want to be a part of what had happened to these people in their past. Sometimes compassion and empathy can come with one word, "Hello" I hope this helps you with your question.

  9. #9

    Re: Do they really care?

    I am in the same boat as the others on here asking about whether I am just another face in the crowd. I actually had written that in a letter to my old doctor among other things and when she read it, she commented on most of the other things and not that. It was very disappointing and it hurt because I took it to mean that I was just another face in her day and appt. in her calendar and that she didn't really care at all. But...now that she is gone and I won't be seeing her anymore, I feel lost. I do have another doctor but instead of seeing her once a week (like the old one) I now see her once a month. Although it is nice that she has taken me on as a patient (because my old doctor asked her to), I don't really think that she has time for me or even wants to see me. I just think that she was doing it as a favour to her colleague.

    Take Care
    Nancy

  10. #10

    Re: Do they really care?

    Just as when you meet a new friend, or start a new relationship, it takes time to build a therapeutic relationship too. And in many cases, you may be starting at a time when other clients/patients are finishing.

    For example, after a while, I may only be seeing clients every two weeks or every month as followup to terminating therapy with them (because they don't need to be coming any more). During that phase, I may start to see a new client and, while I prefer to see new clients at least once per week, sometimes I need to explain that in the beginning I may not have sufficient time to do that until the previous client(s) don't need further appointments. Typically, this would not be for more than about a month - that allows me to do some crisis intervention rather than just leaving someone on a waiting list. It doesn't mean that the new client is less (or more) important than the older client - just a matter of logistics and a finite number of hours in the week.

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