Advertisement
Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Growth

  1. Growth

    Come The Dawn

    After a while you learn the subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
    And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
    And company doesn't mean security,
    And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
    And presents aren't promises,
    And you begin to look at
    your defeats
    With your head up
    and your eyes open
    With the grace of a woman,
    not the grief of a child,
    And you learn to build all your roads on today
    Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
    And futures have a way of falling mid-flight.

    After a while you learn
    That even the sunshine burns if you get too much.
    So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
    Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
    And you learn that you really can endure...
    That you really are strong.
    And you really do have worth.
    And you learn and you learn...
    With every goodbye you learn.
    And with every hello you grow.

    -- Veronica A Shoffstall

  2. Advertisement
  3. #2

    Growth

    I enjoyed and appreciated this poem...it is especially appropriate at transition points in one's life. I particularly appreciate:
    After a while you learn the subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
    And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
    And company doesn't mean security,
    I'm not so sure about:
    With the grace of a woman,
    not the grief of a child,
    But I deeply appreciate the last stanza:
    After a while you learn
    That even the sunshine burns if you get too much.
    So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
    Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
    And you learn that you really can endure...
    That you really are strong.
    And you really do have worth.
    And you learn and you learn...
    With every goodbye you learn.
    And with every hello you grow
    Thanks for sharing these. I will try to look up other poems by her.

  4. Growth

    The website that used to be home to several of her poems no longer exists, unfortunately.

  5. #4

    Growth

    [size=12px]Not sure where to put this- and not too happy about starting new topics...

    But I am really struggling with the passing of time.... it's a mystery to me... I hear a song, like I am now... (usually the 70's) http://www.egihosting.com/i/super70s/super70s.asx ...and I'm back there...can feel, smell, almost touch...
    I know it's to do with too much responsibility and stress now, but it hurts... I want to go back and be a girl again...and yet I love my husband and kids so much...
    I know I sound like someone who doesn't want to grow up, but believe me I have, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually...
    maybe it was all too quick and I want to go back and do it slower...

    We've had so much stress... I've had so much trauma, which I know has crippled some... but I've always been so strong...always... because of others...
    I hate the thought of others hurting in any way...
    and I can see the link...it's because I have hurt and know what it feels like..[/size]

  6. Growth

    Quote Originally Posted by sammy
    Not sure where to put this- and not too happy about starting new topics...
    Don't worry about starting new topics - I'm fine with that :o)

    But I am really struggling with the passing of time.... it's a mystery to me...
    I think this is pretty common, especially at times of stress but even under normal circumstances... being drawn back to happier times, when things seemed simpler, when you felt healthier or more energetic, when your relationships with children or spouse or family members seemed less complicated, when you were optimistic about reaching certain goals that may now seem less attainable... or just because like all of us you have happy memories of a particular time or place.

    I think it's also because of the "relativity" effect, where the older we get the faster time seems to by -- do we ever really feel our chronological age? I remember my mom when I was a teen commenting that it often surprised her when she looked in the mirror to see a woman who was much older than her mental self-image, that she still expected to see herself as a teen, or in her 20s, or mid-30s (depending on her actual age). That struck me as interesting at the time and now that I am closer to how old she was when she said it I can better understand it.

  7. #6

    Growth

    [size=12px]Thanks :)
    Yes, I still have a young face, even at 45, and can appear much younger... but my thyroid condition has wrecked my body...
    it helps that my husband still loves me... and finds me attractive... but...
    there's something missing...something I didn't do along the way....

    I always wanted to be a mother...am a natural one...as far as that can be...had a good mom myself...but...

    I know this sounds strange... but I really miss the 70's...and have come across some who feel the same...
    was the 70's the last decade (up to '77 imho)... of 'relative innocence' and hopefulness about this world?

    I love 'laid back' relaxed people (and I don't mean just from pot or alchohol ha ha )... but everyone has so many probs.... why don't people loosen up and just help and encourage one another?
    I was part of a great loyal crowd of friends in '76 ... have not found anything like that since...
    ..except for a brief time in '87 with a housechurch I belonged to... which changed when it was 'formalised' with moving into a public building... :(
    (I had so much healing during that time in '87...and I think I helped others somewhat too... the environment was conducive to that).[/size]

  8. Growth

    Arthur C. Clarke wrote a story called Childhood's End - that title sort of captures it.

    I'm a few months (days? years? they all run together after a while) older than you, Sammy, but I do remember the 70s... and the 60s... it was a time of hope and, looking back, incredible innocence and naivete. It almost seems silly now when I try to explain to my children that "All You Need Is Love" wasn't just a song, that we really believed it for a while; that we really thought for a few moments that love-ins and bed-ins could stop the war in Viet Nam and end war forever on earth; that music and brotherhood and tolerance would rise above politics and greed and create a true Utopia.

    Now we, if we can't move fast enough to change the station, hear gangsta rap about killing cops and "my bitch" instead of "come on people now smile on your brother everybody get together try to love one another right now" or "if you're going to San Francisco be sure to wear some flowers in your hair".

    Maybe we were naive - and maybe today's kids have a more realistic outlook on the world and life. They're also more depressed, more stressed out, and more pessimistic about the future.

    And maybe that's why we're nostalgic about the 70s (or the 60s) - because we were much happier being blissfully naive than realistically depressed.

  9. #8

    Growth

    Yes, that sums it up....

    Kids today...the music... I say to my daughter... that's horrible...because I feel aggression in the vibes from it...
    At least my dad's objections to me listening to pop music were the fears about the suggestive lyrics, rather than hatred that is in some sounds today.
    Today- we have both- to the extreme. :(

    Anyway- this is about 'Growth' (sorry for taking it off topic)

    Going back to the poem in the first post...

    After a while you learn the subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
    this reflects to me, one of my biggest areas of growth, which maybe I still have to grow more in...

    not feeling the need to 'control.'

    I guess I used to try to control others (subconsciously), because of fear...for them... for me...because I had been controlled by others...
    because I had been in reponsible jobs where I was required to control others...

    It can be hard to step back, to trust that someone else will do ok without me.....

    Especially when some fell for the mask I wore that I was strong- now they believe it - and come to me and drain my strength ha ha ...

    And yet... they are beginning to see that I am quite weak really now... i.e. my mom, my husband, my best friend.... they have begun to support me more...
    My husband says that I always play my needs down, when I go to the doctors etc...or talk to others..
    I have felt that he exaggerates his...
    perhaps we are both moving towards some kind of balance now...

Similar Threads

  1. Personal change and growth
    By Into The Light in forum General Support and Advice
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: September 6th, 2006, 08:37 PM
  2. ADHD drugs linked to growth delays?
    By David Baxter in forum ADHD & Learning Disabilities
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: April 6th, 2004, 12:45 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Disclaimer: PsychLinks is not responsible for the content of posts or comments by forum members.

Additional Forum Web Design by PsychLinks
© All rights reserved.